14. [7:46 pm]
The doorbell rang, breaking you out of your daze. You gathered the pile of used tissues from your previous crying fest and tossed them in the bin as you made your way to the front door.
Clearing your throat, you yelled, “Just come in!”, knowing that the person on the other side had the key. You just didn’t have the energy to find your own pair and unlock the door.
It was a rough week, to say the least. You got into a fight with your mother about your current career choice which she strongly disapproved of, and coincidentally, your manager called you into her office to scold you for a mistake even though your entire team was at fault. The stove in your apartment had suddenly malfunctioned and your landlord said it couldn’t be fixed until next month. To top it all off, you just got your period in the middle of the night, staining your nightgown, bedsheets and the mattress.
The final straw was when you came home from work to find a letter from the Department of Transport in the mailbox, informing you that you had been caught speeding and had to pay a fine.
You stormed up to your apartment and immediately ran a hot shower in an attempt to rid yourself of all the bad luck. Closing your eyes, you stood in the shower for a couple of moments, allowing the hot water to wash away your tears and your sorrows. Once you dressed yourself in your comfiest pair of sweatpants and your boyfriend’s oversized hoodie, you sent Jaebeom a brief text before proceeding to bawl your eyes out.
And now here you were, standing, anticipating, waiting by the front door for your boyfriend to come through and grace you with his presence.
He surely didn’t disappoint.
You only caught a brief glimpse of your favourite person and the two black plastic bags he brought with him before Jaebeom wrapped his arms around your smaller figure. Your face smooshed into his plain white t-shirt and you took a deep inhale, feeling your heartbeat slowly return to its regular state while your limbs relaxed and lost its tension. His scent was familiar and heavenly. It reminded you of tangled limbs under the covers, of lazy Sunday mornings, of late-night conversations, and of movie nights that turned into cuddling sessions. It reminded you of comfort, and of home. You felt like you were floating on a cloud, as your worries dissipated into thin air. Floating, wandering, so relaxed…
Then, your mind registered that Jaebeom had indeed lifted you off the ground and carried you to the sofa. He set you down, replacing the plush pillows that had fallen onto the floor, and was about to pull away to fix dinner, but you refused to let go.
He stumbled onto the seat next to you with a huff. “Babe,” Jaebeom chuckled, and you felt it. You felt the deep rumble of his chest, along with the strong, steady drumming of his heartbeat. He tried to peel you away, amused at your current state. You weren’t usually this clingy.
“No,” you protested in a demanding voice. “Stay, don’t go.” You held onto his sleeves as if they were your lifeline, which wasn’t far from the truth. Right now, he was the only thing keeping you sane amongst the harsh realities of life.
He decided to compromise. “Okay then, big baby. I want you to put your arms around me and come with me to the kitchen, can you do that?” Jaebeom asked teasingly, casting a playful look at you across his shoulders.
“Yes, sir!” You replied enthusiastically, and the two of you proceeded as a single unit to plate up the dinner that Jaebeom brought with him.
“I made your favourite.” He said, noticing your curious glances towards the two bags. “Ramen with an egg and cheese on top, and I bought corndogs too.”
“Did you get-”
Before you could finish asking your question, Jaebeom pulled out two bottles of Milkis. He flashed you a knowing smile, eyes crinkling into little crescents as your expression lit up. “I can’t be your boyfriend if I don’t get Milkis, can I?”
It was then that he finally got a good look at you. He noticed your slightly puffy and swollen eyes, runny nose, and his favourite pair of lips, tinted bright red due to your constant biting. His smile faltered a little.
Jaebeom knew. He knew about the disagreements, the scoldings and the multiple strokes of bad luck. He was aware of the anxiety and frustration bubbling within you. He had hoped to reach you before it all spilled over, but it seemed like he was too late. You already had a decent cry. He just wished he was there earlier to coddle you with his love; to let you soak his shirt with your tears while he pressed kisses on the top of your head and rubbed his palm soothingly across your back.
Curse Friday night traffic, Jaebeom thought. If only he reached a couple of minutes before. It wasn’t like he wanted to witness your crying, not at all. Rather, he knew that as human beings, each of us had our limits. There was no point pretending that it was all sunshine and rainbows when you already reached your limit. He knew that bottling up your feelings and sweeping your problems under the rug would do you no good. Jaebeom was a strong advocate for letting yourself be truthful about your emotions; to let yourself feel what you feel. Sometimes this meant letting your hair down at the beach and screaming in glee as you splashed him with cold, salty water, while others casted disapproving glances in your direction. Other times, it meant allowing yourself to cry when you needed to.
Jaebeom was also fully aware that you were at that point of your cycle and the emotions were running high.
“You brought dark chocolate too?” You held the golden bar of 70% dark chocolate in your hands as if it was precious commodity. You never craved chocolate except during your period, and Jaebeom knew. He knew you were on your period. He knew you so well.
“Yeah, it’s that time of the month, right?” Jaebeom looked at you carefully, your reaction making him wonder whether he had gotten the dates mixed up.
“But how did you know? Oh, Lim Jaebeom.” You reached forwards and grabbed his face between your hands, squishing and pinching his cheeks with pure wonder and affection. “You’re gonna make me tear up. Why do you have to be so sweet?”
“I-” He breathed a sigh of relief, allowing you to have your way with him. He was accustomed to this sentimental side of you and to be honest, it always made his heart race. You were extremely affected by every little thing he did for you, no matter how small, and Jaebeom couldn’t help but to feel proud of himself for contributing to your happiness.
“What did I do to deserve you?” You wondered out loud.
He placed his larger palms on yours, caressing the soft skin with his thumbs. He bent down to your height and leaned in for a kiss, hoping to cast out all of your sadness. “Nothing, baby.” Jaebeom muttered, his lips brushing against yours. “You deserve to be loved, just because you’re you.”