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Okay 1 trillion additional emotional damage from seeing many videos my dad took / he's in because apparently I backed up my parent's devices in 2018. I hadn't seen these when I did the extensive comb through everything for photos for the funeral and wake that took me weeks to do. I didn't think we had this many recordings of him. Crying and smiling. An intense window to the past...

#ohhhhhh i miss him #videos are intense. it almost felt like I was there again #wowie this was not what I was looking for today. i was actually looking for some specific photos....#but that'll have to wait while the past echoes in my mind #jabbers

Thinking about a mutual who hasn't posted in 3 months and hoping they're okay tonight. It's still weird not seeing them in my activity and on the dash bc we used to chat often

#i sent a little message just to say I'm thinking of them and hopefully whenever they come back it lifts their spirits a little to know they #were missed and their absence was definitely noticed. this is the weird thing getting to know people on Tumblr. it's a weird feeling having #a friend kind of go missing in a way but then they're actually probably fine. but you have no way of finding out obviously #jabbers

Woke up and immediately knocked an entire glass of water over

#why #jabbers

Not a good day today but I'm handling it significantly better than I did in the past. And I haven't had a bad day like this in ages , whereas they used to be very routine. Keeping perspective is helpful.

#jabbers #the difference between how I'm reacting now and even 5 years ago is monumental. and all because of the time and effort I've put into taking #care of myself and I'm hmm i deserve to pat myself on the back for it . It was not easy to get to this point. and i did well today #mental health #bleh

Massive spider in my room by the ceiling. Been looking at it from across the room with binoculars lol. Got some close ups on my camera using the binoculars.

#It's chilling #I'm chilling #arachnophobia #insects #jabbers

Wow just looked through old posts about neural blender... it was a different time.

#got two mutuals from that time :')#reading my old words and saw how excited i was back about things back then #5 years changes a lot... i think i know what i was up to back then too...#jabbers

The phone call has happened and I can go tf back to sleep for today yeahhhhhh

#so so sleepy and waa drifting off when they rang #so sleepy #jabbers #Nice nap

Exhausted but waiting on a phone call some time in the next 4 hours so can't really nap

#i so need to nap #jabbers #a nice nap #but.... uninterrupted

#jabbers

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