Feeling suicidal the last few days.

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Feeling suicidal the last few days.
just wrote the SADDEST angst.. not gonna post the second one just yet because i feel like that'd be evil..
I definitely didn't sob while writing it..
some lad was filmed ..caressing… his female companion live on sky before the first kick off and they’ve already found his partner and child 90 minutes later
They talked about “the big news of the week” aka non binary people on radio Kiss 98 and honestly I don’t deserve to be this triggered during breakfast like wtf..
Well here it is. The biggest moment in my career and a big tipping point depending on how well it goes. If it goes well, it will be a huge step to the next part of my career, if it does’t..... well. I don’t really want to think about it.
I legit feel sick and so nervous. But I am trying to believe in myself and stay confident. I know I can do it, I just tend to crack under pressure and this isn’t a situation where I can do that.
Wish me luck, guys! Send good vibes my way! I need all that I can get. I don’t have much of a queue but there are a few posts.. Sorry about that!
I’ll give you an update tonight around midnight/1am!!
:'3 there's a lot of Taehyung on my dashboard rn.. ;v; im not over it.. i probably wont be.. ever~ u kno wat im refering to ;3
And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
/watch?v=EMsTSdHIJds
((ahhh too much cuteness from these ships))