#jens thoughts

[starving-creativity]

Anyone else plagued with doomsday thoughts in the wee hours of the morning?

[scvrllet]

ji-yeong died with a smile. with a friend— with a purpose for once but just as quickly as it all happened, she knew that only one of them would make it out of that game alive and they both knew it wouldn’t be ji-yeong stepping away alive. faltering her last move, a feeling she couldn’t recall ever feeling flooded her system as the next few moments seemed to happen in a blur, and so with her final moment, she looked at sae-byeok with a smile as she thanked her friend for choosing her before the bullet shot through ji-yeong’s skull. hopefully in some other life, a better one, they would meet again and finally have that girls night they planned on having and maybe in another life, one wouldn’t have to die for the other.

[moonrisedreams]

I was always told I “must be an extrovert” because I did okay/well in social situations, generally didn’t struggle with introducing myself to people and holding conversation.

As I got older, I realized that I ignored a lot of the internal anxiety that came with it, and getting to a point where conversation can be natural still takes a lot of effort, energy, and mental preparation for me - because beginnings are always a bit awkward.

More recently, I’ve realized that I’m definitely more of an introvert and I’m more attuned to how I feel and what it takes for me to strike up conversation and build relationships / friendships irl. If I seem a natural at it (mostly because my job is dependent on it), it’s a skill I’ve learned to fine tune.

But after hanging out with one of my best friends irl yesterday for EIGHT hours with non-stop adult conversation since we hadn’t talked in months left me drained and needing rest (in the best. way. possible). It’s how being an introvert sometimes is for me - I can be engaged and social and for a long period of time but then need a break to not be social for a while.

Coincidentally, I also felt so fulfilled and connected again that I didn’t feel a need to socialize online. Funny how that works doesn’t it? but I feel healthy today and less attached to social media <3. I need to bottle this up and remember to find ways to experience this again. 

In the meantime, taking some much needed rest.

[whowearsthecatears]

please for the love of god stop putting "general dni stuff" on your carrd do you know the sheer RANGE of shit ive seen on dni lists

[espressogal]

you have one life.

stop settling for less and make the most out of what you have. afraid of chasing something you love? do it and experience it and if it hurts in the end at least you know you were brave enough to take a chance. afraid of wasting away your 20s in grad school? make the most out your social life. dump bad company and associate yourself w good vibes. balance this with hard work and it’ll be so worth it in the end. feeling inadequate and lost? take advantage of the internet. blahtherapy.com is where i used to vent my problems out anonymously to strangers and it was rlly comforting for me. research and discover your interests and how you can pursue them. stop settling for a life the world has given you and create your own life with the resources you’ve been given.

[starving-creativity]

I can’t wait for this AI bubble to burst

[starlitt]

C!ERET ILY AND AM SCARED FOR THE MOMENT YOU REALIZE WHAT HAPPENED WHEN WILBUR WENT TO POGTOPIA

//mentions of c!fundy’s death, suicide

Eret didn’t expect to see anyone at this hour, but yet again, they came to realize nothing ever seemed to go as planned upon arriving to these lands.

“Wilbur, I didn’t expect to see you back so soon-”

“You lied to me.”

Oh. “What?”

The revived man stiffened and Eret swore she saw his eyebrow twitch. Did something happen?

“Oh don’t act dumb, you knew Niki wouldn’t be there!” Wilbur took a step forward. Eret found himself backing up.

“You knew Niki hated that place—I even knew that—but you told me she was there! And so I go, because I want to apologize but I arrive and she’s not there.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “But do you wanna know who was?”

“Fundy.” Eret didn’t know who said it first but that didn’t seem to matter, because here he was now standing in front of a man who’s looked like he lost everything.

“How- how’d it go? With Fundy I mean.”

Wilbur looked at him like he was mad then laughed. A forced, bitter laugh. The sound made Eret cringe.

“How did it go you say?” Another step forward, another step back, it was a terrible dance Eret has unfortunately gotten themselves into. “He wanted nothing to do with me! He told me he didn’t want to be near me, to leave him alone and…”

Eret suddenly feared the worst, no longer listening to what Wilbur was saying in fear of hearing what he so dreaded to hear but then Wilbur’s voice suddenly softened and he heard it.

“He jumped.” Eret felt his chest tighten, squeezing out all the air left in their lungs as the following words made her head spin. “He jumped off the ledge into the crater and now I don’t even know if he’s gone or not. He says he’s moved far away, packed up his life and left, but even if he respawned somewhere I don’t know where he is.”

Eret watched as the revived man crumbled to the ground. Watched as the man who always wanted to be on top fell straight to the ground.

“Why did you lie? Why? You said it would be Niki, why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Would you have still gone if I did?” Eret didn’t say it out loud, though, he had a feeling Wilbur already knew that was what’s waiting on the tip of her tongue.

[starlitt]

contains: mentions of blood.

—

“Did he-” Tina stopped herself as she got closer to the fairy, noticing how the skin around her wings—or where they once were—was covered in blood. “Did he rip them out?”

Her voice had gotten quiet as she asked but Hannah still heard her.

Positive that she wouldn’t be able to get a word out before the tears threatening to fall would follow, Hannah instead mutely nodded, her head hanging low.

However, when a gentle hand landed on her shoulder and began rubbing comforting circles on her skin she lost it. The tears were uncontrollable as Tina pulled her into a hug, letting her cry into her shoulder as she continued comforting her the best she could, careful to not touch too close to where her wings were ripped out. The sight pained Tina to see and sent shivers down her spine just imagining the pain she must’ve went through.

“I’m sorry my little fairy.” Tina’s voice was soft, gentle. Much more gentle than Boomer when he…

“Sit down, I’ll clean you up and patch it up.”