#jessecore

[therealslimshakespeare]

So glad you're back; I've missed you around here! And glad that you're accepting Sarge headcanons, because:

We know that Jesse plays football, and Jesse is damn good at football. But! I believe in my soul that Jesse is just...freakishly good at anything athletic. I picture him as a three-sport athlete in high school (football is the most important, but you know this boy can play baseball and basketball too). And beyond ball sports, Jesse's a natural at things like karate, bowling, mini golf, dancing...anything that he can use to put that body to work. 😂

Thank you! I missed all y’all! 🥰

Also, fuck you’re so right. Honestly there’s not a really boy who’s not sorta obviously decent at every athletic thing required of them at any given time but Danny sometimes has better things to do and Jack is sometimes too blaisé to be bothered which means that -despite not being one to hog the limelight- Jesse often shines in that role to a tilt spectacle degree.

Like, random af things too, even as he gets older and remains more private than his TikTok Live Addicted Bro and his Literal State Governor Baby Brother.

Catch him throwing the first pitch at a baseball game and that shit is smooth. It’s gorgeous, so is he. Everyone rewatches the slo-mo of it for ages.

Also feels like he’d love to coach kids. Nothin to intense or competitive but he’s real good at it and he’s so good at the sports himself everyone do be in awe over him. Of course Donna has never seen anything hotter than her mid-40’s husband shooting hoops in his short shorts.

Also. BOWLING KING. Fuck he’s so good at bowling it enrages his family.

You’re so valid for all this anon. I’m addicted now.

[cloudiwithachanceofmeatballs]

This set of images got me cacklin

[dear-wormwoods]

Do you have a theme in favorite characters or is it just random ?

OOH good question! It’s not an intentional theme, but I do tend to favor characters who fit a certain mold (although they’re all really different on a deeper level), and if I start watching or reading something new, my friends can almost always guess who’s going to be my favorite right away.

My favorites are usually characters who are seen as weak on the outside, or are underestimated, but have an inner strength and perseverance that make them real survivors. They’re almost always idealistic and romantic, maybe a bit naive, and deeply emotional, because I relate to all of that. I like characters with a strong moral compass but who also struggle a lot with trusting their gut instincts, and can be guided off the right path due to their naivety or lack of self esteem - but will bounce back from it. Also they are usually kind of neurotic, intense and passionate, and typically have been dealt a rough hand in life… like I said, I like survivors, and I LOVE characters who get put through a lot of shit but never lose their inherent Goodness and devotion to justice, though they might build a wall up to make their soft hearts appear less vulnerable.

Basically all of my favorites fit most or all of that description, haha. Also my top favorites often have at least one overbearing or controlling parent (though Sonia is by far, BY FAR the worst), but it’s not always the case. 

[therealslimshakespeare]

You invited me to share my Sarge/Jesse headcanons, so...here we go! Don't say I didn't warn you!

This is different from your headcanon of Jesse producing music/living on a ranch with Donna (which I adore), but I secretly headcanon Jesse as a pro athlete. Does this go against his Jesse nature in many ways (quiet, not wanting to be in the spotlight)? Yes. But! I cannot get the idea of Jesse playing pro football out of my head. I feel like he wouldn't intend to go pro at first, but he's just so damn good. I like this both because I'm thirsty and because I love the idea of Jesse becoming famous for something entirely his own independent of Sarge and Presley Life, just because he's so good at his thing. I know this is a weird one, but it's stuck in my head!

Jesse and Donna have all the kids, and Jesse shares Daddy Sarge's propensity for finding his pregnant wife beautiful. Jesse is not expecting this, but when Donna gets pregnant Jesse is 🥵 just like Sarge was with Elaine. Speaking of pregnancy, I feel like Donna and Elaine would bond SO much over that, because Donna doesn't have her mom around, and she's the only one of Elaine's daughters (Donna is Elaine's daughter and I will take no questions on this, Your Honor) who's having babies other than Ella during that time.

Jesse is like a second dad to the younger kiddos. No shade on Sarge, he'll always be Daddy, but Jesse is that stable male figure the lil ones can always count on to give them advice, listen without judgment, or just throw the ball around.

Anyway! This concludes my essay on the fictional son of a semi-fictional man. Thank you all for being my captive audience.

This was such a treat?!!! Thank you!!! I am absolutely smitten with all these headcanons, they ring so true to me. I’m delighting in how you walked that balance between this boy being his dad’s carbon copy in many ways and yet also someone who purposefully -if also quietly- forges a very different path for himself.

Like being obsessed with his pregnant wife…you’re damn right and he’s such a king for that. 🤤

Also you’re so right, I think in some ways Elaine might have the least complicated relationship with Donna out of all her “daughters.” And I think that’s sweet for them both! And Jesse basks in the fact they love each other so much and it’s just a soft and easy thing.

Jesse 100% is father figure to the kids 🗣️ like, sarge is daddy and he’s boss but…

And then also, you’ve really sold me on the football career, I love your reasoning so much

[redroom-rainbowguts]

My worth lies in my ability to

Entertain

Entertain

Entertain

[theythemgf]

hate living in a deep red state brb gonna d*e