Bone - When was the first time you ever witnessed death? How did it impact you?
“Death...” Evangeline said wistfully, glancing out of the window of the old Ishgardian church she had just settled down in. “It’s been a constant, honestly, for years now. Ever since I left home...I suppose I had almost forgotten the first time it darkened my doorstep.” She looked over to the other occupant of the church.
“Well, we have the time, don’t we?”
They certainly did. The snow in Ishgard was unlike anything that Eva had experienced before, and she certainly hadn’t expected to spend the day snowed into a crafty old church, but here she was. Or rather, here they were.
“Very well then. The first time I saw death came at the hands of the Garlean empire, like so many unfortunate others. I grew up in Dalmasca, in the Royal City of Rabanastre. You may be able to guess by my accent, but my step-mother’s family interacted with the wealthier social circles in the city. As a proper young lady, death was not something that even crossed my mind growing up.” She sighed, twirling a lock of her long, red hair around her index finger.
“Twelve. Twelve peaceful years. That’s what I got. One for each god, and then it was ripped away from me. My family, my home, leaving me a refugee with only my mother and stepmother to guide me. I lost much less than others, of that I am fully aware. I came away with something. With my parents, no less.” Her hand closed into a fist around the lock of hair.
“That doesn’t mean I didn’t lose anything, though. That doesn’t mean that seeing my uncle split in half in front of me counts for nothing. That doesn’t mean that I don’t think about standing there, stock still, covered in his blood, every night.” Her fist was now clenched so tightly that it was shaking, her teeth gritted. She seethed with a cold, restrained fury living just beneath the surface. She regained her composure, however. Righted herself, and released a shaky sigh, sitting up straight.
“I apologise for my lack of decorum.” She paused, ruminating momentarily.
“As for your other question, I would say that it affected me in many ways. It made me realise that I can’t save everyone. It made me angry. I hated Garlemald for the longest time. Frankly, I still do. But it also took me to a new home. A family I found and chose. Friends. Adventure. And of course...more death.” She looked down, losing herself in thought again briefly, her eyes focused on something that wasn’t quite there.
“I have come to accept that I cannot escape death. In my line of work it follows me wherever I go. I will ensure...that it will not find my friends. My family. My lovers. Not until it is their time. But it will come for me. And I will be waiting with open arms.” She grinned.
“How about you, then, stranger? There is still time yet before this wretched blizzard breaks. Spin me a tale of your own.”
“The next knight who bears steel, I'm not only going to kill him, but I'm going to kill his wife, his friends, and burn his godsdamned house down! ”
- Fray,Level 30
“One foot...in front of the other...over and over again...
To the ends of the world...and back again...
And if time has no end...still forward and onward...over and over again... “
- Level 35 quest
The cold winter air bit at Evangeline’s exposed cheeks, sending yet another shiver deep through her body. Her teeth were chattering such that she felt they might break. Long had she been used to warmer climes than these-growing up in Rabanastre’s sweltering heat hadn’t prepared her for the bone chilling winds that swept through the pale stone streets of Ishgard. Times like these made her miss Ul’Dah all the more, traitors and all. Eva quickly tried to press the thought to the back of her mind. Thinking about this would only lead her to remembering everything in the little box she kept in the locked room in the darkest corner of her mind: the one that contained everything about the sacrifice and disappearance of her friends, the untimely death of Nanamo, and her exile. The box had to stay locked. Shut tight. Inaccessible. Evangeline was the Warrior of Light, the light in the darkness, the hope in everyone’s hearts when there was nothing else. She had to put on a brave face, despite how her thoughts would flit back to Y’shtola more than anything else. There was hope to find her, at least. Right?
Eva would be heartbroken if anything happened to any of her friends, but there was one among them she truly couldn’t bear losing. Shtola had been there with her through so many of her trials, and they had grown close to the point at which Eva had developed some...confusing feelings about her.
Please let there be hope to find her.
Please. At least her.
Please.
“Pull yourself together, Eva....” she muttered to herself, wiping half frozen tears from her cheeks, and frost from her eyelids. She breathed out an exasperated sigh, her breath forming into a visible vapour before her; a swirling mist of frustration that dissipated as soon as it had come into existence.
She still had Solenna. She reminded herself of that almost constantly, ever since everything had gone to shit. They had propped each other up, barely weathering the storm of emotion brought on by the betrayal at Ul’Dah. It was as if they were two saplings caught in a maelstrom, only hanging on to the ground because their roots had grown so close together. Even now, days after the incident, after speaking with Aymeric about the next step in their plan, the two had retired to their room to hold each other as if they were the only two left in the world. In a lot of ways, it felt like they were.
This, however, was when things had gone in a direction Evangeline hadn’t quite expected.
“I can’t stop thinking about them. About what happened. We need to go back, do something.” Solenna whispered, her face buried in Eva’s shoulder.
Eva stroked Sol’s hair, gently holding the Mi’qote girl close to her. “I agree. We could be in the thick of this, trying to find everyone, fighting back. But instead we’re malms away, hiding like rats. It’s infuriating. But we have to abide by Aymeric’s plan for now-if only to keep him as an ally,” Eva said. Solenna huffed angrily into the soft cloth of Eva’s shirt.
“I understand. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“I know,” Eva said, clasping Solenna to her chest. “It feels like I’m out of tears at this point. I’m so tired of crying...of thinking of them.”
Solenna looked up at Eva. “Maybe we… You know, shouldn’t, then?” She touched Eva’s face, tracing her cheekbone up to her eyebrows, which turned up slightly in confusion. “Like, maybe we need to get our minds off it. Like a bit of a distraction?” Solenna gently took Eva’s face in her hands and kissed her on the lips. At first, a peck, grazing softly, but quickly turning into their mouths melting together in a deep kiss; sloppy due mostly to Evangeline’s inexperience, but fiery and passionate nonetheless. Solenna gripped at Eva’s back, pulling her deeper into the kiss as her tongue explored the inside of Eva’s mouth, experimenting with her response. Evangeline twined her fingers into Solenna’s hair, delicately pulling at it as she held Solenna’s waist; and she pulled back slightly, teasing Solenna and causing her to move and shift, straddling Evangeline and grasping at her, her hands moving from cloth to bare skin.
Evangeline had never been with a woman before. Her time had always been so consumed by her work, her parents, battle and training that she had barely put a thought towards a relationship outside of a few poorly thought out flings with one or two of the older teenage boys she had known living with her parents in Gridania. Nothing she had even dreamed of could possibly even compare to this. Her thoughts of Y’shtola fled her mind, her anything and everything consumed with Solenna; her soft, delicate hands, her full lips, the heat that radiated from every pore of her being. Evangeline could feel her heartbeat thudding in her ears and-
“Maybe we need a distraction.”
“-A distraction.”
She pulled back. Ending the kiss felt like cutting off her own arm at this point. Cutting herself off from the stream of life force that kept her animated. Solenna rocked back and looked up at her, big beautiful cat eyes trained on Evangeline’s face, searching for understanding.
“Eva?”
Evangeline shifted, moving Solenna off her lap easily with arms toned by years of combat. She stood up.
“I don’t want us to just be a distraction. I want to mean more than that to you.” Evangeline said, her eyes fixed on the floor. She knew that if she looked at Solenna right now she wouldn’t be able to stop from falling back into her arms.
“I’m going to take a walk. I need to...process. I’m sorry.” She stood, moving to the door and pulling a coat from the rack. She couldn’t dare look back at Solenna as she heard her call, “No! That’s not what I meant! I just-“ her words were cut short as Evangeline walked out the door, shutting it behind her.
This was what had landed Evangeline out in the cold. Her own stupid pride, her own damnable desperation to be the most important figure in everyone else’s life. So what if Solenna needed a distraction? So what if it took the form of Evangeline? They didn’t have to be a real couple right now. This wasn’t the time to force the start to a relationship. Even so, what if she had misinterpreted? What if Solenna really wanted more than just meaningless sex right now? The intrusive thoughts grew so loud, so prevalent that Evangeline didn’t notice the unmoving form huddled at the foot of the stairs in the mouth of the Brume until she nearly tripped over it.
“Ah-excuse me!” She said, looking down at the mass of Armor and rags beneath her feet. She received no response. It was a cold night...she should check on whoever this was.
Evangeline knelt down by the figure, shaking at their shoulder in an attempt to rouse them. Once again, no response...but from the figures pocket fell a small red gem. Evangeline leaned down to look at it, plucking it from the ground to study it closer. As her bare hand touched the crystal she immediately felt an outpouring of power twisting and writhing around her, permeating her skin and flowing through her. She started and moved to jump back, but dark fingers encompassed her wrist as the pile of rags and Armor seemed to animate, moving forward into a sitting position. Evangeline let out a yelp of surprise.
“Stay your fears and calm yourself. I am no monster, and I will not harm you. My name is Fray.” The figures voice was deep, but Evangeline couldn’t be sure of their gender. Upon closer inspection, their mannerisms and form appeared more feminine. Nothing more could be gleaned, however, thanks to the full helmet covering Fray’s entire face, the slit revealing only two eyes shrouded in darkness.
“Who are you, and what is this? What is this gem, and what manner of power resides within it?” Evangeline asked, the words tumbling out of her mouth faster than she expected.
“Ah. I see you have found resonance with the soul of the Dark Knight. ‘Tis a path that not many would wish to walk.” Fray tilted their head, looking about as if they noticed something. “But I see that we won’t have much time to discuss that now.” They looked to the large greatsword laying by their feet. “Take up this sword. It may aid in giving you the answers you need.” Fray stood, dusting themselves off. “And attend to your woman. You have wronged her, and misunderstood her intent . You need her just as she needs you. Weather the oncoming storm with her at your side.” Fray turned to leave, moving up the steps towards the inn. “Meet me here in two days time. We have much to discuss.” Evangeline moved towards him, intent to ask more questions, but a voice caught her ear before she could.
“Eva!” She turned her head to see Solenna running towards her, still in her nightclothes. Gasping for breath, she could barely get words out. “Ran all over looking… You’re not...a distraction...you’re more than that...to me. I’ve been...I’ve wanted, you know,” she gestured between them “this, for...for a long time.”
Without a word, Evangeline drew her into a hug. She looked down to the Mi’qote girl, her cheeks flushed red from the cold, and smiled. “I’m so sorry, Sol. You didn’t deserve what I said. I care for you so deeply, and I know you care for me. I shouldn’t have made any assumptions.”
Solenna looked up to her, a grin spreading across her face. She squeezed Evangeline once, her eyes sparkling. “Should we pick up where we left off?”
Evangeline flushed heavily, most certainly not because of the cold. “Perhaps we should get inside first.” And removed her coat, draping it around Solenna. She shivered as the cold air blasted across her skin. “Sooner rather than later, if you don’t mind.”
Solenna pulled at her arm, walking quickly towards the room they shared at House Fortemps. “Sooner sounds like an excellent idea.” She said, as the two of them disappeared into the dark Ishgardian night.
