#intp conversation

[jones-here]

Friend: You are getting older. Maybe it's time you start taking relationships a little more seriously.

Intp: Do you remember how we became friends?

Friend: Uh yeah... I just kept hanging around until you finally admitted we were friends.

Intp: Exactly. And I would probably even cover up a murder for you, so I think our friendship is pretty serious.

Friend: Please don't actually do that... ever. Anyways, yeah we are best friends. That's why I think I should tell you that you need to be serious about dating people.

Intp: Or I can just wait for someone to exhaust me to the point that I give up and we spend the rest of our lives together.

Friend: Nobody has ever described you as a hopeless romantic before, have they?

Intp: Nope.

[murderandmbti]

ENTJ: I will make you feel sorry you were ever born.

INTP: Well, for your information, iam already sorry I was ever born.

[jones-here]

Friend: Amazon Prime can ship me thousands of products to my front door. In two fucking days.

Intp: Technology is great. What's your point?

Friend: It takes you three days to process life events. I can get a set of ninja stars delivered before you process the emotions involved in sharing your Netflix password.

Intp: Do you want ninja stars?

Friend: No, I want my own profile on the Netflix account.

Intp: .....today is a Saturday, and I only process requests on business days.

Friend: Fine.

Intp: I'm going to order some ninja stars.

[jones-here]

Intp: You ever just feel guilty for no reason?

Friend: There's probably a reason then. Are you forgetting something?

Intp: ...Let's take a moment to think about the question you just asked. Do you really think I'd suddenly remember something that I've obviously forgotten?

Friend: Well... do you?

Intp: No I--dammit...

Friend: What is it?

Intp: I was supposed to go to my birthday party.

[jones-here]

INTP in Restaurant

Friend: You are not being subtle. Stop staring!

INTP: Uh, what? What're you talking about?

Friend: You keep checking out everyone that works here. Could you ogle any harder?

INTP: What? I'm trying to figure out what their uniforms say. I think they have pirate pun catch phrases, but this place is a Hawaiian themed restaurant. It's giving very inconsistent messages.

Friend: ........

INTP: Umm, is something wrong?

Friend: You do realize that they're hot, right?

INTP: I'm just saying, don't wear a pun t-shirt if its inconsistent with the theme. Really negates the pun.

[jones-here]

Intp: Pet clothing is truly a genius market. It's where humans have honestly ran out of our own needs and wants, and now must create, not just a valid need, but a perceived desire on behalf of another creature.

Friend: Okay, I see that today is Deep-Thought-INTP. Good morning.

Intp: So, as a species... does this make us narcissistic to believe we know another creature's wants ande develop a human industry to satisfy the said wants? Or are we empathetic, attempting to channel the life and soul of another fellow animal?

Friend: I'm not following anything that you just said, but I'd like to remind you that your dog wears a coat.

Intp: He needed it. It was -50F. He would have died.

Friend: You bought him two.

Intp: The plaid red fit better and is quilted. The blue one is waterproof.

Friend: Fine, I'll give you that.

Intp: Exactly. So as I was saying--

Friend: But what about the checkered bowtie for your cat?

Intp: Leonardo is a gentleman and a scholar! That bowtie does not need to be explained!

Friend: Whew... finally! Your Deep-Thought self is so angsty. Glad to have broken that mood.

Intp: ...I'm putting catnip in your drawers.

[jones-here]

Friend: Is something wrong?

Intp: What? Of course not.

Friend: Are you sure? You're acting weird.

Intp: Maybe i'm just weird.

Friend: Yeah, but I mean weirder than usual. Like, you look like you might die. Have you eaten?

Intp: Yes.

Friend: Did you sleep?

Intp: Also yes. This is stupid.

Friend: Did you drink water?

Intp: .....

Friend: What about yesterday?

Intp: ...I...I'll be right back.

[jones-here]

Friend: Go flirt with her. She's totally cute.

Intp: Who?

Friend: Her.

Intp: Who??

Friend: Her!

Intp: Oh! That girl. Gotcha.

Friend: Well, what are you waiting for?

Intp: I gotta think of a good pun first.

Friend: Please... just please don't.

Intp: Then stop making me flirt with people. You know that shit don't end well.