I read your post about Hybristophilia and I must say it's very interesting. I do have a few questions after reading it though. My first question is; When did you first start having feelings for people that committed crimes, and at what age? Did you see a doctor, or consult a professional? I myself have had various instances where I have felt strongly for a serial killer. One of my strongest fixations was for Ian Brady (A British serial killer) but only 20 characters left. Thank you for the post!
First off, I'm glad you found the post to be interesting!
As for your first question, I say it's hard to point out. Like, I would say it happened around the time that I was first able to have any sort of sexual feeling, so to speak. Like, as soon as my hormones started kicking in and I felt like "kissing" and "touching" people for the first time, if you know what I mean. And as soon as I started feeling sexual attraction for individuals, I noticed that I often felt a pull towards the more violent criminals that came up on the news, or the ones that I'd watch documentaries from. I think this started happening around the age of 12 or 13, and before that time, I hadn't been exposed to a lot of material on serial killers, rapists, and such. So I didn't really know, or rather, I wasn't given much of a chance to explore that. And, well, as soon as I started learning about these things, I started noticing the "trending topic" amongst those I found attractive. But I guess you could say that a part of me had to know about the hybristophilia in order for me to be interested in famous crimes/criminals in the first place. So I don't know. All I'm certain of is that by the age of 14 and 15, I had already a well-established, acknowledged attraction for criminals.
Coincidentally, around this time in my life, I was going to therapy for other issues, and I did mention this attraction to my therapist after I began feeling comfortable around her. So it's like, I didn't really consult a professional solely because of the hybristophilia, but I just happened to talk to the one I was already seeing about it. Sort of like "Hey, by the way, people who murder and rape turn me ON is there anything you have to say about that or...?"
She was obviously a little freaked out because I was so young, but in the end she just sort of like went "Ok, there's a name for that, actually" and educated me on the paraphilia, and she also spent a lot of time reinforcing the idea that hybristophilia could be dangerous if taken too far, so I had to exercise really good control of my emotions in that aspect.
Well, that's interesting! You might be one of us, haha. And I completely love Ian Brady. He's the quintesential sadistic, sexually-deviated psychopath and I adore it so much. Not to mention that the whole "Myra Hindley would've probably led a normal life had you not come along" thing is just aklsgspjgossdgnsgklwot, the source of many a fantasy.
Thank you so much for asking!