Okay yeah no this one’s just not possible. So let’s find an acceptable angle that doesn’t totally break the ask . . . okay. Here’s my top five songs for kicking off a roadtrip (one of my favorite activities, as long as I’m driving):
1. Get Out the Map—Indigo Girls. Obvious. Camp, even. Which is perfect since generally when it’s roadtrip time the destination is camping, or as myself and my camping queers call it, campering (location-themed cocktail and cheese pairing every day from 4-5pm, no exceptions). But this is 100% the first song to be played, and all occupants of the vehicle are legally required to sing along as loudly as possible; bonus points if someone’s got the guts to do Emily’s adlibs.
2. Let’s Go Down To The Beach—Key Boys. I adore surf rock, and 1960s Korean surf rock very specifically (there’s a massive amount of it; it was introduced by American GIs and got super-popular in Korea for a while). I came across this song while at work the day before going beach campering; I’d literally typed “let’s go to the beach” into the YouTube search bar and there it was, and in my heart it remains.
3. Magic—Kylie Minogue. Because I live in America, to get pretty much anywhere any significant distance from my city, I’m going to be driving through some places it’s best not to stop (this isn’t commentary, just . . . how it is here). Here Kylie’s standing in for the club music radio station that we call the gay club music station (this isn’t commentary either; I am a gay and I live across the street from a gay dance club) and if I’m driving through some town that exists only on either side of a stretch of state highway you can believe I’m listening to whatever FISHER-Dua Lipa remix they’re playing every twenty-six minutes as loud as I can (with the windows rolled up; don’t be stupid) because the car is my queer little safe space all the way to the beach. Also I do love thumping club music. (Also also, “Magic” is a perfect pop song.)
4. Sing, Sing, Sing—Gene Krupa, and Gene Krupa only, tbh, because those horns are dirty. I do like Louis Prima’s With a Swing version but still. Sleaze up those horns. And Krupa on the skins, obviously. Feral. (It was this or Leonard Bernstein playing and conducting Rhapsody in Blue)
5. Uptown Top Ranking—Althea and Donna. Especially appropriate for any roadtrip you’re obligated to start either during rush hour or when one of the two roads out of the city got blocked by a fender-bender and/or a sailboat crashing into a bridge. It’s a good way to let everyone know that the first two hours of this journey will be in town, and they will cover four miles, and they will be. a nightmare. so please take an edible if you haven’t already.
