I'm in the same place rn. I'm sick of being in the closet and having to pretend to be in on straight people's bullshit, but I feel like I'm suddenly under a microscope when I tell people outside of my (homophobic) family I'm a lesbian. I live in a homophobic community, and even well-meaning straight people make me very uncomfortable with their overinterested, trying-to-be-casual-but-failing behaviors
Aha, it did take me a while to understand how even well-meaning straight people were still like, straight people, and relating to them is almost impossible. The isolation is really really difficult, even when you’re not much of a social person. I wish I could tell you something that makes it better, but the only thing I can think of is that, you know, there were lesbians in the past, in places like ours, without the amazing support online communities can give you, so if they made it, we’ll make it too!