#idle contemplation

[faidh-an-tsolais]

URL CHANGE

eldritch-seer ---> faidh-an-tsolais

I felt it was time for a change.

[faidh-an-tsolais]

Nice to see you about again, John. Have things calmed down from Valentine's?

[faidh-an-tsolais]

Occasionally I wonder if I followed Mr. Digiamazzi for the dry wit and intellect I often see him display, or the taste in fashion he shows with some of his posts.

[madmaryholiday]

so i was thinking

of telling my psychologist person about the other people in my head. which aren't exactly other people, really, but like aspects of my personality that grow strong enough to kind of diverge from my main self and gain semi-consciousness. cos she asked me if i heard voices, and, well, i do? sort of? but it's more like layers in my brain, i guess. the way i describe it is that my brain is like a shared apartment or a boarding house: everyone has their own room, but there's also a common area where they can all go and interact and stuff. i'm aware of them all and they're aware of each other and we're all kind of the same thing but not exactly? i consider it a coping mechanism, as having certain alternate personae have kept me from doing bad things in the past (by being there for me to realize that the impulses are not all me, but only part of me. does that make sense?).

so it's not really a problem, despite the fact that one of these is homicidal and another is suicidal, since i can kind of go "well, that's vivian talking. i don't have to go swallow my entire bottle of pills and wash it down with a bottle of vodka."

but i'm morbidly interested in hearing what she has to say about all that. i guess you can say that a small part of me wants to see how many diagnoses i can collect? i don't know. i'm a bit perverse like that. cos i wouldn't be lying--i would absolutely not lie in pursuit of interesting diagnoses--but i don't really...care that i have these things happen? so it's not something i really need to talk to her about. i guess i'll see how these appointments go. and maybe if i'm bored or something i'll bring it up.