#i didn't think

[that-wildwolf]

I GOT MY MONEY BACK!!!!!!

Everyone... I love everyone thank you for helping me out so much because this was at the beginning of the month I wouldn't have been able to stay on top of bills without you I'm not even joking 🥺 😭

I DIDN'T THINK THIS WOULD HAPPEN.... I HEARD IT CAN TAKE UP TO 3 YEARS IN COURT....

[ledetlore]

oh i am VERY invested in every single one of the coal family and right now my eyes are SET oh mr john coal over there my complicated sibling relationships alarm is going HAYWIRE right now. so is my eldest-child-syndrome. genuinely i can't help but wonder how nathaniel interacts with john vs gideon and how john views that. did nathaniel try and be better to john, but in the process put unnecessary pressures on him to be the Perfect Big Brother? gideon never had any siblings, so John would be pa's first in regards to guiding a young kid thru conflict resolution. was he constantly on his case about it? "you're older and bigger you should know better" and "protect your brothers always watch them make sure they're safe and if they get in trouble at least once i will punish you bc you should have been the responsible one" and "no you can't leave this farm you are my heir this belongs to you you can't have Dreams you have responsibilities!" if that's the case, of course he'd be resentful of gideon he's everything he was never allowed to be and somehow is "better" because of it!! gnawing at the bars of my enclosure over this!

and the whole "you can't be better than someone who's dead" oh the sharp objects by gillian flynn of it all

im really excited for you to get to john tbh bc we havent gotten much from his POV

also rosetta as a character INTRIGUES me she has the voice of a rattlesnake and gideo knows lots of those (i.e. kremy), i would LOVE to see that come to a head

Okay, I'mma be real as hell for a minute here.

I didn't put any thought into John really. The character profiles i made for these OCs are brief, but his was three sentences. I didn't think of the implications, which is, I suppose, my fault here.

I wasn't thinking much beyond wanting to write scenes for this fic with an overarching plot of inviting the family to the wedding with a bit of reunion angst as well. This means that I haven't actually planned the order of these chapters, I throw in what works for me when I get there.

But it is making me think of newer conflicts that can arise. I am now coming to the last of the prewritten chapters, and the comments have driven me to analyse how John feels outside of the hollow vessel i created for conflict.

I haven't read Sharp Objects, but i fear i will have to because it may end up being a good point of reference for this fic.

John as a character is a wild one to latch on to as he literally... doesn't exist much to me. I need to go into it more - he's the oldest, he's dating someone but not engaged yet, he's entitled and lazy, but undoubtedly was traumatised by being raised by a man who sill misses his first, and is still a mess over it years and years later.

I know, I know, there's a lot I should have thought of. I can try to do right by him, expand him into a proper character with thoughts, feelings, motivation. I feel a little guilty because everyone seems to be finding meaning, when to me there is none. I am just writing this to have like. Vibes.

I'll do better I promise - but like JALBM, HB&HB is literally just something I am writing for fun, not really like... a deep dive. John is my own OC and I know less about him then you guys do. To me he's just an enabler of conflict - but I need to think why he starts that conflict, why he's the one to push against Kremy, and by extension Gideon.

[the-blossica-fan]

How many straight ships do you have? Just curious. I know of Pavia and Satsuki, and while adorable as they are I am curious to know if you have any others.

That is a very important question whose answer I have to think of.

Errr, aside from Pavia and Satsuki, I also really like Regulus and X!

I have been influenced, and they're quite great, I just don't talk about them much. I like to think of it as a "This is my boyfriend X and this is my boyfriend's partner MedPoc".

I also like the idea of Barbara and Nick Bottom, it's maybe the fact that Barbara would feel so comforted to have someone like Nick Bottom around because she no longer feels alone.

Ms. Radio and Doors, I do not need to explain myself

Maybe Shamane and Kaalaa Baunaa but not entirely, I like their Mentor-Student relationship more. And may or may not have been influenced by Anymocha

And I believe that's it 😓

We maybe can count Spathodea and Ezra, but then again it's so very friendship coded for me I'm not sure I wanna decode.

Not me trying to remember what straight ships I ship

[baronessblixen]

“it's better than before.” (please don’t hurt me too bad!)

I think this was an angst prompt and my answer is... not. I don't know what it is exactly! Set in the revival, Mulder muses about life, changes and Scully. Wc: 1,966

Tagging @today-in-fic

Everything Old is New Again

The fake sunrise his alarm clocks projects wakes him at 6.30 am, like every morning. One of these days he’s going to find an old analog clock like he used to have. But that’s a task for another morning. Until then, he will wake up to this, believing Scully when she says it’s better for him. Even if the light is fake.

His body protests as he rolls over to switch off the orange light and the bird chirping that accompanies it. He doesn’t know how to turn off the incessant sound on its own. It just turns on every morning. There should be a manual for this damn alarm clock, but if there is, he’s lost it.

Mulder groans as he sits up in bed, running a hand over his face. It’s Friday. Once, days of the week didn’t matter. Weekend was an idea rather than a fixed set of days. Nowadays, he works Monday to Friday, like one of these agents he used to think of as lazy when he himself was younger. He wonders what young agents think about him now. If they think about him at all.

In the bathroom, his Bluetooth speaker greets him with a mechanical good morning and hits from the 70s, 80s and 90s. You can take the man out of the decades, but not the decades out of the man.

He showers quickly, his shower head made to save water. Less than five minutes later he’s done. Gone are the days of long, hot showers. Now there’s only efficiency. Scully got him the shower head last Christmas and he, against all odds, had hoped it meant she wanted to take more showers here, at their house. His hopes were crushed when she told him she had a date for New Year’s Eve.

He spent long days waiting to hear about the date, about the new man in her life. It never happened. Over a month later, when her birthday drew near, he asked her about it, pretending his heart wasn’t pounding. She merely shrugged, said it was only one date and nothing more. The nameless man remained so. As did the next, and the one after him. Then, in May, Scully told him about Paul. A guy she went on more than one date with. Five, to be exact. Mulder tried counting backward to find out when it had started. Whether something had changed then. Had she smiled more? Had she seemed happier?

“I hope you,” she had said, taking his hand in hers. “I hope it doesn’t bother you. I will keep my personal life out of the office. I just wanted you to know. I owe you that much.”

So he knew. May went by in a blur and June promised to be the same with Scully asking for a week off. He didn’t ask and she didn’t say, but he knew she was going to spend it with Paul. Mulder threw himself into work, didn’t allow himself to think about her, or about what she and Paul were doing.

When she returned, a soft tan on her face, she looked guilty and Mulder was deflated. Once, they had gone on vacation, too. Away from the darkness that had followed them. No matter how much sun there was, how much love they made, it hung over them like a rain cloud. They both knew that one day it would break and drown them.

Paul was history by late June. Scully told him in passing while they were getting ready to board a plane. He just nodded, trying to keep his face neutral when in reality he felt like bursting into song.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“You’re not,” Scully replied, but there was a twinkle in her eyes and a lightness in her voice he hadn’t heard in a while.

He took her hand as the plane started, knowing how much she hated that moment. She didn’t pull away and Mulder knew that things were changing.

His coffee grows cold over his musings, but he downs it anyway before he grabs his car keys to leave for work. The sun – the real one – has just woken up and is blinking through the gray September clouds up above. Mulder turns on the heat in the car, feeling a bit chilly.

He hooks up his phone, tells it to navigate him to work and starts his car. How different this used to be. Back in the day, he knew the way to the Hoover building by heart. Now he isn’t sure he’d find his way without his phone. Scully keeps telling him to not use it as it will make his brain shrink, but it’s just easier this way. And it gives him time to think. About Scully.

Today is the day. He’s planned it meticulously. He will ask her out. An old-fashioned date, just the two of them. No cases, no excuses, and no Pauls. No bees either. He grins, humming along to the song on his playlist. Another one of those things. He and Scully used to find tapes in their rental cars from time to time, listening to them in excitement. They never knew what the next song would be. He misses those days, sometimes. Misses the unpredictability of it all.

Mulder stops in front of the coffee shop he and Scully have started frequenting. It’s a far cry from the places they went to back in the day. There are seven different varieties of milk now, not just one. A couple of weeks ago, he ordered a coffee with cow milk and Scully threw him a look, reminding him that plant-based milk is better for the environment and for him.

Ever since then, he’s been taking his coffee with unsweetened almond milk. After all, Scully is a medical doctor and he trusts her. In every conceivable way. He orders his coffee and Scully’s and buys two sandwiches for lunch, too. Vegan, of course.

Scully is already there when he enters the office. She gives him a smile, sitting on the edge of their desk, reading through a file. His stomach somersaults, putting a huge grin on his face that takes him back at least 20 years. She has that effect on him. Then, now and always.

“Good morning,” she says. “I’ve been wondering where you are.”

“Huh?”

“It’s late, Mulder. Late for you anyway. Was there a lot of traffic?” She takes a sip from her coffee as she waits for his answer.

“Um, no. I was just- getting read took a bit longer this morning.”

“You’re not sick, are you? When was your last check up?” Asking about his check ups is the best way to remind him that he’s getting old. That he is old already.

“I’m not sick,” he assures her. “Just lost in thought. That happens when you wake up to a sunrise and birds chirping.”

“It’s good for you, Mulder. It’s a gentle way of waking up.” He’s heard her explain it to him plenty of times and so he just smiles at her, nodding.

“How are you waking up these days?” He asks her, taking a nip of his coffee.

“Hm? Not with a sunrise,” she says, throwing him an amused look. Now’s his chance.

“Hey Scully, what are you doing tonight?” His heart is hammering against his chest. If he were to tell Scully, she’d probably worry he’s having a heart attack. He’s at that age now, as she not so subtly reminded him a while ago. With his questionable diet and his inability to kick his sunflower seed habit, he should be careful. But right now, unbeknownst to her, his heart is in her hands.

“I don’t have any plans,” she says.

“In that case… would you like to have dinner with me tonight?”

“I’d love to, Mulder,” she answers without hesitation, rendering him speechless. “Are you okay? You do look a bit green.” By now, she’s walked over to him and she puts her hand on his cheek, gently caressing it.

“I’m just surprised.”

“That I want to have dinner with you?”

“That I didn’t even have to persuade you,” he replies honestly.

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask me out again,” she says and color shoots into her cheeks. “I was ready to ask you to dinner myself.”

“Why didn’t you?”

She shrugs, stepping closer to him and fully invading his personal space. He doesn’t mind one bit and puts his hand on her waist. They’re skipping steps, jumping ahead, but they’ve been here before. This isn’t new. It’s merely a restart of something old and familiar.

“I was scared,” she admits.

“Scared? Of me?”

“Of you saying no.”

“Scully, I will never say no to you. I’ve been waiting too, biding my time. When you told me about Paul…” Scully groans and presses her head against his chest.

“That was a mistake,” she says against his tie. Her head resurfaces and he falls in love all over with her. With the way her fingers play with the lapels of his coat, contemplating how much she allows herself here in their office. With the way her eyes dance when he smiles at her, putting his hand on the small of her back to draw her closer. He doesn’t care that they’re in the office. Or that it’s not even 9 am.

“I hope I’m not a mistake,” Mulder says softly.

“You’ve never been a mistake, Mulder. Not once.”

“Would kissing you now be a mistake?”

“Not if I kiss you first.” And she does exactly that. He’s dreamed about kissing Scully many, many times. Back when they were first partnered and he didn’t yet know how she tasted or what she liked.

He dreamed of her when he was hiding from the world, missing her and their son. Dreamed about her when she made the choice to save them and leave so that he could get better, and she could, too. Now they are. Her mouth fits against his as perfectly as it ever has. He knows how to kiss her, how to move his lips, and how to tease her with his tongue so that she moans and presses herself against him. Some things haven’t change, won’t ever change.

“I missed doing this,” she says when they break for air.

“Making out in the office?” He presses another soft kiss against her lips.

“We never really did that, did we?”

“There’s still time.” He grins at her.

“This is a work place.” But she, too, is grinning.

“It’s Friday anyway. We can leave early.” He kisses her again and she responds in kind. When they break apart this time, she sighs.

“What are you thinking?” He asks her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“When I thought about this – us – I didn’t think… I wondered how it would happen. How we would be.”

“Is it how you thought it would be?”

“I didn’t think it would happen in the office,” she says. “I didn’t think it would happen in the morning. You taste like almond milk, Mulder.”

“No more cow milk for me. You said so. So… what’s the verdict?”

“Let me just-” She kisses him again, her tongue teasing him. His eyes flutter close and he wonders what Scully would say if he reminded her of his office sex fantasy. But maybe it’s too early for that anyway.

He wants to give her sunrises in bed, fake or otherwise. Orgasms, too. But only real ones. He wants to share his new favorite songs with her. Wants to drive around with her, Google Maps be damned. He just wants to be with her, in whatever way she lets him.

“It’s better than before,” she says and he knows she’s right.

[tadaxii-i]

I would like to thank @staringdeadintotheabyss for prompting this. I don't know if It's because I wanted to be prompted or if because the whole name scenario confused the shit out of you, but thank you, and I'm sorry for tagging you four (4!) times. I'm copying my replies :)

They said : Why desk????

okay okay so it's specific.

Because, I was watching a video on fatui theories and the person talked about Il Dottore and his segments very briefly, along the lines of "[Zandik] was the first we ever saw in the manga. While he seemed interested in the delusion, the segment we see next, [Sargent] is almost disdainful of it (absolutely uninterested yada yada). And I saw him at his desk and immediately, he sprouted in my mind. I could see him as this uptight workaholic (kinda like Silicium. It seems it was a stressful time in Prime's life when he made them.) who always stayed at his *desk*. You see it? I can very clearly see them agreeing on a "rest night" (with the supervision of an assistant or not, but I'm not going to talk to you about Sage the test subject/assistant yet cuz it's long) and they would have to absolutely drag him away from his office. I'd like to think he acquired the nickname desk after he spent a record-breaking 134h hogged in his little office. His name is Sargent for another reason but that's even longer.

[kookies2000]

Me to my shipping heart: this episode is about Gus. There will be zero Huntlow crumbs.......

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He blushed? HE BLUSHED!!! Seeing Willow!!!! Ok! Stay cool! This is only a tiny crumb.

Oh...... my....... Hunter knows Willow better than Gus? Like, Gus! You've known her much longer than Hunter. Who interacts with her through the phone. And he still managed to know this wasn't the real her before you? And Hunter still calls her "Captain" ? FORGET ALL YOU HUNTLOW HATERS!!!!! I'm having huntlow crumbs tonight!!!!

[allo-frouto]

You are shy, nature lover, adventurous, introverted girl but open to your close ones. Enjoy spending time slow walking and laughing with loved ones.

Correct!

[lanwangjihouse]

oh my. fucking god. this entire time i was asking myself why you were tagging bts the koren band in the tags. now i realized its behind the scenes. oh my god. im feeling so stupid rn jhehfkwew

oh no, my dear, not BTS but bts (behind the scene) lmao- I'm sorry that I'm confusing you