Dec 26, 2021
Since it's his bday, here some of my Jesus headcanons:
He glows in the dark slightly
All of the miracles were involuntary, but he could feel them coming on, like a sneeze, so he had time to find people who needed it
He liked feet, in a sexual way.
He asked his disciples to find him a donkey because he didn't know how to ride a horse & it would be less embarrassing to fall off a donkey
He fucked, like, all the time
He could talk to animals
The disciples were just Jesus's mlm polycule
He was a super good pole dancer (what is crucifixion if not very restricted pole dancing anyway)
