Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, wakes up even more lazily than you in the mornings—and you can't quite figure out how that happens. You might start wondering if he's somehow related to sloths.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, keeps pulling the same excuse for every strange thing he does "Getting used to you weak ones is very difficult."
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, comes shopping with you in a grumpy mood—while giving every person who walks past the strangest looks imaginable, staring at them until they're completely out of sight.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, still hasn't figured out how weaker people end up getting the front of the line. Never—absolutely never—ask him to hold a spot in line for you. "Nolan, can u hold our place in line?" While you're picking up another box of cereal and examining it, he says, "Yeah I'll handle it." You watch in horror as he walks toward the line—and before even reaching the very front, he rips off the head of the man standing there and throws it at the others like a ball, with deadly force. After that, you had to run. And you might have thrown up quite a lot too. Which made him think you were pregnant.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, keeps up with your endless demands nonstop. To an extremely annoying degree. You'll try to find a reason to get mad at him, but before you can even continue, he'll already fix the problem. "Damn it Nolan, what are these stains on the carpet!?" With a neutral expression, he'll tilt his head slightly toward the carpet—then in the next second he's moving right in front of your eyes, already holding a brush and before you can even close your mouth in surprise, the carpet is completely clean.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, will take care of the baby during the nights and early mornings instead of you. Afterwards, he'll complain about how tired he is—just so you'll give him some attention. (Honestly this might a bit more for women but you could have get the baby in other ways too. I'll leave it to your imagination.)
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, even tries to steal the baby's attention time. "Nolan, cut it out—you two aren't even on the same level." As you try to get past his body to pick the baby up from the bed, he keeps stepping in your way, mimicking your movements and blocking you. "As long as it's cared for enough to survive, the rest doesn't really matter." he insists. According to him, no one dies from a lack of affection. But at the end of the day, the one who's actually needy for your affection is him.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, turns the playful ass slapping you started into a full on competition. Whether you're doing chores, walking outside, passing by him or lying down in bed—everywhere, that hand will land at least once, smacking you hard enough to make your flesh jiggle.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, reads travel magazines to learn the meaning and usefulness of different places—so that every night, he can take you somewhere new and romantic.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, almost blew the brains out of the person in front of him just because they argued with you.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, will read the books you're reading—even if he's not actually interested in them. While doing it, he'll complain that it isn't worth his time and that he could be doing far more important things, but he'll still keep going. Then he'll come back to you with criticisms about the ending of the book, and the two of you will end up talking about it.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, offers to carry you in his arms whether you can fly or not. Your body warmth and knowing you're in his arms—helps calm the nerves that are constantly on edge.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, once made you soup using a nicely packaged laundry detergent he found in the bathroom—just because your food smelled good while you were cooking. Thankfully, you didn't die.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, can't stand your family but because you told him you'd reward him, he'll behave with respect, as if a Viltrumite commander were standing right in front of him.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, buried your neighbor's head in the garden soil like an ostrich—just because they asked if you needed help because of Nolan..
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, will join you if you offer while you're doing housework—and then complain that you're not doing it correctly. Even though he has no idea himself. And no, he refuses to admit that.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, is quite selfish and deeply loyal to his ideals—so whenever arguments break out, he"s gotten into the habit of ending them with his charm when it comes to you.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, will shamelessly open the door and walk right in while you're in the bathroom or on the toilet.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, almost drowned you in the bubbly water while washing your hair during a bath you were taking together. It might have traumatically reminded you of how your mother used to wash you when you were a kid. "I was just curious how long you could hold your breath," he said in defense after dunking your head down like a bucket and keeping it there until your air ran out. In reality, he wants to take you back to his home world, so he wanted to learn how long you could hold your breath…
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, doesn't understand money or the concept of buying things. He just picks up whatever he wants and walks off as if everything is free. And you end up trying your best to protect the poor shopkeepers who attempt to stop him—from everything except the deadly glare he's throwing at them behind your back.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, absolutely loves discount days like an old lady. It's the perfect time for him to lightly smack someone and get away with it without anyone holding him accountable. In that kind of crowd, you probably wouldn't even notice.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, keeps thinking that the fabrics in the human world don't even deserve your beauty. He'll watch with great interest and curiosity as you show off every outfit you try on, almost like you're putting on a little performance just for him.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, has broken so many beds with you that he can now find the furniture company's address with his eyes closed. They probably see you two more often than they see their own families. "How are you even still alive?" That's what you heard while signing the document they handed you, just before the employee pulled his hat down even lower over his head.
Nolan, the husband you half-reluctantly married, is so competitive in board games that he could drive a person insane. "No, you can't arrange the damn cards in numerical order and throw them down all at once!" He stubbornly pushes the cards you shoved aside back to the center, a ridiculous frown on his face. "Yes, I can. They're all the same color. The rules say so. Don't be rebellious.", "I'm not being rebellious, Nolan! And do you realize you read the rules wrong-" "You must obey the rules, Y/n." You grimace at the military look he throws at you. Your hands move in the air awkwardly, not even sure what to do with them. "You…fine then, Mr. Know It All Frowny Face. Tell me, why exactly did you make a move like that?" His expression softens, as if he thinks you've already accepted your mistake. He waves his hand knowingly in the air. "Obviously according to military order. They're all the same color, can't you see? Soldiers are like that too." 1, 2, 3, 4...you stare at all the red cards with tired frustration. You really wanted to slap this guy. And yet even though you know every game will end like this, you're always the one who suggests bringing out the board games. Because you've seen that pure, beautiful emotion in his eyes and at the corners of his lips.
