Imagine a new non-gothamite villian coming to Gotham and thinking batman's no kill rule will protect him and well
Penguin: wow you've managed to piss off the bat. You're really making a name for yourself huh?
Newbie: what can I say? I get why Gotham harbors all the villains. This is easy
Riddler: ...what
Newbie: I mean the worst that'll happen is I get thrown in jail. I'll just escape too. And batman's not even enhanced is he?
Twoface: No but he doesn't need to be
Newbie: yeah yeah he does a good job but maybe y'all are just not that good. I just had to get the bat mad and it was easy as that
Ivy: what did you say you did again?
Newbie: I kidnapped the commissioner and left him in a random warehouse with a fake bomb
Everyone: ...
Harley: [laughing manically] oh god. This is AMAZING! The newbie has no idea!
Mr. Freeze: oh god you don't just kidnap the commissioner!
Newbie: why not? It got him mad didn't it?
Scarecrow: you never want batman mad
Newbie: you guys are overreacting. He has a no kill rule no?
Twoface: one thing you need to learn about him is that the no kill rule is for himself not you.
Ivy: If you managed to piss him off you will wish he didn't have a no kill rule
Newbie: ...you're serious
Penguin: YES! What did you think? Oh heavens I want no part of this. I can't even say it was nice knowing ya
Riddler: he might be okay. It was a fake bomb. And he didn't do much to the commissioner
Ivy: you didn't do anything else did you
Newbie: ....I mean I did drug robin
Harley: [laughing louder] oh this is gold! Comedy at his highest!
Twoface: yeah he's fucked
Newbie: at least I'll make it out alive right...
Ivy: debatable
Newbie: but batman's no kill rule!
Harley: you didn't just piss off the big bat. You pissed off his entire family! They'll come after you and they don't have the no kill rule like big B
Penguin: who did you drug? Don't tell me it was the kid with the sword
Newbie: ...why
Mr freeze: oh goodness it was the kid with the sword. He's so dead.
Harley: Who do you think will get to him first! The redhood or Nightwing! Wanna place a bet? I say bird boy! He's in town I had tea with him this mornin'
Newbie: wait you had tea wi-
Ivy: my bet is on hood
Penguin: same
Twoface: Wing for me
Mr. Freeze: I say red robin.
Riddler: really? Why
Mr freeze: he'll probably find and handle this before the older two can make a mess of the guy's body
Scarecrow: doesn't wing also not kill?
Harley: he killed the joker!
Ivy: yeah but Bat brought him back and he hasn't killed anyone else has he
Harley: maybe he just likes us?
Twoface: kid's dealt with us since he was 9. He has the patience of a saint
Penguin: no we have the patience of a saint having to deal with him. The amount of puns oh god
Riddler: I kidnapped him once. He wouldn't stop talking. I had to let him go
Ivy: he always-
Newbie: hey guys can we uh get back on topic. What's gonna happen to me?
Penguin: I say pack your bags
Scarecrow: head to metropolis. Work for Luther or some
Twoface: ew. I think he'd be better off in arkham
Mr. Freeze: if he makes it to Arkham
Ivy: I'm heading home. This is tiring
Harley: awww I'm coming too then. This was fun. Hope you make it alive newbie!
Newbie: ...thanks
Twoface: that's not a good thing...making it alive means living to go through whatever they'll do to you
Riddler: I'd rather end up dead
Newbie: Maybe I can-
[Thud]
Twoface: that was faster than expected. Hood's already here
Mr. Freeze: And Wings on the rooftops, he's quieter
Riddler: my devices have been jammed. I guess that counts all three
Newbie: all three? You don't mean...
Penguin: that's my cue I'm out
Everyone: yup
[leaves newbie at mercy of the batfam for hurting their baby]
