Anderson: "You are not the only one who wields a mighty weapon, vampire." *reaches into his pocket*
Alucard: "Is this the toy that's supposed to defeat me?"
Anderson: *pulls out a Pokéball*
Alucard: "What the fuck?"


#dc comics#dc#batman#bruce wayne#batfam#tim drake#dick grayson#batfamily#dc fanart



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Anderson: "You are not the only one who wields a mighty weapon, vampire." *reaches into his pocket*
Alucard: "Is this the toy that's supposed to defeat me?"
Anderson: *pulls out a Pokéball*
Alucard: "What the fuck?"
Young Integra: Walter, can you check for monsters under my bed?
Walter: Of course, sir
*looks under the bed*
Alucard:...sup
Alucard: Walter I need to talk to you about something
Walter: Oh what’s up ?
Alucard: Do you remember when we had sex ?
Walter: Yep.
Alucard: Something happened. I am with child.
Alucard, pointing at Seras: This child.
Seras: Nice to meet you new dad
Walter: Nope, don’t love that. How old is she ?
Seras: 20
Alucard: 20
Walter: What happened after we had sex ? That’s not-
Alucard: Well I took a plan b, went to cheddar village, then adopted her. Pregnancy is cool.
Walter: You were not pregnant !
Alucard: You don’t get to say that, no uterus no opinion. You don’t understand what I went through.
Walter: You went through a long legal process to adopt a full grown adult which by the way takes years to do
Alucard: I don’t understand because-
Seras, tugging on Alucard’s sleeves: Do you have games on your phone ?
Alucard: Do you not have a phone ?
Seras: No.
Alucard: Did I get one of the freaking poor ones ?!? Anyways, I’m keeping it.
Walter: Don’t call her an it !
Seras: My name is Seras, new dad.
Alucard: I love her and I own her
Walter: Nope that’s not-
Alucard: You can either stay in the picture or leave !
Walter: 100 percent going to leave
Alucard: I don’t understand, you had sex with me
Walter: Right
Alucard: Bodily agreement, now we have a child
Walter: No
Alucard, singing: 🎵 The mother of your children 🎶
Walter: Children ?!?
Alucard, singing: 🎶 You have a baby and she’s 20 🎵
Seras, tugging on Alucard’s sleeve: Can we go to target ?
Alucard: Get the fuck off of me !
Seras: You’re a bitch.
“Bitches love cannon and you do like that boy ‘cannon’ don’t you Police Girl?”
“The Crimson Fucker” Alucard to Seras Victoria about Jaune Arc ‘cannon’
Integra: I’ve left instructions for everyone while I’m gone.
Alucard: Mine just says “Alucard no”
Integra: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.
Alucard: I can't die! I'm immoral! Seras: ...You mean "immortal"? Alucard: Yeah, that too.
Van Winkle: "Coffee for you, Herr Major?"
Major: "Thank you, Van Winkle. Um...Hey. Where are we right now?"
Van Winkle: "Uhh...on an airship?"
Major: "No, this room. What is this room called?"
Van Winkle: "Flight deck?"
Major: *snickers* "Nooo."
Van Winkle: "Control room?"
Major: *snickers and voice cracks* "Nooooo."
Van Winkle: "Cockpit?"
Major: *bursts into laughter and playfully elbows the Captain* "Oh Gott! I told you I'd get her to say it!" *laughs some more* "Ohh Gott! Alright, go on. Get outta here."