#intox writing

[pingmek]

Its pretty cute to go out for lunch with your friend! Its cute when you cant decide where to go and you can help each other brainstorm. Its cute to split a biiiig margarita at the mexican restaurant, and maybe another one and maybe another one. And maybe one more. And its cute how you both laugh and laugh when you try to find your keys but youre a little too drunk to see into your bag and too drunk to remember you took the bus here. Okay time to get an uber, cuties! Your friend orders the uber while the nice waitress brings you a to go cup for one last margarita. Shes so nice! You wait outside for the uber on the curb, and the two of you finish the margarita quick in case its not allowed in the car.

Your friend is so cute. She keeps saying how cute you are too, and booping your nose with her finger. She goes *boop* and pinches your nipple through your shirt. You squeal in surprise and turn bright red. She whines “sorryyyyy it was juss so boobable *hip* i meann boopable....” and you both laugh. The uber pulls up and you pile inside. The world streams past out the window, and you close your eyes and lean back against the seat. Its so cute that you can go out for lunch and have a bunch of drinks and neither of you mind at all that the other is getting waaay too dizzy and horny to be functioning in public.

When you get back to your friends house you help each other inside. Its so cute how she takes her clothes off when shes this drunk, she can barely do it right, because shes stumbling around and laughing. She staggers over to you, naked, red faced and swaying and pulls up your shirt. “Boooooooop” she says, squeezing one of your breasts in her hand, and pressing her flushed face to the other, tongue lapping at your hard nipple. Your laugh turns into a moan. You sit down on her couch and try to get your balance, but she straddles you and starts twiddling your nipples and groping and playing with your tits until youre both grinding drunkenly on each other, her fully naked, you mostly dressed save for your cute little tits which your cute drunk naked friend is sucking on. How cute :)

[pingmek]

Two eldest daughters from rival business dynasties poised to inherit their fathers businesses. They meet to negotiate how regional territory will be divided up for the next 25 years. As per the families’ 200 year old tradition, the negotiation process starts with splitting a bottle of aged bourbon. Then, while the alcohol puts them in a charitable collaborative mood, they draw up the terms of the deal and sign the documentation ideally before either party passes out or becomes too inebriated to sign their own name.

The two women matched each other shot for shot until the whole bottle was empty on the table between them. Then, they dismissed their assistants and security. No one else in the room with the two of them. This was not usually how things were done.

The two women managed to agree to a 50/50 split of the territory. In the process of their closed door negotiations both women removed all of their clothing for reasons yet known only to them. More on this story as details become available.

[pingmek]

One simply must acknowledge that alice at some point during her travels in wonderland had to have eaten or drank something that shrunk her down so small that she could easily hang out inside of the caterpillar’s opium pipe or one of the red queen’s pieces from her enormous collection of bongs. And of course since its still usable no one minds if theres a tiny naked freeloader stumbling around inside the piece getting herself absolutely blasted on secondhand smoke. And then if the smoke sesh ever gets boring, you can tip her out onto the table and everyone can watch her stumble and crawl around and touch herself.

Also handy to shrink down when theres only a little wine left at a banquet. A swallow becomes an impossiblly large vat. Much easier to enjoy a mad hatter party from inside a wineglass, naked and on all fours sucking from the pool of champagne that bubbles and fizzes around you. Everyone agrees its the perfect amount of mad and hilarious for there to be a two inch tall naked woman drunk out of her mind staggering around on the banquet table. These are just some of the ways a human woman could enjoy what wonderland has to offer.

Please, if you are not yet a human woman like alice, but want to experience what wonderland has to offer feel free to harvest and eat a delicious edible from the Weed Brownie That Makes You A Woman tree.