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I’ve always wondered how I can have social anxiety sometimes and yet, completely forget that I do when I help someone else with it.

#real life bullshittery #i always say i help others better than myself #it's odd though #how i can forget about it so easily when i see someone else dealing with it #i wonder why it works that way

you ever love your friends so much that you eventually listen to songs that make you feel calm and have some really emotional and positive lyrics and then you gradually associate said song with said person because they remind you of them each time you listen to it?

the same thing about characters too, like there are characters that are seen as having an incredibly positive impact on another character's life and are generally a pretty nice and likable character and you also associate them with that character (bonus points if that same character happens to be their favorite character)

the fuck is this

but also like

this is p chill and nice tbh

#What a queuetie pie #Personal #is that normal #or should i really step back a bit and calm the fuck down XDD #it's odd though #we don't even get to talk that much #and i'd usually feel really horrible about that but i feel fine because i feel like we could just end up not talking about anything really #and we'd still enjoy each other's company #like compared to a lot of the relationships i've had so far in life #i feel the least pressured stressed and worried about this one????#idk man #i'm gushing again agh #i feel like an idiot XDD #also if you're going to pull that 'you're in love romantically and in denial' as an answer i'm going to just ignore that eve #because haha s t o p right there #that's not it #i just feel really calm whenever i'm with them and i feel a lot calmer whenever i think about them too???#like if i'm in a bad mood and i think of them my anger/sadness just goes away and suddenly i'm fine e-e #like sometimes i can think of my other friends whenever i'm upset and i feel a bit better but with this person #it's like the bad thoughts and feelings completely goes away???#iS THAT EVEN HEALTHY??? HOLY FUCK #SHUTUPPANNA #and i wish i can talk to them about it because i don't want to make things weird and awkward #(even though they've been nothing but accepting and understanding ever since)#and i want to let them know that i'm really grateful they're here and that they probably wouldn't like my taste in music but #there are these songs i associate with them and characters too??#bUT I'VE ALREADY SAID I APPRECIATE THEIR EXISTENCE SO MANY TIMES ALREADY #SO I KEEP GOING BACK AND FORTH SAYING 'PANNA YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN' TO 'PANNA YOU NEED TO SAY SOMETHING THAT'S JUST WEIRD'#AND I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE DXXXXX #anyway sorry for rambling ovo''''

a lot of the songs i've downloaded have the lyric "through the tears" or "through the pain" or something like that in them which is odd because i've downloaded most of these songs because they remind me of my favorite characters

#but mostly because i like how they sound #most of my favorite characters are villains who have had something horrible happen to them and also done horrible things #so i guess these lyrics are applicable #it's odd though

The media suddenly seems to be taking an interest in Joshifer?

#Yoga breathing yoga breathing...#I'll just sit here and scream internally all the while trying to remain patient #It's odd though #The media has never mentioned Joshifer like this before #*Rumored real life love*#*Is Josh Hutcherson next?*#Like WHAT #Like someone said earlier I hope this isn't just some kind of promo thing...#It's just really interesting regardless #Joshifer

If I were to see someone fall from a building, no matter the height, intention or certainty of death, I think I would try to catch them anyway, no I would do it instinctively, even when I see it on GIFs; I feel the need to catch them..

#personal #It's odd though #'cause if anyone were to try and catch me when it's my turn #I would be furious

I'm working on this weird modern!au thing and it might be done later today or whenever I wake up idk (my sleeping habits are appalling, it's 3:20 am)

#darling pan #Idk I like it so far #it's odd though

my dad's name is steve but his real name is estavon idk i don't think it's spelled like that but it makes me laugh every time.

#i mean it says steve on his license #but omg #it's odd though #he's purebread hungarian #nothing else #lkdfmlkdfblkmsdfb?????#idk what this is all about i'm bored okay goodnight #diary of a homeschooled kid

is it weird that i'm creeping in the aaron tveit tag, stroking the screen and whispering soon

#FINALLY LES MIS ON SATURDAY #it's odd though #he's not even my type at all?#but his face

#it's odd though

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