hiii i’d like to request an ilmarë! i love her and eonwë :3
Her design would be something similar to this. Very glowing, very bright. I still have problems making the difference between Valar and Maiar big enough 🤔 I'd be curious how much I would have to scale up Varda's design to make it work compared to her handmaiden.
I keep going back to these thoughts in hy head, but I have wayyyyy too many fics on the go to actually write it. Basically the concept of the AU is that the Maiar are seen as lesser beings compared to everyone else. The Valar are rulers, the elves and humans are the special creations of Eru, and the Maiar are just there to serve them both.
They're expected to swear themselves to a Vala and stay with them for good. They're expected not to even think for themselves, just go follow orders and do so pleasingly. My headcanon for this is that the Valar choose the forms their Maiar take. The Maiar do not have to eat or drink, not do they have to sleep. They are never introduced to it. When they see the elves doing it they are unaware that they can. The same applies for children and intimacy. They are not permitted to have friendships, romance, sex, or children. They either think that that is not natural for a Maia, or they are unaware it is even possible.
Mairon is originally given a beautiful form with freckles and long ginger hair. He hates being pretty, but has to smile though it. He just has to work constantly and he's growing tired. Melkor provides an escape and many Maiar take the risk, even if it means doing evil acts. They don't mind so long as it lets them keep their freedom. It isn't total freedom though since Melkor still demands their loyalty and subservience.
The chiefs of the Maiar are perfection personified, at least that's the standard they must meet. Eönwë and Ilmarë completely reflect the emotions of their king and queen, and must anticipate their needs. They are expected to know what to do and say without a command. They never found out what happens when they fail. They never allow themselves to let their thoughts stray. They never let themselves think lest they lose the only purpose in their lives. Ilmarë is a quiet servant, well put together and diligent. Eönwë is bright and clear, a perfect warrior on Manwë's leash like a hound that only ever looks for its next command. Manwë and Varda are not cruel. They love them, but they love them as lesser beings they are fond of. They expect this and in return they offer them a sense of usefulness.
Melian ran away. She wanted freedom, so she left them and married an elf. She wanted to feel like more than a machine. She wanted a family and love.
Perhaps more Maiar want the same thing and deny themselves their feelings. Their fear for the Valar is too great to ignore. Their self worth is too low to accept that they deserve to experience the world that Eru gave to them.