"I Won't Leave"
Fanfiction: Homestuck
Karkat x Terezi
It's been three days, and Terezi hasn't come out of her hive even once.
Maybe it's not much of a surprise. What did you expect? That she'd be back to her normal chirpy self right away? She's a tough girl, there's never been any doubt about that, but she's just lost her sight, for fuck's sake.
Your stomach twists uncomfortably. You've only seen Terezi once since it happened, and at that point, she was mute as well as blind. A group of your friends all went to visit her, but she wouldn't say a word, not even to you. And even though you knew she'd just been through hell and would have to cope with it for the rest of her life, that hurt a little. Of course, you'd never admit it.
Today, it's time to try again.
Your own hive isn't far away from hers, so you don't mind walking. It's a trip you've made countless times before. In this aspect, you and Terezi are a lot luckier than, say, Sollux and Aradia, who have a lot more distance between them. But you push these two out of your mind for now. Thinking about what just happened to them might actually make you sick.
Oh, how you'd love to fucking kill Vriska Serket.
She'd gone too far this time. Not that she never had before, but now... Aradia dead, Sollux heartbroken, Tavros paralyzed, and Terezi blind... you pause, genuinely concerned that you might lose your lunch. It only takes you a moment to shake it off, though. You have to keep going. For her.
When Terezi's hive comes into view, you pick up your pace, and you're jogging by the time you reach it. You squint, something jagged catching your eye.
Huh. Looks like she managed to break a window, even in her sightless state. Fucking figures. You'd be amused if you weren't so damn worried.
You don't bother knocking. It's not like she'd respond, anyway. In the interest of not wasting time, you let yourself in, glancing around warily.
It shouldn't come as a surprise that the place is trashed, but you sigh to yourself anyway.
"Terezi?" you call out cautiously. You don't receive an answer. Not that you expected one in the first place. You escort yourself down the hall, knowing it won't take long to find her. Her hive is as familiar to you as your own.
"Terezi, come on." Your voice sounds frustrated even to your own ears. "It's Karkat. It's just me... come on, just talk to me..."
You continue down the hall and turn right, acting on a hunch that proves to be correct. "Terezi," you say again, in relief this time.
She's lying facedown on the couch, a small space next to her head. You go ahead and take a seat there, knowing you won't be issued an invitation.
"Hey," you mutter, reaching out to tentatively stroke her hair. This is a mistake. Terezi lets out a strangled cry and retreats to the other corner of the couch, burying her face in her hands.
"Ah," you whisper. "I... uh, sorry." The pain in your voice is tangible.
Her head lifts up slightly -- not enough for you to see what's left of her eyes, but slightly. Maybe she could sense it, too.
"Karkat?" It's just one hoarse word, but it nearly breaks your heart.
You scoot closer to her carefully, not wanting to startle her. "Hey," you say for the second time. "Yeah... it's me." You hope it's a good sign that she doesn't move away again.
Four more words. "Why are you here?"
You're immediately on the defensive. "I wanted to see if you're okay!"
A small noise escapes her, and she slowly raises her head. You flinch at the sight that meets you, the gaping red holes where her eyes should be.
"Well, that's pretty stupid, don't you think?" Terezi whispers, her voice shaking. It grows in volume as she continues to speak. "Oh, I'm fucking blind, but everything's just fantastic! I've never been better! Now please feel free to leave me the hell alone!"
"You're out of your mind if you think I'm leaving," you tell her bluntly.
"Just get out!" She's practically screaming now. "Don't waste your time pitying the blind girl!" She raises one hand to point to the place where her eyes once were. "But before you go, take a nice fucking look. Actually, take two, because I can't!" Tears are pouring down her face now, though you're not sure how that's possible. You suppose her tearducts are still intact, but it would be insensitive to ask, and there's no doubt that you'll find another way to piss her off instead. Again, that is. You shake your head to clear it.
"You think this is pity?" you should back in disbelief. "You think that's why I'm here? Dammit, Terezi!"
Though you're sure it's a bad idea, you lunge sideways and encase her in your arms. Naturally, she isn't pleased.
"Let go!" she shrieks, struggling violently, but you refuse to budge. Terezi puts up a good fight, but she can't match your strength, and eventually she collapses, sinking into you like it's the most natural thing in the world. Then she really begins to sob, and you pull her in closer.
"Why?" she chokes, burying her face in your chest.
You groan quietly, wanting to be anywhere and nowhere else. It's as if her emotional pain hurts you physically, and you're not quite sure how to handle it.
You also don't know what to do about the crying girl in your arms. You're not exactly experienced with this. But since it's her, you have no choice but to try.
"Why couldn't I fight her off?" Terezi whispers. "Why wasn't I strong enough? All I had to do was not look up..."
You swallow, not used to seeing her show so much vulnerability. It hurts to listen to. You start to shake your head before remembering that she can't see it. "Don't you dare blame yourself," you say sternly. "Dont' even fucking consider it, you got that? It's not your fault."
She reaches up to wipe her face clumsily. "I just... don't understand... why she had to do all this. Not just me. Tavros, Sollux... Aradia..."
You shift subtly so you can get a better look at her. "I'm going to ask you something," you begin slowly, "and I want to you think about it very carefully." Terezi nods, understanding that you're serious. "Do you want me to kill Vriska? Because I'd be really fucking happy to."
It takes her a moment to respond, and you're glad that she isn't immediately dismissive of the offer. Even so, you can guess what her answer will be, and you're right.
"No," she says finally. "No... I don't want her dead." You reach down to take her hand, and she clutches yours tightly. "Say what you will, but I provoked her... blew up that stupid ball right in her fucking face, but only because of what she did to Tavros. And she got me back. Because she's Vriska and that's what she does." Terezi draws a shuddering breath. "But I'm not like her."
This girl never fails to amaze you.
You decide to change the subject, since she's clearly made up her mind. "So... I brought you something."
She frowns. "You did?"
You pull the small case out of your pocket. "It's not much, but..." You trail off and open it for her, removing the object inside. You lift her hand, the one you're already holding, and help her trace the object until she figures out what it is.
"Glasses? Karkat, you know I'm blind, right?"
"I know you don't like the idea of... how it looks now." Fuck, you hope that doesn't offend her.
To your bewilderment, she lifts them up to her nose and inhales. "They... smell good."
You blink once and shake your head, chuckling quietly. "There she is." You can tell she's coming back around already. Confusing you, like always.
It looks like a smile crosses Terezi's face, but you're not completely sure. You help her slide the glasses onto her face and lean back slightly to get a better look. They seem to fit. "How do I look?"
You want to tell her she looks beautiful. Unfortunately, you're also a fucking coward. "You look... like yourself."
She definitely tries to smile this time, but she's having a hard time with it. "Thanks."
"Have you talked to your lusus?" you inquire. Terezi shakes her head. "You really should, you know... maybe she could help you."
She shrugs hopelessly. "She can't give me my sight back... she can't give me the light or the colors... she can't help me see you again."
You flinch, and you're actually glad she can't see it. "Terezi... do you wan't me to stay for a little while?"
You don't expect her to nod, but you're glad when she does. You pull her back into your arms, prepared and willing to stay for as long as she needs you.
You're in no hurry to leave.