#j.agorant

[darkknightdemonslayer-blog]

no but shane's death has probably been the most traumatic experience of my life

like i thought i was over it but whenever i think about it i just want to cry ughh

[darkknightdemonslayer-blog]

a certain two dumbasses keep texting me about how "cute my shirt looks today" as if they can actually see me 24/7 WHICH THEY CAN'T It's been going on for like two days now and i'm about to kill them SO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M JUST NOT GOING TO WEAR A SHIRT TODAY SO THE JOKE'S REALLY ON THEM.

HAAAAAA.

[darkknightdemonslayer-blog]

i neeeedd minecraft back in my life what do i do ;__;

anyways i was reading some of the older rants i posted on tumblr from like..2 years ago and oh my god i was such a dumb ass . how did you guys handle that?? the sad thing is i actually haven't changed that much..i don't think

i'm still just as repulsive ;////;

OH and speaking of 2 years ago..friggen nick belby posted a picture on facebook from our freshman orientation! AAAAHHHH it was horrifying! Luckily only the back of my head was showing thank god 0____0 but i remember that moment clear as day, the first time i met the other academy kids

well

not met

i spent most of my time hiding from everyone....;^; AND looking for that pool in the third floor the seniors told us about

i found out by the end of that year that that was just some stupid rumor seniors tell the freshmans on their first day!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT GOD I'M SO STUPID I SPENT THE WHOOOOLLEE ORIENTATION LOOKING FOR ANY STAIRCASE THAT WOULD LEAD UP THEEERRREEEE

anyways, what i am trying to say is. I am sooo glad i'm a senior this year!! I wouldn't do high school all over again even if they paid me.

[darkknightdemonslayer-blog]

hh my fandums are killing me...walking dead ;3; being human ;____;

anyways,

my mom was trying to explain to me about the whole college thing..like to be smart and not to throw away money going to nyu for like the first two years because yeah and i should go to tcc or odu first then transfer to save money and so i won't get out of college in debt

and like i get that, i know what her concerns are but leaving for new york is more to me than just going to some swanky college and partying whatever

to me, leaving is something i feel like i have to do. i desperately want to escape into a place where no one knows a thing about me, i want to start fresh and knew in an area where people can only see who i am now--not the stupid shit i have done in the past

i want to be surrounded by new people, places, and oppurtunities

i want to know what it is to be out on my own, fending for myself without mom and dad's help

i want to be on my own

i want to learn things for myself

not constantly following after my sister's footsteps

not with the same people who has seen me at my worst, who has seen my struggle

i want to start my new life

and i can't wait two more years

[darkknightdemonslayer-blog]

yay everyone is gone now so i can go back to blogging again!!~ i've been so busy this past week, but i don't any of you guys really noticed my absence right? :'D but anyways, i'm back to blogging and spamming and fangirling a lot

just like the old daiiss

overall, this week has been pretty tough on me (emotionally) like i've done things that i don't neccessarily regret but i sort wish i can just sweep under the rug now that's all said and done. i hate people who linger on it and mope around and get all sensitive about it. i just want to move on and almost forget it never happened.

but you know apparently i'm suffering from depression so i've been acting way off the past week..month...year

my mom is really hovering over me about it and i sort of wish she didn't. i know she's just worried because i pretty much "cracked" like 2...3 days ago. but i really just want nothing more than to deal with my own problems on my own. my own sanity is my burden to bear, i don't want anyone else getting involved they only slow me down

i even told my parents, "what you saw that night was not the first time i cracked, it was just the first time i got caught."

i know my problem is that i try to ignore the problem and act like it's not bothering me, but i still rather just do that than face it. anything is better than just facing it. 

i'm not saying it's right, it's just easier that way.

no one understands the weight i am carrying

[darkknightdemonslayer-blog]

i'm ranting on this blog again ;v; every time i try to make a more personal blog it just doesn't feel the same i love this one too muchhh because i don't care about notes or if anyone every reads it or not here it just feels good and free~

ok here i go again 

i'm never getting a job lol xDD actually i think i really need to get my license first before i can even start working...i feel lame for having kim take me everywhere...hhh but i can't get one until january ;^; this is what i get for being lazy and getting my permit late

also i can't wait until i graduate 

 i am so tired of high school already mostly because i already saw kim go through the whole senior thing so i feel like i already lived it too..i don't feel like having my turn, i just want to skip to the part where i can start fresh and new and be somewhere different and meet different people

i can't wait to travel next year...i think i've mentioned this before too >o< sorry if i'm annoying

i'm just so bored guys i can't even

i want to live in new york 

if i somehow by some godly chance get an amazing scholarship to a college in new york i wonder if my parents would let me go there 0___0...i wonder if it would be such a good idea..............? i mean being so far from family might be a little lonely

i don't know but

i just really want to go to a place where nobody knows who i am and the mistakes i have made in the past

can i just bring my family with me? can we just move to new york or something

or the phillippines...idk but i think they might think i'm snobby or something if i go there

filipinos can be very judgemental and apparently i look like some snobby bitch all the time so

i don't know

i don't know

i don't know if anyone will like me

in new york

philippines

or japan

here

or anywhere

;____; and i know i'm just doing this to myself, driving myself crazy by thinking too much

[darkknightdemonslayer-blog]

no matter how many other blogs i make, i always seem to fall back to yoooouuuuu~~♥

darkknight-demonslayer, my love♥♥♥

[darkknightdemonslayer-blog]

OH MY GOD WAS THAT--??? WAS THAT OH MY GOD

GENERAL IROH????? IS THAT LIKE ZUKO'S KID OR SOMETHING

OMG HE SOUNDED JUST LIKE HIMMM OH MY GOD I'M CRYING

LIN BEI FAN IS SO BAD ASS TOO OMG SO MUCH FEELS FOR HER