I wanted to put a video on in the background and draw but I decided to give nrb blood on the clocktower a real shot and oh god oh fuck my brain I'm trying soooo hard to pay attention and keep up how do people do this.

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I wanted to put a video on in the background and draw but I decided to give nrb blood on the clocktower a real shot and oh god oh fuck my brain I'm trying soooo hard to pay attention and keep up how do people do this.
I need more sub scenerios where I'm FORCED into submission, where I just let go 😔
I'm so tired of being afraid to articulate my feelings directly to people
my mental illness got me in a constant tug of war between “lmao I’m sick I don’t care” and “sITUATION NORMAL I AM A NORMAL HUMAN BEING SEE ME SMILING DEPRESSION WHO”