#its ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

In the Land Of Dreams

There's a land in my dreams where you are still alive. You still talk to me, I hug you to sleep. But the dream ends and I am forced to hear Truth. Truth is unkind you know? It is just, fair. Hope and truth in my eyes are at war you see. Whoever made Truth right, must have been blind

In the land of those who hope, the sky is pink. The fields are filled. The scene is euphoric. Every one is happy. But it is a land of dreams and dreams often end surprisingly. You came in my dream last night. A phantom touch and you were gone. The night is kind to dreamers.

You won't be here tomorrow morning I know. You are my dream. I wish you were not. Fate is a cruel mistress. Beyond the pink skies and crimson rivers, I meet you every night in my land of dreams and I hope wherever you are you can dream too.

By @theloudestwomanyoulleversee

Pic credit- @its-ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Beyond the Looking Glass

Sometimes I just want to go anywhere

Just anywhere,

And float on a cloud,

With the earth there on the ground,

And get lost in the stars,

Way beyond the dark,

And touch something hopeful?

May be the moon,

Then you'd call,

But I won't be there,

Cause I will have reached the stars by then,

May be it's wishful thinking,

But God if I could I would go anywhere,

Just anywhere.

And float with the pebbles,

Deep in golden waters,

Warming my soul with the warmth it always longed for,

And get lost in the narrowed streams

the translucent shores,

a thin silhouette to cross

and i'll be in abyss

then you'd call

but i wont be there

maybe i never was here.

There's a little space there in between the cracks

From where the light comes,

Is it wonderland?

I could join Lucy where the adventure lies

Or may be join a camp with a Centaur

Or maybe run away and hide,

In a forest where the lovers lie,

I could be free, and distant,

Alone and isolated

In a place where I can breathe,

Playing hide and seek,

My happiness, my darkness

And there's a little space there in between,

A light shines.

~By @its-ener and @theloudestwomanyoulleversee

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Dear college me,

I hope your college expectations are meeting the college reality. All the late-night walks, discussion of Indian geopolitics at ‘Sudama chai’, mass bunks, college fests giving you the thrill and the initial sense of freedom. The laid-back attitude of missing assignment deadlines and watching YouTube videos at 2x speed before the test is pretty new to you. Your freedom is no longer controlled by your school time tables. There is however one quote by Charles Kingsley that I want you to write on a sticky note and place it in your room, “There are two freedoms- the false, where a man is free to do what he likes; the true, where he is free to do what he ought”

College life is fun and carefree till you realise there is just six months to your graduation and all the promises you made to that 15-year-old self in class 9th are waving at you from the corner. Time passes way too quickly and is cruel enough to not heed to anyone’s last moment pleads.

You want to study, you want to make friends, you want to feel happy and proud, you want to experience the silly little college love life. You want to make your parents proud. Staying up till 5 in the morning completing an assignment that was due two weeks prior is not the way to achieve it. Skipping breakfast, replacing fruits with McDonald’s isn’t either. You’re on your own kid, you’ve got to navigate a ‘healthy way’ out.

I know you have come across people who would influence you, but remember the ground you stand on. Do not let people sway your principles. If you are wrong, accept it, if they are wrong, do not become like them. Stay in touch with your family, they are yours after all. At the end of your graduation, it would be you holding the degree and it would give you the power to choose your future. Such a wonderful authority to possess. You are the captain of your life, makes life pretty interesting to live? Doesn’t it?

Be honest with yourself. Dream. Live that dream. Gain experiences. Attend events, meet all kinds of intriguing creatures, attend boring college speeches, scroll through Slick app but manage your time wisely.

You’re at a very fragile, gullible age, your mind is like soft clay and it could be moulded into any shape. It could be ‘mud’ or a ‘masterpiece’, the sculpting is in your hands. Speak to your professors, your elders, respect their opinions, go to the person you believe in the most and speak your heart out. Trust the right people.

Over the course of your college life, it is very natural if you feel your interests are oscillating. The very firm belief you had is gradually fading away. Do not be scared, you are just navigating through life and all its possibilities. You are just a human being. I want you to always remember that it is okay to be lost but it is equally important to be found. Believe in yourself. You are ‘you’ for a reason.

Ah, you might be getting late for your class now, I’ll conclude this by saying, you’re good. Now go ahead and grab that cup of coffee with your friends and remember to carry your notebooks. You’ve always been the forgetful kind.

And no matter what you become, what title you have before your name, hopefully ‘doctor’, first and foremost, be a good human being. That is what matters to you, I know that.

Yours lovingly,

Philosophical me.

~By @its-ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Time

On the left turn there, is the park where you used to play when you were 5,

And the pretty lady you said that you wanted to be like at 7, your aunt tells you died yesterday night.

Ground under your feet you would ask your mother to push the swing a little harder,

And when it would swing higher you would tell her that you almost touched the sun that day.

When you were 10 your teacher taught you that the clouds are not chasing you rather you are chasing them,

And you remember complaining to your father that your teacher has gone mad.

You can't remember who your best friend was at 6 but you remember a sunny day running crazily on the beach holding hands with another person and making promises of falling into wonderland together.

And you are so different yet the same as you were at 17 now at 22,

It's a different country but past doesn't feel like a burden anymore.

No one taps your back when you are alive another day,

No one asks whether have you eaten today.

But the water is still as blue as it was on that summer day,

And little children still run away from the waves,

Even if you don't know anything as much as you did back in highschool,

The clouds still follow you back as you drive from work,

And the sun feels closer when you are sitting on a flight back home.

By @theloudestwomanyoulleversee

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Murder on the Silverpilen

Stay, Stay, stay, Strong whispers in my ears, Hands on my throat, But the train approaches, It has my name on it. And my throat slits, Blood drooping through the veins, My words curl into nightmares, You just stand there and stare. Stab, stab, stab, A dagger in my stomach, My knees weak, I fall, My hands reach out to you in the dark, The ghosts of my past.

I run, run, run, But I don't move, The shadows confine me to my room, It's dust, it's dark, it's maroon, It's love and desire melted into gloom. Cry, cry, cry, Gusts of winds waving me goodbye, Handcuffs on my arms, But there goes the alarm. Those eyes, those eyes, God please don't give me those eyes, Please don't say whatever you wish to, Cause I already know, And there's nothing that can change us now. My love, my love, my love, It has no bounds, But sometimes it's not enough, Let me go I am going crazy here. A mad, mad, mad woman, That's all they call me, Put me out of my misery, All my fault was that I loved thee. Stay, stay, stay, Soft words in my ears, Thunderstorm in my heart, The train's leaving ahead, I'm falling behind, I'm just a young woman losing her mind. Pain, pain, pain, It burns my soul, My love was once a paradise, It's eating me like parasite, The ghosts of our past waltz in my dreams, I see a fading us through the seams.

By @theloudestwomanyoulleversee and @its-ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Merry Christmas!

The evening turned a little misty today, it almost hinted the subtle arrival of the sleigh. I see yellow lights, on Christmas trees playing hide and seek through the window panes. The gingerbread man witnesses me almost burning my roasted marshmallows, while I struggle with the last few dishes in my kitchen sink. The sound of carols fade at a distance, soon the church bells would break this stillness.

I go over to my bed, ready to watch all parts of The Christmas Prince in succession, munching on my almost perfectly cooked noodles. Richard and Amber finally kiss as the clock strikes 12. I look over and the whole city is covered in snow. Heaven peeps in to sparkling the streets and once again, it’s Christmas magic all over again.

The cold itself shivers at one glance of the fire place and I walk up to my red and golden Christmas tree, the star on it shines brightly. Its got pieces of my family and friends hung all over it. Her card, his locket, his origami swan… they all reflect parts of me.

The old couple in the next room waltz to “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire” and I feel my lips curling into a smile. ‘The season of love’ they say.

The night darkens and morning comes as day dreams, peeking through the fog wrapped seams. The room is still masked in the aroma of chocolate chip cookies, and I upturn my wardrobe looking for my elite ugly Christmas sweater.

I step out of my house, snowflakes on my cheeks, while that sweet lady from the corner coffee shop hands me an extra brownie… “in the name of the Holiday Spirit”, she says, “and also, I love your sweater”

By @its-ener

[as-spring-came-in-october]

Somewhere Only We Know

When I was a girl the green field outside my house was the largest thing to ever exist. I hated it, afraid if I wandered too far, I'll never find home. Ever wondered if you find what you're looking for will it be enough? Do you see them in the faces of the people you meet? I sometimes see you in the eyes of strangers I find. Strange isn't it? How every emotion you ever feel isn't just yours? How the world didn't stop for your Grief? You are suddenly a woman and you find that Grief isn't loyal. It's not just yours. It's theirs too and suddenly the world isn't as huge as the green field anymore. I don't find you in a strange place. I carry you everywhere in my words, in my laughs and in every wishing star.

But wishes aren't loyal either. What I longed for has already been granted to somebody else, and now I just sit here, at the gates of this not so large garden with all the other people who wanted you. Maybe more than I ever would. Maybe life isn't as long as I misjudged it to be? Maybe happiness is more sacred than the allegiance we pay to fear

By @its-ener & @theloudestwomanyoulleversee

[as-spring-came-in-october]

A Past Never Lived....

One mask, And it shreds to pieces, Drawers open, closets filled, You'll just put on another. And in between those infinite hiding places, I saw a glimpse of you, And as a kiss stolen from time, I loved you. And in that one moment, I knew you loved me too, Even as a dream, or an afterthought, You thought of me too. Somewhere, lost in translation, Between the "hey, can I talk to you" And "I don't want you to text me now" Lives a past I never lived...

Tangled in this mess of endless contradictions, Balancing between what is and what could have been, Lost like a star in a galaxy, You became my supernova Glances concealed, words unspoken, feelings unfelt, In a part of you, wrapped like a present, Are all my mistakes and all my worries And now you gift them back to me. A red light, a stop sign, And I turn back, To the crossroads where we hadn't crossed each other yet, To a me who hadn't met you yet, To a past I hadn't lived But the clock strikes differently now. Among all your defences I fell for the one you didn't love.

By @its-ener