ilya fully talks to inanimate objects.
at first, shane doesn’t clock it cuz its all in russian. but as he starts to learn, he’s just like
“??????
did you just thank the toaster?” shane’s voice cracks a bit
and ilya does a little blushy blush, but passes it off all, “yes, hollander. mr. toaster works very hard for us. is the least i can do.”
and shane finds him doing it all over the place.
“Mr. Medicine, I am going to take you again, but I don’t know if you are working hard enough. I am going to tell the nice psychiatrist all about you. Better watch out. She might replace you.”
“Mmmmmmm, Shane will like you very much.” To the new plug he just unboxed.
But Shane does sometimes have to intervene. “Please don’t conspire with the blender. I really need the blender to work for me, Rozanov.”
“No, Hollander. Ms. Blender says you are working her too hard and that you should eat the eggs I made you.”










