Nov 23, 2020
you know you have severe daddy issues when you start crying because a professor wrote on your exam that you’ve done an excellent job and that your responses are very rewarding for a teacher to hear.......
#every fucking time an older man says he's proud of me#instant breakdown#my entire fucking childhood my dad never said he was proud of me or that he was glad i was doing well#my 14 year old brother FAILED a subject last marking period and my dad#didn't#bat#an#eye#it's just upsetting that i could never please him#i don't forget the shit he's told#me#he's said just discouraging shit from elementary school#nothing else#everything has been hurtful#i dont even tell him that i do well in classes bro he's not gonna care#you should have been there when i told him i was thinking of being a teacher#and how he refused to pay my tuition in the middle of a semester and would only pay if i changed my major#and i was crying my eyes out in front of starbucks and he didn't car#care*#but when my brother FAILS A CLASS AND WILL POSSIBlY HAVE TO REDO 8TH GRADE he's suddenly blind#the validation i get from my professors#especially older men who have hard classes#makes me so sad because i wish it was my dad when i was younger#i'm 20 now so i know my dad won't change but it wont stop me from being angry#i am angry that he treated me like that#im angry that i only feel smart when my professors write 'excellent job' on my exams and papers#they are doing his jon#job*#and this makes me ANGRY#i just want to get back one exam that i dont cry over
