#icouldntsaveher

[thereshouldbemoredancing]

I feel like I should have a funeral, for my former self. Who I was as a young kid. She's dead and gone. Society destroyed her.

[legoule]

i couldn't save her

I couldn't save her the first time I was selfishly saving myself which changed us both and made her desperate the second time I really tried, she chose him the third time I didn't even try she was younger then than I am now and she had given up the fourth time I had no idea I thought I was being strong she was crying for help with everything but words I did nothing then she had strokes little ones a legion of destructive electricity marching through, tearing though her brain a pin point at a time the fifth came I was ready, I can do this I’m in my thirties my shit together healthy marriage, good job, successful business everything she always wanted but never had I can do this, I’m ready I can help her, I can make it better she'll be with US, we can do this it was tough, at times she was child like the damage was done she did not progress for three years we did what we thought was right only to have a spider, a liver, and a coma converge on my watch I was there I couldn't save her she woke to say goodbye I watched her take her last breath I signed the papers I couldn't save her

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@legoule