#incorrect marvel posts

[incorrectmarvelkids]

Tony: You're standing on thin ice, mister.

Peter: I'm standing on the floor?

Tony: You know that's not what I-

Peter: It's carpet.

[incorrectmarvelkids]

Peter, tied to a chair: You'll never make me talk.

Bad guy, pulling out a knife: Oh, we have ways of making you talk.

Bad guy: *cuts into a cake*

Peter: Can I... please have some cake?

Bad guy: Cake is for talkers.

(some time later)

Peter, over a mouthful of cake: And I was like, that's really not fair. You can't tell me to work without the suit while you're in your own suit, ya know?

[incorrectmarvelkids]

Tony: Peter... did you stick googly eyes to the Roomba?

Peter: Yeah, Zippy couldn't see so well before.

Tony: Zippy?

Roomba: *normal roomba beeps*

Peter: Oh no, he's hungry again. :(

Tony:

Peter: :(

Tony: *sprinkles crumbs from his pockets*

Peter: :)

[incorrectmarvelkids]

Tony: PETER BENJAMIN PARKER

Peter: oh no

Tony: Why did I find a fake ID in your backpack?

Peter:

Tony: The truth.

Peter: I was... voting

[incorrectmarvelkids]

Tony: What's for dinner, son?

Peter, staring at a pot of burnt pasta: Regretti.

[incorrectmarvelkids]

Tony: Kids... there's something I need to tell you guys. One of you is adopted.

Peter:

Morgan:

Peter: Oh my god, do you mean-

Tony, holding up adoption papers: Welcome to the family, Petey!

[incorrectmarvelkids]

Peter: Look! I invented a new weapon! I call it a knife stick! See, I put a knife on this stick and-

Shuri: Spear.

Peter: Blocked.

[incorrectmarvelkids]

Bad Guy: Okay, Peter, I'm going to give you a choice.

Peter, pointing at Tony: I choose my dad.

Bad Guy: But you haven't even heard my offer.

Peter: Doesn't matter. I choose my dad.

Bad Guy: Are you sure? My offer's pretty sweet.

Peter: Does your offer have my dad in it?

Bad Guy: No, but-

Peter: Then it's not that sweet.

Bad Guy: Won't you just-

Peter: Myyyy daaaaaaaaaddddddd.