#insertcaffeine overnights

[jenthebug]

Sunday is Mother’s Day, and it’s also the day that I need to switch my sleep schedule to days for my interview on Monday morning, and it’s *also* the end of free play weekend at the Japanese arcade bar.

I will be rallying and waking up early (1100?!) to go play video games with Husband, in a very loud and crowded place, because he needs to spend the day having fun.

[jenthebug]

It’s the wee hours of the morning…

(checks time)

…actually it’s the reasonable wake-up hours of the morning (05:14) and I’m still awake (yay) with a fucking migraine (boo).

Luckily, I have pain meditation in my toolkit! https://youtu.be/qMhkN-yVfQc?si=W3MBicd2Rvt0nHnV

(25 minutes later)

I feel a little better. Not all the way better, the ubrelvy hasn’t done its thing yet, but I feel grateful for the heat on my back and understanding of the emotions surrounding my pain.

I doubt I’ll play Mario kart or get my manicure done this morning, but that’s fine.

[jenthebug]

Last night was whatever.

It was busy.

It snowed.

Nothing terrible happened but a few stupid things did.

I cleaned dispatch.

Today, though? OMG. Today is the day before Husband’s surgery. The surgery is at 13:00. We have to be at the surgery center at 11:00, which means leaving at 10:30, which means waking up at 08:30…my bedtime.

I should go to bed at 00:30. And the best way to facilitate that is just to stay up. I might fall asleep for an involuntary nap, but I’m not going to bed.

Maybe when Husband’s out running around, I’ll get him to take me to Dutch Bros. @unic0rnthe0ry and Twin Bro got me a Dutch Bros gift card, I could do a sugar free energy drink.

I really hope the surgery goes well tomorrow. I hope he tolerates it well, I hope it’s not a pain in the ass, I hope the weather cooperates, I hope he stays on top of his pain.

[jenthebug]

It is SO past my bedtime.

Little Bro and I got talking and it was like rolling a ball down a hill. Cars, sports, aging, Christmas, the school bus accident, his kids, weight loss, the YouTube channel …so much talking. I should be so tired and I’m totally not, so I’m winding down and waiting to get tired.

Little Bro is gonna be my on-call dude for Husband on New Year’s Eve. 😮‍💨 It’s not ideal, he’s 45 minutes away (sooner with how he drives, lol hit the VTEC!), but it’s *something.*

I’m home with melatonin on board, hoping to get sleepy soon, but it’s *light!* My soul is rejoicing! My circadian rhythm is trying to reset before my eyes! DAAAAAAAYY

[jenthebug]

Just like my afternoons have a routine, so do my mornings off.

At 0400, the routine starts with an episode of SportsCenter.

(You can tell this is from last season because the Broncos actually made shit happen in the 3rd quarter)

Anyway. Then it’s back downstairs for a can of sparkling water and some mindfulness practice.

(Also, what is with all the weed gifs mixed in with meditation gifs? Weed is for checking out. Meditation is for checking in.)

Also: Journaling.

I have three separate notebooks plus the Finch app, and they all get used. I draw in the drawing journal, write one line in the 5-year diary, brain dump in the blue notebook, and answer prompts with Finch.

Around 0630, I start getting ready for bed: meds, brush teeth, hearing aids out.

I’m usually asleep by 0700.

[jenthebug]

I’ve been so sleepy all night. So many involuntary naps. Eyelids so heavy. It’s been nonstop.

I don’t know why. I got 6 hours of sleep, which isn’t ideal, but that’s how much I got on Monday and I was fine.

I hope I can sleep well today. I better, I work!

I still need to shower. I might go to bed early and do it before work.

Oh, and I got labs drawn today. My cancer markers went down. 😁 I only had to get stuck three times, and the phlebotomists were funny. So that went well.

[jenthebug]

I’m so pissed off at the neighbors.

They’ve been doing yard work, loud yard work with lots of shoveling gravel and yelling, all day.

I’m so tired.

Unfortunately, daytime is a perfectly reasonable time for them to do this, and they have no idea that their next door neighbor is sleeping…but I’m tired and pissed off anyway.

I should stop at the store on the way home and get some earplugs.

[jenthebug]

I checked my schedule last night. I’m not scheduled past 10/19. I know that 10/19 is my last night with my current trainer, she told me, so…what’s next? It’s only been three weeks on nights.

Still, there’s a part of me that is desperately aching to get back to days. I mean, besides my circadian rhythm. I beat that bitch into submission.

Night shift is not my crowd. They are cliquey, negative, and honestly just not much fun to be around. (There’s one exception, but he also works days. Mans is an Overtime Machine!)

Where day shift would crack a joke, night shift nitpicks. Where day shift would poll the room about each other’s astrological signs or show off tattoos, night shift keeps to their own screens. Where day shift would rally around someone suffering after a difficult call, night shift brings up their worst calls.

There’s no singing on night shift.

An emergent return is met with “The crew better not spend too much time at the hospital” on nights, rather than “So you’re saying they’re H-O-T-T-O-G-O?” on days.

And I much prefer Lt Serious and Lt Buddy to Lt Fuckin Joe, who has said two (2) words to me all week.

Anyway, night shift is temporary, and I keep it silly and happy up in my head. I won’t let them get me down!