Now that axes begin fall on the careers of GM's around the league let's put our own resume in for the job. Actually, no resume needed- you are hired. First line of business is to evaluate the draft class. Taking in three critical categories to determine success in the NFL. 1: Talent (easy to assess with modern day stat collections) 2: Character (little bit more complicated, but a rap sheet, or better yet lack there of, will help- as will scholastic report cards and coach endorsements) 3: Finally we need to evaluate the athletes' ability to remain on the field. I wish a player's ability to stay healthy in football had more to do with the player than the brutal nature of the game. Like, eat your vegetables and keep a limber physique then you won't blow your ACL when you get horse-collared and a 300lb man falls on your knee. Right. Good luck with this one, GM. Alright let's just pretend that a thorough evaluation of the top 7 players at each of the 280 Division 1 schools (ever look at 2000 resumes for 7 available jobs?) is relatively straightforward & manageable. Success shouldn't be too elusive, after all, as GM you will have some scouts. (Maybe we should look at the scouts resumes- are they even expected to have played football beyond high school? Takes one to know one?) So now you have to assemble your top choices. Don't forget to have back up choices- about 10+ deep, since you are racing 31 other teams in a timed draft. So get all those agents numbers on speed dial. (Agents deserve an entire post to themselves- but just in case your child has professional athlete ability, do me a favor: DO NOT BELEIVE THAT AN AGENT CAN PREDICT WHERE OR WHEN YOUR CHILD WILL BE DRAFTED, unless your kid is the next Andrew Luck, and the Peyton Manning of his generation couldn't resuscitate his nerve endings. And please don't ever let your kid's agent be or recommend a financial advisor- keep those as far apart as possible. My opinion.) Got all your picks and back up picks? Now if you are like any of my friends who picked fantasy teams, from pools of already proven players, you will most likely feel like a shmuck before the final player reports to camp. But, whatever! If you had seven kids one probably cramps your ego daily - you've got six others to make the family proud. Great job, GM! You made it through your first draft! How are your players doing? Are the seven 21 or 22 year-olds acting like professionals? Are you able to keep the clubbing, baby mamas, needy girlfriends or wives or both, financially strapped family members and the players' own child-like ambitions for fancy cars and fame in check long enough to get them through training camp, learn a playbook and on the active roster? But wait, EHBreezy, If I was a newly drafted professional athlete I wouldn't do what all my peers were doing. I would want to work diligently for the GM who believed in me. I would ask myself: What is this GM putting on the line for me? His career! I would rally my draft class and we would all come together for the sake of our team's success, our city's pride and the owner's championship dreams. We wouldn't go up in the clubs or even stay up late playing Madden. And you better believe there will be no drugs, promiscuity or run-ins with the law. We wouldn't even write our memoir before we retire a la Tim Tebow. We would be all-football all the time. Gosh, that's what we're getting paid for, after all! Right. That scenario is as likely as the entire draft class coming from two-parent homes where reading and community service are as revered as celebrity and reality TV. Blaming the GM for their draftees inability to become instant or even eventual Pro Bowlers, or a team's inability to make the playoffs- again, is like saying eating bacon makes you fat- what other crap has been piled into the equation? If I were an owner I'd start the firing closer to the field if I wanted real change. A GM is just an analyst and a gambler. The few who are willing to stick their neck out in leadership positions have to make major gambles. Against all odds, will the young men they bet on do what most of us won't: reach their potential? If the loss of a job, even publicly, is a GM's darkest moment- they are pretty blessed. So go ahead, celebrate the public firings of the GM's that didn't draft a Brian Urlacher, Ray Lewis or Tom Brady (draft pick #199 FYI lucky is better than good) every year. But I promise you this: being a member of Hater Nation only takes you further away from reaching your own potential. Be inspiring.
