Eyyy found this through friends and here you'll find the original post!
"With Fifty Shades of Grey being made into a movie, I've tried to raise awareness how this book is not about BDSM, but rather domestic and sexual abuse. Many women argue that the relationship in the book is BDSM, but that paints BDSM in a bad light.
BDSM is a community that believes in safety & comfort. Consent is always necessary, and partners take care of each other. After acts and roleplays, partners comfort each other to help transition out of that zone. FSOG does not include any of this. Mr. Grey gives Anastasia (a then-virgin) an ultimatum; to sign a contract or leave. She is sexually inexperienced (being a virgin) and he manipulates that to push her boundaries to make it seem like the sexually violent things he is doing to her are okay. There are instances where after an act, he is mad at her for being upset, but does not comfort her. He uses alcohol to sway her consent - this is by law rape. There is also an instance where she uses the safe word, yet he continues. That is consent being retracted, and Christian ignores the retraction of consent. That is sexual assault.
Those are not the only problematic instances. Anastasia begins to hide things in fear of Christian's anger. He becomes jealous and easily angered. Anastasia fears for her safety. Experts have even matched her behavior with that of abused women, in accordance with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's description of partner violence.
This book completely throws people who participate in BDSM completely under the bus by misrepresenting BDSM as a whole. Bad people do sneak into BDSM to find a way to escape persecution for their violent ways, but the majority of those in BDSM are not abusive, like this book would have you believe.
This book romanticizes and fetishizes abuse, and painting abuse in a 'sexy' and 'fun' light is really dangerous for women. 1 in 5 women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime, that's why this book should not be defended. Making this behavior seem okay to accept from a man is dangerous, and people will be influenced to dabble in 'BDSM,' but not have an actual idea of what it is, and they will get hurt.
It is up to every individual what they read, never anyone else. The point of this post is to point out how FSOG is problematic, not to police anyone's reading habits. I know many women (and men) defend this book and don't understand how it can be seen as abuse, but it is. And I hope more awareness will be raised so this does not influence others." -Many women do not agree with me on this subject - but it's important. from Reddit User ahhidk
I'd like to add a few more points I've felt myself, although I would hardly call myself an expert on FSOG, so bear with me if I'm wrong in any way. Honestly I dislike the way the author presents the events of the book and whatever the relationship is between the two characters as a good thing. But personally, as a writer myself, I would have been slightly mollified had the author added a note in the beginning, on how this type of relationship, this abuse of people is used purely fictitiously and readers should be aware it's not healthy. I write screwed up things all the time, but it doesn't mean I'm going to attempt them in real life. They are characters, and it's a story. I enjoy reading and writing things that explore humans, emotions, experiences, that I may never actually experience myself, and often times, may certainly never want to. But I do want to make sure readers are aware it's a story, and these are not good things.
tl;dr Misrepresenting Anastasia and Christian's relationship as a healthy thing is potentially misleading to readers. People may understand it is not, but the writer herself seems to sway that it is a perfectly acceptable thing in her writing.
Write whatever you want, but think about your readers.
That's all, tumblr. I love you too.
