May 20, 2017
Hey there.
I miss you.
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Hey there.
I miss you.
I wanna hug you. For like 15 minutes.
Do I wanna see her? Do I really wanna see her? Actually I do. Well, actually I do. This ‘little’ word ruins everything. But actually I’m just scared. Scared of missing her more after I saw her. For maybe the first and the last time. I really wanna stay in contact with her. But am I able to do that? Does she even want that? I can’t tell. But she means the world to me and I wanna be at least something to her.
I just wanna be in her arms. I just wanna cuddle with her. I just wanna feel her body against mine.
I need someone right now... I need someone to talk to... But at least.. I need you.. More than anything right now..
Why is it not working out? Why aren't you giving me a chance? Gosh, I need you and I know how damn problematic this is, but who cares? I don't know if both of us would be strong enough for that but I think you're worth it... You just let me go away and let you leaving you alone. You didn't do anything about it... Just give me a chance. Please. I need you...
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know anything anymore. I let you go. And I know that it was wrong. I'm probably in love with you and I need you. But you don't see me the way I see you. There is so much more and I want things to work out between us. I wanna fall into your arms after we didn't see each other for months, because you had to travel because of work. I want to take your time. I wanna travel with you. I still wanna get to know every part of you. And I wanna see you smile and make you laugh 'til your stomach's hurting. I just want to love you as much as I can. I want to be able to laugh with you about stupid things. I wanna be silly with you. I wanna grow with you. I wanna see you aging. I want to admire everything that makes you who you are. I want to support you in everything that you do. I wanna watch you getting of stage and look at you, smile and be so damn proud of you for doing what you love and hugging and kissing the fuck out of you, bc I'm happy for you. I wanna spent every second I got with you. But the saddest thing about this is I kind of left you, because you're gonna hurt me and you're not feeling anything for me...