Silly Pu$$y DnD Campaign
Characters
My friend’s mom - Silly Pu$$y
My friend’s other mom - Ivy Bread
My friend’s dad - Hoosier Daddy
My friend - DM
My child - Jade
Anne - Calliope
Me - Lutum
Campaign so far
I wasn’t around for the first few meet ups so they just fucked around the town but boy did it pay off, here was where I showed up...
The party breaks into my house, they start eating my food because they don’t know I’m here. I then walk in and they don’t notice me or quite some time. When they do we stare at each other for a while. They continue to eat my food until I say
“Anything you take from my house you have to pay for”
They keep eating and I get a little annoyed at these people stealing all my shit so, being the boss ass bitch Lutum is, I pull out a shotgun and tell them to get out. Cal leaves instantly, Ivy hides, Hoosier daddy isn’t there anymore (player left the room), Jade is my child so I wouldn’t hurt them and that leaves Silly. Boy does this get good.
Silly and Lutum are both cat like characters so we feel this battle would be evenly matched and be a great fight scene so we carry it out.
They are very different characters but interesting in there own special ways.
My friends mom rolls a nat 20, she has a +2 strenght modifier, comes at me from a high jump with her heels
I also roll a nat 20, my strenght modifier is -1 but because I’m a trained assassin I can use my constitution modifier, +3
I shoot her heels off so she’s stumbling in broken shoes. I can kill her easily
“Pick a god a pray”
Lutum has no mercy. Silly’s responce?
“You, you are the god that I pick. Please don’t kill me!”
“You have to pay for your friends’ actions”
“No, no. They aren’t my friends! I don’t like them and never took anything!”
That bitch. Ivy gets out from under the table and starts yelling at her.
Jane is pleading with me not to kill her, rolls a 13. I roll, you guessed it, another nat 20. I’m ready to throw this motherfucker back to hell, but it’s just the start of the campaign and all the characters are neccesary. So, my solution
“You have two options. You can die now or you can live out the rest of your days under just two conditions, never letting this moment go. It will be joked about and never forgotten and... wearing flats for the rest of eternity”
Heels are her weapon. Lutum is making this bitch unable to fight because she threw everyone under the bus. As much as she wants to die, she can’t let that happen this early, so she accepts the conditions and we move on. However, I have to keep a low profile. Being an assassin isn’t easy. These whores are all over the newspaper, if I’m seen with them who knows how messy things could get.
“Grab what you can and run”
They all rush around the house grabbing food and weapons, anything they can find. They don’t know what Lutum is planning, but after what just happened it’s better to comply. I set up a two minute timer for them. They get out as I count down
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
Lutum throws a molotov cocktail into his chimney, already filled with gasoline, and walks away. The others have no choice but to follow.
So, that’s the campaign so far!! What do you guys think? Should I keep updating it? We have another meet up tomorrow (I think). The story will continue and so will the one liners. Do you guys want to know the whole story or is this fine? Let me know, I don’t want to be boring you!!