I just completed watching spn. This last week I avoided it, cuz tumblr n pinterest and everything internet already did spoil the ending yk the edits. I stopped after s15 ep13. I knew I was gonna cry...I just didn’t know how much.
I knew what to expect and yet didn't know what to expect.
And it's not fair is it. Sam had to go through it again, losing Dean again and again. Carry his body, give him a funeral. I hated it.
I hated that even in ep 18 Dean said Jack is not family. I hate how destiel ended. They said that Cas is in heaven. But they didn't show em. They didn't shoe Cas and Dean interacting. Covid yeah I get it. Lockdown and shit sure but just...
And God I wanna punch chuck in his bloody face so bad. Pun intended.
And Billie; I hated her from the start.
The parallel between Dean dying and Sam saying it's okay you can go now; holding Dean's hand and then Dean covering Sam’s with his own and Sam's death , his son, saying the same it just, it just broke me.
Dean saying he was scared of Sam turning him away when he came to Stanford, it broke me.
Saying he always looked up to him. He loved him. He is proud of him. His baby brother. It broke me
Dean going down swinging, saving ppl hunting things, yeah it broke me too. He went the way he wanted to go. Sam got the life he wanted.
Dean saying I love this song, driving listening to Carry on My Wayward Son.
And what abt the apocalypse world ppl? Did Jack bring them back too?? I'm gonna assume he did and live my life.
And guys, Sastiel are Jack's parent. Yeah destiel.fics are grt and all. I love them too. But Sam is Jack's parent. Even before Jack got the chance to meet Cas, it was Sam who treated him like a kid and not a monster. Dean even near the end didn't do the same. But I don't hate Dean or blame Dean for that. He has been like that since the beginning. And I still love him. But give Sam the respect he deserves, okay???
I've been crying for past 2 hours now. And I'm still going to, ik tht
I wanna go back to the start. I wanna forget this. It was perfect; and at the same time it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I don't wanna know anything. Please let me go back to the start.
I don't think I will recover from this soon.
My heart is lying shattered on the floor. Nothing can put it back together. Even if they try it will never be what it was.
I love you guys. And I hate you too. Okay??
Didn't realize it is this long but idc anymore.












