Side Quest: Runaway
Apart of the Peachiverse, Woman Like Me Series
Pairing: Hwang Yeji x OC
WC: 1.9k
Summary: a brief study into the lovelife of Hwang Yeji and Junie Emery, a brief exploration into the battle of acceptance.
Warnings: body image issues, sexuality issues. angst. fluff/bittersweet ending.
a/n: something small i put together to tie my little universe a little tighter together before the next chapters come out, and we get to visit our favorite lovers again
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
Yeji was smiling happily to herself as she gently stroked one of the cats next to her. The small tabby in question purred happily under the attention that the idol was giving them. Junie smiled while taking a happy sip of her tea.
“How have you liked Seoul so far?” Yeji asked and Junie thought about it for a second.
The redhead nodded before replying, “It’s a pretty city. They all tend to be.”
Yeji hummed to herself, setting the cat down onto the ground, “I think if I had to live anywhere in the world. No matter what. It would always be here. Traveling is nice, but it's stressful for me. At least here, I am comfortable.”
“I’d want to travel forever,” the other replied, knowing it was the exact opposite but couldn’t help but say her bit, “I think we grew up well enough off that as a child we went on many family trips to fun countries. I loved each one. With a tour coming soon, I’m giddy at the idea of some of our break days being able to explore a foreign country.”
“Have you seen some sights here?”
Junie nodded as another cat came up to Yeji, nudging at her sneakers, “Rosemarie and I went hiking the other day.”
“By yourselves?”
“Mhm.”
“Call me if you need a guide. I am not busy waiting for this all-clear for next comeback,” Yeji sighed inwardly before shrugging, “Very well, I get to talk to a pretty girl freely.”
Junie sputtered, nearly coughing up the sip of tea she was drinking, “Smooth.”
“Which one of you came up with the idea to cover Loco?”
“Ah jeez,” Junie waved a hand, “That’s a fan decision thing. We gave them five songs to choose from, and they decided they wanted us to cover that. I think Katya was hoping for Love Talk. I personally was hoping we could cover Like Lovers Do.”
Yeji just giggled, “You did amazing, regardless. I was so impressed, it felt like it was your song, not mine!”
“Now you’re just flattering me.”
“Well, yeah. Pretty girls deserve every praise.”
“Well, thank you for preparing such an astounding song that I am so lucky to perform. Your performance is incredible, and we can only hope to live close to it.,” Junie smiled at the end as Yeji’s ears glowed a pretty red underneath the cover of her hair.
Junie smiled again. This time not for the flirt, but to herself. Feeling herself feel right for once in her life. The way Yeji smiled and laughed with her felt more right than any boyfriend she’s ever had before. Something about how Yeji looked at her and called her pretty made her heart beat a rhythm she never heard before.
--
Sometimes Junie wondered if she was made for the pop star lifestyle. One day she would get on Twitter and laugh at funny memes and follow her favorite artists and then the next day, she was the one trending. She was the one made into memes or a hashtag or something that barely even made sense. Causing herself to delete the app and rely on the others to tell her anything she needed.
At first, it wasn’t much, fans tweeting out videos of their performances, saying how much they loved them and had their support. Then The Real cover blew up and suddenly everyone had an opinion. That they should wear more clothes to cover Jameela and Junie up more, that Junie’s dance lacked in comparison to Rosemarie--you know, the fucking professional dancer. She’d see tweets calling her body inspiring and praiseworthy, and others saying she needed to lose weight and find a weight management plan before interacting in K-pop.
It got worse when she entered Seoul. A beautiful city, but looking at every product placement, ever model, every idol she met was like looking at a bunch of what-ifs. What if she was skinnier? What if she was prettier? Had more talent?
Sometimes she wondered if she should have stuck with a computer engineering degree.
The thought stops the second she thinks about late nights spent in the studio with Sonya while they try to edit a music video. The thought stops when she receives Jameela’s gentle praise after a recording session. She doesn’t think about quitting when it's early in the morning and Rosemarie is running a choreography with her for the eighth time that she just doesn’t get. The thought doesn’t exist when Katya sends her a fan made meme.
Juniper Emery was made for this life, she just needed to be stronger.
---
“When did you know you were a lesbian?” Yeji stumbled at the line of questioning, but quickly recovered. They were out on a nightly snack run after the game night with the others, going to grab drinks before running back, and Junie couldn’t stop herself from asking.
“God, no one’s ever asked that. Usually it’s How do you know when you’ve never kissed a guy?”
“Well, I’ve kissed men and felt nothing, so it’s easy to get the how.”
Yeji giggled, the bags of drinks rustling in the night wind, “Well, I suppose I was young. I had a friend in middle school and I swear her hair was so soft, it would make a rabbit jealous. She was sweet. Feisty. And had a boyfriend and I was so, so jealous. I mean, the guy smelled like pork belly most days. But like raw.”
Junie giggled and Yeji kept talking, “We drifted as I began training but I figured it was a crush when I met a trainee months later and felt the same. Then again, and again, then oh my gosh, Jessie-eonni is so hot. Then I met Twice, and my world felt like a slide down. Even meeting every male idol I met was nothing compared to the day I got Jeongyeon-eonni to smile at me and call me a good trainee.
“Maybe I’m just a simp for a feminine affection. It’s hard to figure out in this industry. I don’t get to explore explore. Possibly a fling with another idol backstage here and there. Nothing consistent. Nothing that confirms it more than the initial attraction,” Yeji finished, pulling a soda out of the bag and handing one to Junie after opening it. She took one for herself and sipped at it.
“Thank you.”
“Hm?”
“I don’t think it’s a secret I’m questioning my sexuality. It’s nice to hear from someone I think confident in the topic.”
Yeji hummed, staring up at the moon. It was shining and waxing, lighting their way back to KQ, “I don’t think we ever stop learning about ourselves, eonni. I think we are forever growing beings, and we shouldn’t stop that growth for a long, long time. Who knows? Maybe next year I’ll find a man, gross, and fall in love. Who knows, maybe I’m just too open in the fact that everything changes and nothing is guaranteed.
“I mean, there’s a chance one day I’ll wake up and Twitter hates me, and suddenly I don’t have a career. And I have to be okay with that. Same for my love life.”
“How about you?” Yeji gestured for Junie to take a sip of her drink, “When did you know you were gay?”
“When you saved me at the party.”
Yeji froze for a second before they continued their walk, chatting bout sexuality and what it means to be sapphic.
---
“Still no response?” Jameela asked Junie on the plane, and she nodded, looking at the unanswered messages she left to Yeji.
“I feel like an idiot.”
“Not your fault, she just assumed you two were dating.”
“Yeah, but. We saw each other like every day. Did all those cute shit,” Junie sighed, switching between her messaging apps and Twitter, redownloaded out of pity, “I would think it too if I was in her shoes.”
Jameela just looked up at her as the flight attendants milled around, readying them for take off. It was a last minute flight, and Junie was more than happy to quickly grab it, so she wouldn’t have to face her own mistakes. Rosemarie was already dozing beside them, refusing to tell them about what happened to make her want to leave so soon.
“What?”
Jameela sighed. The type of sigh she did when she didn’t think Junie wasn’t ready to hear what she had to say. Unfortunately, she may be right, “Do you really think the first woman you have feelings for is going to be the one for you?”
“Huh?”
“Come on, think about it rationally,” Jameela shut her book for a second, looking out the window. In moments like this, Junie could easily see why fans were enamored by Jameela’s stern expressions, making you crave her approval.
“Rationally?”
“You’ve only just figured out that maybe you like women more than all these plain white men you’ve been dating. That started with Yeji. I mean, think about it her way. Would you want to be someone’s gay awakening? Would you want to date someone with that sort of pressure?”
“I guess not.”
“No, you wouldn’t. It’s being put on a pedestal that you never asked for. It’s totally just not the same. Not only that, but it’s a power imbalance, and you feel like you’re leading. You should take a risk. Go enjoy life and go enjoy finding out your sexuality. And if, at the end, you decide you still want to be with Yeji, fucking do it after leveling the field. Do it after you know for sure.
Yeji wants a commitment, and you may not be ready for that yet.” Jameela finished and picked back up her book, signifying that the conversation was over, even though Junie felt like she was stuck in the middle of a tornado.
She supposed it wouldn’t hurt to take the time for the tour to find herself.
“Did the comments bother you too?” Junie couldn’t help herself from asking, peering down at Jameela’s outfit of a large sweatshirt and flowy pants.
“What?”
“The weight comments?” Junie shrugged, “Twitter and all they have to say bout us and how our stomachs jiggle.”
Jameela looked the singer up and down before sighing, “Maybe. I don’t want to-”
“You’re beautiful regardless. So am I.” Junie nodded to herself, “It’s not mutually exclusive.”
“I-”
“I don’t want to see you lose your love for fashion because some netizen online calls you some mean name. Some fatphobic or racist thing. They don’t deserve to win.”
“And what about you? Should I fight each one that talks about your body or your skill?”
“Whenever one of us slips up, the other is there to catch them.”
Jameela smiled then as Rosemarie flipped over in her sleep, nuzzling closer to the two. The sleeping dancer spoke up, “I’ll kill for you all. Don’t worry. I’ll delete Twitter if needed.”
Junie smiled, feeling a bit lighter than she has in years.
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
Taglist:
@sunnytaes @burningupp @hwajoongsang @hwatermelonsuga
@one-101
@bunnypig18@brownieracha @davoraciousreader @hoohoohope
@italiekim
