#jack maynard angst

[peanutbuttercreamjelly]

Noise - Jack Maynard

Where you live in the apartment a level lower than Jack and you can’t sleep because Jack has way too much fun with a girl.

Warning: Mentions of smut

Ugh, I know it’s short, but I’m thinking about making a part 2 maybe...

It was nearly 2 am, and Y/N couldn’t sleep. She lied awake, actually having to study for her upcoming finals tomorrow, but she was too tired for that. She really wanted to rest, she needed to, but she couldn’t. And there was only one reason why.

Jack Maynard.

Out of all people, he had to live in the apartment above hers. He was the loudest person she had ever met. She didn’t even know when he slept, because there were people over yelling and cheering in the middle of the night, or he would bring random girls home literally 24/7. Two days ago, it had been 9 am, and they were so loud that she did not only hear them in her bedroom, but in her living room, too. Today though, they reached a whole new level of noise. It sounded as if they were about to break the bed. She didn’t mind him having an active sex life, she had one herself, but she didn’t do it so loudly that everybody else in the entire building lied awake and was forced to listen.

Enough was enough. She had an exam tomorrow, she could not go there completely sleep-deprived, so she decided to go up there and disrupt their little... encounter.

She took the lift, went one floor up, and rang his bell. Y/N was surprised that she couldn’t hear them as well as from her bedroom below. When nothing happened, she rang again. And then she just kept ringing until finally, the door opened, revealing a thoroughly fucked out Jack.

“What do you want?”, he asked as he recognized her. She had caught his eye once or twice as they met at the mailboxes or as they shared a lift.

“Look”, Y/N said, “I’m glad you have a healthy sex life and all but will you please try not to pierce a whole through my ceiling with your bed? Thanks.”

She wanted to turn around and go back to bed, finally getting some sleep, but there was something that caught her eye. It was a very prominent, purple hickey that started right at his collarbone. She took a closer look at his state now, finding that his face was flushed, his hair a mess, and his body was bare except for a pair of boxers that he apparently had put on in a rush.

She suddenly became very aware of her soggy pajama pants and her top that, as she discreetly looked down, revealed way more than she wanted. To top it off, she didn’t wear a bra and the chilly air in the hallway made her nipples stand out through the thin fabric. She felt herself blushing, but there was nothing that she could do about it.

“Look, I know we might have been a bit louder, but... we’re done soon, okay?”, Jack said and tried to shut the door.

But Y/N wasn’t having any of it. She placed her foot in between Jack’s door and the frame, wincing slightly as the door squeezed her foot. She hadn’t bothered to put shoes on, she just went up there in fuzzy socks.

“No”, she said. “No, it’s not okay. I have a bloody exam tomorrow and I can’t sleep because you choose to ruin your bed right above of mine. I don’t care what you are doing to her, but keep it low”, she stressed the last few words, “or I’m calling the security guy.” Then she turned around and stomped back to the lift.

Jack really was an idiot, although she couldn’t shake off the feeling that she had had when she saw him like this. Still, she reminded herself, he was an idiot.

Based off this post from @dailyau

[maynardtrash]

Hurting Pt. 2~Jack Maynard

A/N: this is a part two of an angsty angst imagine i wrote bc i was just getting over a boy who lowkey fucked me up but its life so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. anywayzilz ill link pt 1 here or you can go to my masterlist or not read it at all idc what you do its your life dude this ones a long boi tho sorry guys.

     I prepared myself to be the hottest I could be. I did my hair, wore my favorite skimpy and sexy dress, and my makeup was *snatched*. It was the first time I had gone out in a few months. It was the first time I had gone out since the incident. I didn’t like speaking about it because I would only think about it. I would relive the whole thing over again. I was going to have fun tonight. I was going to be happy again, even if it killed me. I couldn’t waste my time and energy on him. He was no longer in my life and I had to accept that. I had to accept that he wasn’t worth me or my time.

     I grabbed my clutch and joined my friends as we went to grab our Uber. We were going to a club opening and nothing said forgetting a shitty ex like free booze from greasey men trying to get into my pants and me trying to deny them as gently and politely as possible. We showed up to a long line of people dying to get in. But with great friends comes great opportunities. My friend (Y/F/N) was hooking up with the club owner. The bouncer recognized her immediately as he let us passed while we left behind groans and shouting from the queue.

     We were faced with mulitcolored lights, a sea of people, and booming EDM. My friends and I were all pulled to the bar as we squeezed through the crowd. Another friend of mine ordered a round of shots, and they all lifted their glasses to me. “To (Y/N)!” my friend shouted over the music. “Because fuck men and fuck men, amiright!?” We all laughed hysterically at her speech, cheers-ed, then threw them back. We had some more drinks before my group moved to the dance floor. We danced for a bit, grabbed drinks, went back to the dance floor, bought more drinks, and the cycle continued. 

     After what felt like an eternity, I decided it was time to sit down. I didn’t care who’s table I was going to, and neither did my feet. Heels in hand, I climbed into the closest booth to me, sighed in relief, and closed my eyes. “Long time no see, stranger,” a familiar voice shouted at me. My tired eyes fluttered open and laid upon a sight that made them sore. It was my ex boyfriend’s brother, Conor. He was giving me a warm smile, but I had never felt colder. My eyes widened and I began to panic. “Sorry, sorry,” I said, not caring if he heard.

     As I began to get up, I felt myself press against a warm force. I looked up to see a set of familiar blue eyes. Jack looked at me with a mix of sadness, elation, and guilt. “(Y/N), it’s so good to see you,” he said desperately. I said nothing in return, but I made a straight b-line to the bathroom. I ran to a stall and began to dry heave and cry and resort back to square one. “Tonight was supposed to be my night,” I thought to myself. “It was supposed to be my comeback.” Then a light bulb went off. It could still be my night.

     I got up from the ground, flushed, brushed myself off, and went to the mirrors. I touched up my makeup, grabbed a drink, chugged it, then went to the dance floor. I grabbed a random man and began to grind on him. He was getting into it, and I tried. Then I felt a strong hand grab my wrist and pull me away. Before I looked up, we were outside. I picked my head up and looked at my captor. “What the fuck, Jack!?” I screamed as I saw my ex glare at me.

     “I should be asking you that, (Y/N)!” he yelled back.

     “Why!? You’re not my boyfriend anymore! I’m no longer your damsel to save! I’m no longer your issue!”

     “To hell you aren’t! I still love you!”

     “Is that so? Certainly didn’t look that way when you were plowing another girl!” 

     “You don’t think I don’t think about that every god damn day!? You don’t think that’s one of my biggest regrets!?”

     “Then why did you do it, Jack? Why did you cheat on me?” At this point we had drawn a small crowd and I was on the verge of tears. “It’s a shitty excuse,” he grumbled.

     “I don’t care,” I told him. “It kills me even more that I don’t know why you decided to do that.”

     “Because... because you were the first girl I cared about,” he said. “Genuinely. You weren’t just another fuck and chuck. You were different. But then I got scared. I thought you would leave me because I thought karma would bite me in the ass. So I did what I’m best at and I hurt you first. But when I saw that look in your eyes I regret it with all my heart.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Please,” I retorted. 

     “Do you want me to prove it to you?” he asked angrily. I threw my arms in the air, gesturing him to go on his Casanova rant to save his ass and win the girl. “Art museum, food from a food truck, exploring the city we’re doing that in and finding non-touristy things to do. Your perfect date. You want someone to give you grape hyacinths on Valentine’s Day because they’re still beautiful but aren’t typical. You prefer silver over gold because it feels more classic. You think your best angle is your left but I think all angles of you are beautiful. And you hate that I say that because you think I’m lying. I could go on but if I did you would probably try to punch me for doing something as cheesy as this.”

     I was angry, but only because he made me not want to hate him. I wanted nothing more to go tell him to go fuck himself, that I wanted nothing to do with him. Then he said, “Let me have one more chance. Just one. Let me do all those things I should have done the first time.” I began to cry because I felt weak. But I agreed, and his eyes lit up. He rushed over and hugged me, and we started anew.

[maynardtrash]

Hurting 1.5~Jack Maynard

A/N: this is about jacks time after the breakup between him and (Y/N) bc yall want a jack pov and im down w it tbh btw full length fan fic will be up within the next week i think

Jack’s P.O.V.

     I sat on the couch, reflecting on what had just happened. I had never felt such a strange feeling in my entire life. I was both numb and bursting at the seams with so many different emotions. I mean, it was practically routine at this point. I take on some bird I find at the club, keep her around for a bit, move on, repeat. But something felt different. When I looked at her, I wasn’t just pretending to feel bad or regret it. My stomach sank. I felt sick. It was all a blur. Her running out just as fast as she came in, the girl on my lap mocking her, me kicking the girl out, and now I’m here. 

     I sat on the couch and I felt worse than being hungover with the flu. I hurt someone I didn’t even know I cared for. I felt the first tear roll down my face, and I fought it first. Not because I didn’t feel manly or whatever. I didn’t deserve to cry. I hurt her. I broke (Y/N)’s heart. I threw our relationship out of the window so she couldn’t do that to me, yet it feels just as bad. Then I decided to let them go since they were coming anyway because I was angry at myself. I was angry at myself for cheating on a genuine girl and ruining it for the both of us. I was angry for being upset when I made the choice. 

     That’s when she came back. For just a split second I had hope again. For a single moment, I thought she would forgive me. Then I truly realized how much of an idiot I was. She was packing. She was leaving for good. I was surprised but came to my wits. “Of course she’s leaving,” I thought to myself as she quietly stormed to the bedroom. “Why in god’s name would she immediately forgive the man who fucked up the most?” I watched as she walked out, left the apartment building one last time, then grab a cab. I began to tear my flat apart. I broke lamps. I ripped the couch. Dishes became fragments.

     I lay on the disheveled couch as her speech played over and over in my head. Everything she said was right. It was my choice to hurt her, and I need to reevaluate my life. I did that for a solid month and even longer without realizing it. It took me a month to sleep in my room anyway. I couldn’t sleep in it without thinking of her. But even sleeping on the couch couldn’t get me to let her go. She was always in my dreams. Whether it was remembering every detail of her face or just having her in the background, she was always there when I closed my eyes. There also wasn’t a moment when I was awake I didn’t think about her. I would go back to moments I was with her if I passed something we had done or somewhere we went to. I would hope to run into her somewhere, but it never happened.

     The lads had nothing to say at first. Not that they were lost with words, they had too much to say. They weren’t sure how to go about it until a week later when Conor sat me down and really laid it in me about how much I fucked it all up. I sat there listening, only to think the whole time about how this was stuff I already knew. I knew ever since I saw the tears form in her once bright and sparkling eyes I did something I would regret for the rest of my life. I felt like an empty shell for what felt like an eternity.

     Turns out it had only been a few months, but it didn’t feel like it. The boys were all going out, and I decided to go out in public to drown my sorrow instead of staying home and doing the same. We arrived at some club opening I couldn’t give less of a shit about and we got in instantly. The perks of having a C list sibling. I went straight for the bar and asked for their strongest drink. The guy just turned and went to work. “I’m gonna grab a table,” Conor yelled over the bumping music. I nodded as he pushed his way to the booths right outside of the dance floor. I grabbed the glass and opened my throat as I chugged the drink as fast as possible. It burned like hell and tasted like death. Perfect.

     I was about to ask for another when I fatefully turned to check on the booth to see if the boys joined or even if Mikey was trying and failing with a girl. That’s when I saw it. That’s when I saw her. She looked breath taking. She was wearing that dress I loved so much. Her hair was tossled and slightly knotted from dancing, but still looked perfect. Her skin glistened beautifully, even the lack of light. She stumbled into the booth, most likely accidentally. But I saw it as an opportunity. I saw the Fates on my side. I rushed to the table, and I was about to make sure not to make the same mistake as before. I wasn’t letting her go like before.

[maynardtrash]

Hurting~Jack Maynard

A/N: Sorry for the angst oopsie

I sat in the park, gripping my legs, trying to get a hold on reality. My knuckles had turned white, and my face was red from sobbing. The tears kept coming, the rage building up and tearing itself down. I didn’t know what to do, how to feel. The scene kept flashing in my head over and over. 

I had gone a business trip for work, but the seminar I had gone to ended earlier than expected. With this news, I had decided to surprise my boyfriend, Jack. I grabbed a taxi from the airport and went to the store where I picked up ingredients for Jack’s favorite meal. I ordered an Uber and balanced my suitcase, carry on, and groceries. The driver helped me put my stuff in and asked, “Why go grocery shopping before or after taking a trip?” 

“Surprising my boyfriend,” I told him. He smiled and nodded, clearly impressed.

“Lucky chap.” That rang in my ear like a siren call. That line made me feel sick. I wanted to turn and puke right into the garbage can next to me, but nothing came up. I just continued to stare at the concrete, fixated. I had no energy to move.

I exited the Uber, taking everything in hand. I walked into the familiar lobby and nodded towards the security. I pushed the button to the elevator to go to my home. I stepped in, went up, and walked towards our apartment. But, once I stepped into that apartment I’ve stepped into a million times, something felt off. Something felt out of place and cold. It didn’t feel like home anymore. That’s when I heard it. The squeaking. The moaning. My organs sank to my feet, my jaw dropped. Everything fell from my hands. The pipes in my eyes burst. I felt like I froze, but I also felt my legs swiftly move to the bedroom. I opened it to find my boyfriend, my everything, my home, on top of another woman. Ramming himself in some bimbo. 

I felt poison fill my mouth, my nose, my eyes, and my mind. I ran out, feeling numb. Jack was calling after me, but I didn’t hear it. Everything was muddled. I began to run once I made it outside. I ran as fast and as far as I could, which led me to the park I was at. It led me to this bench where I was contemplating my entire life. I began to look at all the decisions I made. I revisited my memories with Jack since day 1. My friend’s words swam through my head at a rapid pace. “You don’t meet your soulmate in a club, (Y/N),” she told me. “It just doesn’t happen like that.” I remember just rolling my eyes and telling her she was wrong.

I felt like a fool. I felt like an idiot. I trusted him with my most valuable possessions: my heart and soul. He knew I was hurt and broken from those in the past, but decided to do this. I refused to blame myself, but it didn’t stop the thoughts from coming in. “What could I have done differently?” 

“How could I have made him happier?”

“What was wrong with me?”

I then gathered the strength to get up and go back. I felt like an empty vessel. I had no energy. I walked back to the apartment to grab my things. I opened the door and saw Jack sitting on the couch, head in his hands. He was clearly crying, and I didn’t understand. He’s the one who hurt me. How does he have the right to be upset? “Why are you crying?” I asked him. He looked up and smiled. “(Y/N)!” he exclaimed like I was a present he had opened on Christmas. “I’m so happy you’re back. Listen, I am so sorry I did this and I-” I put my finger up to signal him to be silent. He obliged, and I just stared at him. “I’m here to grab my things,” I told him. “I’ll be staying with a friend for the mean time while I plan to go back home.”

“(Y/N), I’m-”

“No, Jack. Stop. I’m done. You cheated. You didn’t just accidentally flirt with some girl while you were drunk, or just maybe kiss her. You downright, flat out cheated. You deliberately put your vile dick in her. You hurt me so deeply to the point of no return. So no fighting. No debating this. I’m done. It’s over. You fucked up and you need to reflect on your life choices.”

 I went to his room, grabbed the belongings that weren’t tied to him in any way, packed them up, and left. I only turned my back to look him in the eyes as I placed my set of keys on the table next to the door. 

“Goodbye, Jack.”

“Goodbye, (Y/N).”

[maynardtrash]

Calm~Jack Maynard

A/N: This was requested. Sorry it took so long. Also sorry if it’s complete garbage.

It flashed through my mind over and over again. I couldn’t get it out of my head. There he was, my ex. All those awful images went through my head as I tried to sleep. “You’re fucking useless.” “You’re such a waste of space.” “You’re such an attention whore. I know you’re faking this.” I was reliving the nightmare the past year had been over and over again. He even haunted me when he was thought to be far away. 

As the images flashed by, I woke up and shot up. I was breathing heavily, trying to calm down. I began to shake uncontrollably, the room spinning. “Oh no,” I whispered. I held my head in my hands, trying to find zen. All the therapy felt like a waste of time and money. I felt like I was always going to carry the baggage he forced on me. That’s when I felt Jack wrap his arms around my arms and began to hold my hands. “Shhhh,” he said, trying to sooth me. “Just breathe. Breathe for me. Please.” I felt the tears running down my face. I felt guilty. Guilty he had to deal with my mountain of issues. Guilty he most likely felt trapped. This mess of a girl he had to take care of because he felt bad. 

As the thoughts raced through my head, I felt his weight shift, then his hands pick my face up and caress my cheeks. “Listen to me,” he commanded sternly. “You’re not some waste of space. You are not an attention whore. You are a lovely, incredible, intelligent, amazing, beautiful woman who deserves to love herself as much as I do. That bastard is nothing but scum of the earth, and I promise I will fix what he broke. Okay?” I began to breathe again as I looked into Jack’s beautiful eyes. I nodded slowly and he smiled in response. “Try to get some rest, okay?” 

“Okay,” I whispered in response. I turned to lay down on his lap as he began to play with my hair. As he held me in his arms, I began to calm down for once. I closed my eyes, and all of my problems melted away. I ended up getting to sleep for the first time in god knows how long.

[maynardtrash]

Nerves~Jack Maynard Fanfiction Pt 4

     A/N: This will be the last installment of Nerves, but I’ll keep writing stuff. It’s just that this story was meant to be a one off but because it did so well I kept writing. I have nothing else to give to this story that I would be happy with. I’m currently brainstorming an actual full length fan fiction installment that will be way longer than this. This won’t have smut but instead will be p angsty so if you’re not into that soz. Anyway, I’m glad you guys have enjoyed it so much. Thank you for the support xx

     I slid to the floor, holding the stick in my hand. This can’t be real, can it? No, this is an awful nightmare. Positive. The test was positive, and I couldn’t be anything but scared. How will Jack react? What will the boys do? What will my friends think? What will my family say? I’m only 21. But how will Jack react? We’ve been dating for over a year at this point, but we weren’t ready. At least I knew I wasn’t, and I’m the responsible one in the relationship. How do I tell him? I was so sure I was okay. The birth control I took was supposed to be the best.      So many thoughts were racing through my head when I heard the door slam and the ruckus of the whole buttercream squad. “Shit!” I thought, quickly pulling myself together and trying my best to hide the pregnancy test. I briskly walked to the bedroom and hid the drugstore bag with my makeup stuff. He’ll just assume it was makeup, right? I applied and blended some concealer at a rapid pace to hide my red skin and puffy eyes. I then calmly walked into the living room to see the boys enjoying themselves. Enjoying life. I felt like crying again. How dare I take this away from him? How dare I take his 20′s away from him and force him into some loveless, unhappy marriage? I felt sick.

     I was so deep in thought I didn’t even notice the boys talking to me. “Y/N?” Jack asked, concern written across his face. “Are you alright?” I quickly nodded and gave a tight smile in return. “Yeah, yeah I’m alright,” I reassured him. “Just thinking about some stuff I need to pick up at the store.” He smiled and blew me a kiss as he continued the usual banter with his friends. I went back to our room and began to pace and think. I need to leave. But where do I go? Back home? So my mother can have my head on a silver platter? So she can say she was right about Jack being “no good and a waste”? What about Y/B/F? But do I wanna put that burden on her too? Hiding me? No. I decided to find the cheapest yet nicest place I could snag in such short notice.

     I decided to move to the town near the one I grew up in. It was a good area, plus it was in the school district I went to as a kid. I loved my old school so I would hope my unborn child would like it too. I found a small town house that was in my price range and put a bid on it. A few days later I got a notification from the owners, saying they were willing to sell. They wanted to meet with me the next week, and I accepted. I then devised my plan to sneak out and plan what to say to Jack in a letter to give some bullshit explanation without ruining his life too much. I packed my things, packed my car, then drove off and didn’t look back.

                                                 *Three Years Later*

     “Do you have the baby bag?” I asked my mother as we prepared to take Natalie to the park.

     “I have everything, don’t you worry your pretty little head,” she replied. I gathered my daughter and her essential toys as we headed out the door. I held Natalie in my hands, looking at her as she looked at the world with her curious eyes. I could never get over the look she had whenever we went places. I also couldn’t get over how much she looked like Jack. She had a the Maynard nose and his eyes. She was absolutely breath taking, but it broke my heart that when I looked at her I thought of him. 

     I always wondered what he would think of her. I always wondered what he would be like as a father. I always wondered what it would be like if I had just stayed. Would it have worked? Would it have lasted? Were we in love or lust? I constantly wondered that. I was almost always tempted to just go back, take Nat, and bring our family together. Then I would think of the reasons I left and it would bring me back to earth. I left for him, for her. That’s what I would tell myself. That’s how I lived with my decision. As if my mom could read my mind, she just smiled and shook her head. “She looks just like him,” she said, breaking the silence. 

     “I know,” I replied.

     “He would’ve made a great father.”

     “You hated him, especially after I got pregnant with Nat.”

     “It’s tradition. My mother didn’t like you father, my grandmother didn’t like your grandfather. So on and so forth.” We sat in silence for the most of the ride. As Natalie got older, I felt more and more selfish. I felt I was hiding her from Jack and vice versa. But, at this point, I didn’t know how to go back to him and say, “Hey-a Jack! Remember me? The girl that left you high and dry? Yeah well I did that because I got pregnant! Surprise here’s your daughter!” 

     We got to the park and as I began to take Nat out of her car seat and pick her up, she began to protest. “NO!” She argued. “Walk! Wanna walk!” I let her down as she began to waddle her little body towards the playground. My mother followed her as I began to grab the bags of toys my daughter so profusely insisted on having. As I walked to meet up with my family, I heard a familiar voice say, “So that’s why you left.” I turned my head to see Conor standing behind me. I dropped the bags, crossed my arms, and looked at Natalie. “Yeah,” I said, looking at my feet. 

     “Does he know?” he asked.

     “No.”

     “And why not?”

     “Because I didn’t want to ruin his life.”

     “You know he still misses you? And he would probably especially miss you and your daughter.”

     “Natalie. Her name is Natalie.”

     “Natalie Y/L/N?”

     “Maynard. Natalie Maynard. I took her away from him. Might as well have his last name.”

     “Listen, my whole job was to find you. It wasn’t that hard, but it also wasn’t a piece of cake. You were fairly hidden.”

     “Well are you gonna tell Jack?”

     “Do you want me to tell Jack?”

     “I feel like he has the right to know.” Conor then took out his phone and began to make a call. “Hey man... Yeah she’s here... I’ll send you the location... I’ll see you soon then... Bye. He’ll be here soon.” After a 15 minute wait, a black Subaru pulled up. Jack climbed out and stared at me. His face was blank, but I could tell what he was feeling. It was an array of emotions, and he was mostly hurt. I felt my eyes well up with tears when I saw him. He was still so beautiful.         He walked over and stood next to Conor. There was a solid minute of awkward silence when I heard Natalie scream for me. “Mommy!” she yelled with excitement. “Come play!” Jack looked at me with bewilderment, then realization slapped him across the face. “Is she-?” he began to ask. I nodded. “Would you like to meet her?” I asked. He nodded in response and I took him over to her. As I led him over, Natalie ran to me and grabbed my hand. She got nervous around strangers. “Natalie, sweetie, it’s okay,” I comforted her, rubbing her small hand. “This is your daddy.” She tilted her head as she began to study him. He bent down to her level and stared back. “Hello, Natalie,” he greeted her warmly.

     She smiled and stepped forward. She grabbed her favorite doll and handed it to him as a peace offering and began to play with him. He began to ask questions about her, about things he’s missed. We began to talk about our lives in general as well. He talked about how he tried to move on, but no matter who he was with, it wasn’t me. I had mutual experiences and shared those with him. “Would you like to go out tonight? Discuss Natalie’s future? Our future?” he asked.

     “There’s nothing more I would ever hope for,” I said.