Pretty much a year ago tomorrow, I went on a 'mission' to LBC Pride with my best friend Kenny. We were gonna hang out and do some random shit, when I get a call from my now ex girlfriend. She tells me she got ditched by her so called best friend, she was lost and she needed me to pick her up and whatnot. So we go out there only to see that she pretty much was with her and was super hammered (I had kinda figured). This girl was NOT suppose to be drinking due to her being bipolar and her meds. I didn't like it but I couldn't possibly take care of her 24/7. Regardless, she did what she wanted. So I went out with the best intentions to go get her, take her home, which she lived over an hour away from, with her car and have my friend follow me so I could get home myself. She gets all violent that NO ONE could drive her car, which I gave a down payment for, and just was a hot mess. The worst part was her telling me some girl she was crazy for, was there and told me she loved her. Lemme remind you this was the girl I was madly in love with, I would do anything for, gave a promise ring to, was going to propose to, almost came out to my family for, which would've resulted in me being homeless and without my family (they're pretty homophobic). She told me she loved both of us equally. You can't possibly love two people equally the same. That's like me loving my ex at the same time. No. Nope. I felt my heart ripped out. I felt a bit of me died that day. And what just topped it all off was her not really caring and her friend telling me the reason why she was still hung up on her- she gave her the attention she really wanted. Wtfffff. I gave her sooo much but it just wasn't enough. It was never enough. The next day she apologized but the damage was done. I 'forgave' her but I've never forgotten. That really hurt and it's affected me til today. Now, I have a bit of a hard time trusting girls 'cause you can tell me you love me and promise me the world but it's all lies. You can love someone else. I've been told I'm 'ideal' and 'perfect' and 'too good to be true' yet, if I really was, girls wouldn't do what they do. Now, a year later, I'm dating someone else but I don't trust her 110% like I should. She has trust and commitment issues. I hate when women talk shit about men when it comes to this 'cause it's not only them. It's women too. Same shit. I'm kinda not looking forward to tomorrow 'cause of all this but then again, I'd like to create different memories. I want to be happy again.