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re: five things -- skin, oxygen, the ability to reason, a circulatory system, and getting wet without rusting

Those all sound like very human things! That I love being true about my human body.

I've been seeing a lot of discourse floating around tumblr concerning transphobia and sexual attraction. Is it transphobic for one to only be attracted to cis people? If so, wouldn't everyone basically have to be pansexual in order to be respectful? I'm definitely not trolling here, just genuinely curious to hear an informed opinion on the issue.

Hi, this is a super complexquestion, but I’ll try my hand at it.

I DO think it isinherently transphobic (or transmisogynistic) to only be attracted to cispeople, because there is the assumption that all trans people are the same. It’sbased on stereotypes. If you say you’re not attracted to trans peoplecategorically there’s no doubt you’re feeding into this idea that trans peoplecan never be attractive (or we all look a certain way) because we’ll always bedefined by the gender they were before.

It’s messed up to assumewhat anyone has in their pants. I get that is how the world often operates, butthat doesn’t make it right. As thispoint, everyone should know that some people have their birth genitalia, othersdon’t. (I personally don’t care what genitalia a person has, but hey …)

The truth of the matteris people often say they aren’t attracted to trans folk because they aren’tattracted to trans people who don’t pass as cis. (Which is problematic, butthat’s your deal.) The other truth is that some trans people do pass as cis andyou probably wouldn’t ever know they were trans unless they told you or someextreme situation happened.

We also have toacknowledge that if you like your sexual/romantic/whatever interests to look acertain way then consider the cis people who are mistaken as trans. Whathappens to the formula of only going for cis people at that point? (See, it’sfragile.)

It is impossible to notever be attracted to someone who is trans. The thing is we all come indifferent shapes, sizes, expressions … so you’re going to be attracted to sometrans people (whether you know it or not) and some you aren’t. Everyone isentitled to their “preference,” but if you find out someone is trans and thatcompletely changes your idea of them — yeah, chances are you have sometransphobic or transmisogynistic thoughts about trans people that you need toget in check.

The main thing is to berespectful to the trans person in question. If you’re turned off by the factthat they’re trans, then politely decline and keep it moving. Don’t blame themfor not necessarily telling you (it’s not really your business) or be an ass tothem because you made assumptions about who they are. (And CERTAINLY don’tattack them … because if you need any proof of your transphobia/transmisogynythat’s it!)

I know this is all over the place, but it’s a loaded question.

#trans #insightofland #ask