advice: detaching yourself from male validation & seeking relationships
here's the thing with high school relationships: they are so so fun. the idea of a first love is such a beautiful thing in my opinion, and I think everyone SHOULD experience at like a sort-of romantic relationship before college. this teaches people how to care for others, have communication skills, and serves to help you navigate future, more serious relationships later in life.
HOWEVER, you really, really, really shouldn't ever depend on this idea that you will find a perfect boyfriend or girlfriend in high school, that you'll be sweethearts and go to prom together and be this perfect, complete thing. because, to put it honestly, people think too much about themselves. especially at an age where you are still very much a kid, growing and learning and sometimes not taking others into consideration.
" so, what?" SO, here is how you navigate this incredible strong desire to obtain a boyfriend, or even just romantic attention from guys:
get a hobby. not one to impress anyone but yourself. if you like a guy who's super into film, you don't need to become a ' film girl'. find somethings that screams YOU. it can literally be anything you enjoy doing in your free time, ( i'll put up a link to suggestions here) but I'm personally advising something productive. which brings me to my next point...
get off your phone!!! i can't say enough about this, seriously. if you're constantly checking your socials, on tiktok/snap/insta, you will be taking in the lives of other people, whether it be your friends or complete strangers. this builds jealousy. a proven fact, depression and anxiety is present teenagers who use social media DOUBLE the amount of teens who don't. majority of these apps don't lead to anything good, and mainly serve as major distractions to other important aspects of your life. ( i know you're reading this on tumblr, but i'm here to tell you that my account is good vibes only luv y'all)
non-romantic social interaction is key. everyone needs environments where they are able to decompress, be ugly, be genuine, laugh and have a good time without the upkeep or stress of trying to look a certain way. this is what real friends are for. on top of this, good friends will shut down negative self-talk and hype you up like you deserve to be! spend time with people that make you feel good about yourself.
turning that all into confidence doesn't look like the simplest thing, but trust me, it can be effortless with time and sticking to what you know is best for yourself. putting your phone away creates less windows into other people's lives, which will in turn make you realize that those people you once obsessed over? not that important. reaching that step will be such a relieving feeling, and you won't regret it. putting your time into things you're interested will help you get to know yourself better, enjoy solitude, and will genuinely make you happier. the reason people encourage things like this in the first place is because they work!! the final results of doing these things will look like a self-confidant queen, who doesn't chase, but attracts.
