The Banana Splits Movie (2019)
No one was doing anything with The Banana Splits so I don't think anyone will be upset when they learn the "beloved childhood property" is being repurposed as a horror comedy. For those who want that Five Nights at Freddy’s film adaptation, this should keep you at bay for a little while, though you’ll be eager to ditch it once something better comes around. That shouldn’t be hard.
Although he’s considered too old for the show, Harley Williams (Finlay Wojtak-Hissong) loves The Banana Splits: a children’s television series featuring a band of four anthropomorphic animals - dog Fleegle, gorilla Bingo, lion Drooper and Snorky the elephant - and their human co-star Stevie (Richard White). On his birthday, Harley is given tickets to a live shooting of an episode. He, his half-brother Austin (Romeo Career), his classmate Zoe (Maria Nash), his mother Beth (Dani Kind) and his father Mitch (Steve Lund) all go, never suspecting a malfunction will soon cause the animals to go on a killing spree.
There are laughs throughout, which means The Banana Splits Movie is a successful horror-comedy. Before the blood begins flowing, the characters are so broad and cartoonish it’s hard not to chuckle. As soon as Mitch opens his mouth, you know his days are numbered. Same for Stevie. Same with the annoying Instagram-obsessed couple (Kiroshan Naidoo and Celina Martin). You can probably predict everyone who will die, and in what order. You can predict most of the plot, in fact. What the love plot will be like, what will trigger the Banana Splits to become murderous, what certain characters are up to when they’re lying, etc. It’s a by-the-numbers slasher film with some pretty good child actors but plenty of clunky dialogue. As for the adults, most of their performances will make you wish for a prompt death. Needless to say, the selling points of The Banana Splits are the kills and the central gimmick.
Horror films are notorious for working on a tight budget. Unfortunately, Canadian director Danishka Esterhazy (previously responsible for the excellent Black Field) just doesn’t have the resources to make this film look good. Right away, the badly-written story stretches plausibility to its breaking point. The Banana Splits are obviously actors in suits but actually, they’re highly-sophisticated robots covered in fake-looking fur to bring a children’s television series to life. Seems like a waste… but without the setup, there’d be no movie, so fine. Is it too much to ask for the film to get the basics right? When Austin walks away from his family to pursue the show's hostess, Paige (Naledi Majola), he disappears for the entire length of the shoot but his family hardly notices. Strange considering once the filming is done it’s pitch black outside and the studio lot is deserted. I guess Austin was gone for 8 hours then? As for the kills, there are a couple of neat ones but overall, they’re only ok. Mostly, they’re unconvincing, don’t fit the premise, or don't excite you. Needless to say, you’ll never come close to being scared.
The Banana Splits Movie comes off as a couple of random ideas stitched together, as if writers Jed Elinoff and Scott Thomas had a script for a Five Nights at Freddy’s movie that was repurposed with a property that kind of fit but not really. I’d love to hear what fans of the original ’68 television series think of this take on the material. Everything about the production screams “cheap”, down to the story. I’ll remind you it doesn’t cost much to give your text one extra pass to make the characters smart or interesting. Often, this film just doesn’t care about very much at all. Still, I did find myself laughing quite a bit, particularly during the beginning. Although severely flawed, the novelty of The Banana Splits does keep you invested enough to look past the numerous flaws and keep watching until the end. (On DVD, March 30, 2020)
