more on maddie!monty bc i think about him a lot. idk if this makes sense or if im contradicting myself, it's very hard to put into well thought out words how insane i am about the way maddie plays monty
i really love the desperation that maddie plays him with, and how it makes conflict with this need he has to prove himself and also his need to convince everyone that he is the best man for the job 24/7. he's biting, screaming and clawing his way into everyone's view and he doesn't care if that means they'll like him or not, at least they'll see him and choose him. he has this carefully constructed mask of "Ewen Montagu", but sometimes his overwhelming need for validation will cause it to slip and break
this really stands out to me in the scene in making a man where bevan is about to leave and the way maddie shouts "John!" has a genuine level of a fear to it, because if bevan walks out, he's going to fail, and he's going to fail in front of people who he wants to convince he's perfect.
and because maddie!monty feels a lot younger he doesn't have that ability to command Bevan's attention so he has to almost beg for it, and he doesn't like that, he's been doing such a good job with this plan but now bevan is calling him out and humiliating him in front of his team and he has to battle between his own personal pride and the what will help the mission, his "just let me explain" feels like a genuine ask rather than an annoyed comment, he wants to badly to prove to everyone that he can do this, he needs people to believe in him, otherwise what good is he.
