I sang to anyone who let me on this night. Today I’ve been deep thinking a lot. I’m going out of state in five days, and I will be in bikini wearing weather. For the most part I am over a lot of body issues, but certain days I get extremely frustrated. My diet is pretty clean, if I drink it’s red wine and i don’t do it as much as I used to. I go to the gym six times a week and I know that if someone else adopted my diet they’d be skinnier than I could get (bc I don’t digest fat.. just hold on to it, it’s a real problem). But here’s the thing; those people who you see on Instagram, with the perfect bodies (male or female) at the Gym, posting their booty work outs or “man gains,” may have great genetics. Or maybe they don’t participate in drinking or eating socially. I try to keep sugary desserts off my plate, but I also love baking. I love blasting music in my kitchen and baking food. I love creating recipes and unique vegan dishes that I can give to people and freak them out when they know I made it. I love wine. Not in a “I wanna get drunk” way, but in a “I really love savoring every moment and talking to who is around me “ kind of way. My body is difficult to me. I know I can lift more weights than I ever have, I know I’m strong, I know to be 135 lbs I can only eat vegetables and that’s it. But I guess, I’m accepting that’s not worth it to me. At some point you have to access what you love, how much it’s worth to care about your tummy pudge, and how much light you want to shine on others with your happiness. I want to change the world and brighten others day, and I don’t have to do that with a perfect body. #jayoung2017 #lotsofphotos #selfacceptance #imsorryiwentonthere #longpostbcimgonnagrabadrink