#it's nine.

[5s-missing-eye]

Do I even need to say who

[the-knights-who-say-book]

[clicks on goodreads to see how many books i’m in the middle of]

[IMMEDIATLY clicks away from that information]

[orecxl]

When the sun has set and you still see the rays of sunshine, do you also think of those rays traveling through space towards the planet or meteor in range? As it's passing through, do you think of that light being elsewhere form here? Because I do.

Better try to pray first before because that'll help with the negative thoughts. 

It's almost been a month and I'm still having this feeling. I don't know what this feeling even is. It exhausts me. It makes me feel so sad about myself. It makes me feel useless and pathetic.

I have no motivation and I basically feel like I'm waiting to die. Death is a lot more on my mind than it use to be. It use to be just something that is going to happen to my body eventually but now I just want it to happen because of these feelings. 

I feel like poop all the time. My emotions frighten me. I don't know who else to go to but Yahuah. Which is enough for me. But it scares me when people ask how I'm doing or what's going on. ABSLDKFJAEW;F.  

Whatever is going on inside my noggin is messed up and I'm pretty sure no one wants to hear about it. I don't want to hear about it. 

The root of the problem: me. 

I think I better make some goals and get things organized again.  

I'll start again. From scratch like I did before.  Problems have solutions. Feelings are temporary. etc

I really feel like I have to engrave all these things into my heart so I can remember. 

I just have to remember and act on it. Meditate on it. 

Growing up is difficult. All these obstacles and responsibilities. I don't know what I'm doing half the time and blah blah blah. Rant rant rant.

It'll be alright. can't have the highs without the  lows.  or whatever.