this is...Off Brand...but 14 y/o me was too uncultured to properly appreciate Miss Gaga’s 2009 VMAs performance...actually this is On Brand bc the 2009 VMAs were fucking WILD and Beyoncé was going THRU IT that entire night shhsjdfhakkak
ok so, human-girl-falls-for-mermaid is a pretty popular trope and i am. so very gay for mermaids. but im also gay for M͎̹̀̊͊͒ͪ̃̚̚ ̦̫̺̗̩͎̜͊́͆ͪ̂̈́̓͛͗O͍͈͗̆ ͖̻ͬ̈́̄̚N͓̤̝̗̲͊̐̎̀̅̍̀̍ ͇̑̌̅ͯS͉̼̩͇͆̑̎ ̝̝̬̟̫͓̻̞̄̈T̙͔̈́̽͐̑ͫ̎̒ ͍̳̳͕̦̯̦̙ͫ͗ͬ̉̅ͅE̞̩̲̲̓̃͆̿͗ ̱̦̮ͩR̺̯̼̺͍̖͈̓ͯͫͪ͐̎̚ ͚̗͍̻̝̞̙ͫ͊́̐͊̈́S͔̦͔͚̱͖̪̽ͣͭ̇͋ͮͅ so if i may introduce to you: the Queen Conch
#long fucking post
anatomic illustration
more in-depth illustration (tw: sharp object, possible eyestrain?)
the real deal (tw: mucus, genetalia)
a good pic of the spine being extended (tw: hands, sharp object, mucus)
her beautiful sensuous eyes (tw: scopo, i think ? she looks right @ u)
so basically, the things that live inside what people think of when they think “conch shell” is the Queen Conch, a mollusk that is native to the Carribean tropical zone. shes slimy and fleshy and has these beautiful eyes and a Huge Fucking Spine that she can extend and get u with. its Excellent
ok SO here’s my idea. bc of some shady stuff in the 60s with florida fisheries, it’s now illegal to harvest queen conchs in florida and the keys. so our main human girl - shes apart of a ragtag group of her highschool friends + her cousins who illegally harvest conch and sell it to local restaurants under the guise of being conch importers from the Bahamas (where they’re from originally). her and her cousins live on a little boat in a Key West harbor and often sail back to North Bimini to keep up appearances.
the gang goes diving at night at least twice a week and our MG is the main diver. she can hold her breath for like ever, has excellent underwater nightvision even without the flashlight, and she just. loves the water. it surrounds her and makes her feel free but also secure?? even though she knows that the ocean can be super dangerous, she never feels safer then when she’s diving
so here’s where the Gay™ happens. MG is diving one night and the ocean’s like. so weirdly calm. it almost unsettles her but she doesn’t think too much of it. she fetches conch one by one, ladeeda, life is good. but then she starts coming up all these. empty shells. theres piles of em, stacked everywhere around the seaweed and she swims back up and tells her cousin that she found some weird shit and she’s gonna check it out to see if something’s messing with their crop. she goes back down and follows a trail of these empty shells, stopping to breath every once and well and then, in a clearing free of seaweed theres just
this giant fucking shell
it’s like twice her size and she’s facing away from it but she can tell that somethings moving on the other side. part of her wants to leave but the other kind of wants to get her cousins down here to look at it. she goes up for air (shes very far away from the boat now) then descends back down
its facing her now when she comes back
and the mollusk is starting to slink out of it. foot comes first, then the spine (the size of a human leg, reckons). then what looks like prehensible tentacles grapple at the outside of the shell. then the rest of it heaps out all at once
it’s neck is long and has more tentacles that protrude from it - like the snout of a usual conch - and it’s face is almost humanoid.the mucus streaming from it’s head is hair-like, the lips are plush and soft looking. and the eyes are so small and beady but so colorful and they focus on her immediately when she’s in reach. the MG is terrified.
and of course, her diving apparatus is losing battery. of Course.
the fans aren’t moving her fast enough and the MG isn’t going to be able to get back up quick enough to breath. and she’s freaking the fuck out and Then something Slimy runs up hr leg, of course. OF COURSE.
and the tentacle pulls her down and she cant believe this is how she’ll die. just trying to sell illegal fucking slugs to shitty ass tourist traps. she almost starts, crying, almost opens her mouth, when shes suddenly pushed up with so much power, her face burns and stings like it does during a flat plunge into the water. the slimy thing caresses her leg before she goes. she breaths once she breaks the surface with a ragged, torn up throat and her cousins boat comes upon her soon. they tend to her and dry her off and ask her what the fuck happened.
she feels like some kind of. spell is broken if she tells them. if that makes sense
THEN SHE VISITS THE QUEEN ALOT AND HOLD HANDS (tentacles??) AND KISS AND ITS GROSS AND SALTY AND IM REALLY GAY FOR MONSTERS HELP IM SORRY IF THIS ISNT WHAT YOU WANT BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH AAAA IVE BEEN MESSAGING M FRIENDS ABT CONCH SPINES FOR LIKE AN HOUR
