There was no other word Jitoki could think of to describe what she’d brought upon herself. It was the only thing she could think of in her numbed state of mind, staring blankly down away from the Officer rattling on.
This wasn’t some random break-in or kidnapping gone wrong.
This was a something she set in motion herself.
“I waited for you!” she remembered Gotsuki’s anguished screams. “I put up with so much pain because I thought you were searching!”
Getting her face nearly smashed in was nothing compared to the piercing cries of a daughter abandoned.
“Why did you leave me?” Gotsuki bawled between strikes. “Why did you let them hurt me? Why didn’t you love me? Why? WHY!?”
Jitoki would loved to sooth the scorned child’s heart by spinning a narrative of Mr. J tricking her into thinking she was led off the fairgrounds. That the circus skipped town before she got to the police.
No.
The truth was that Gotsuki was unplanned, a sudden burden to take care of after the father no-showed. She was tight on money and the stigma of being a single mother was hard to shake off.
So when the gangly clown took Gotsuki by the hand, Jitoki stopped and let her be taken. Like a car running on fumes, she finally seized up. Perhaps the circus would take pity on a poor child.
It would be years before she could cope with her crushing guilt until she found who she believed to be Mr. Right. When Mezu was born, she even promised to do right by her new daughter.
But here she was. Her husband abandoning her after learning the truth of Gotsuki. Her second daughter taken by her first, the one she betrayed. The more it plagued her mind, the more she felt she should’ve seen this coming.
Now… it was her being left behind.
———
This is part of my AU where Jitoki has survived to reap the consequences of her actions.
Her left eye being only visible contrasts with Gotsuki’s murderous right eye as well as the diverging timelines in the music video.
Inspired by this absolutely masterful music video:
Story Time with all the angst and trauma you can ask for:
Gotsuki was rooted to the spot the second she looked up.
Her mother. She was right there. After all these years, Gotsuki found her.
Right there.
With... a man she was smiling with.
And... a baby girl in his arms.
Her eye stared without blinking even once, wide with distraught born quickly from what had been confusion. But she couldn't deny what was right in front of her, waiting for the bus without a care.
All that labor that wore her down.
All those whippings for so much as asking for more than scraps.
All those performances across the trapeze.
And without a safety net at that.
Yet all this time... her mother was doing just fine with not just a man to lean on but a new daughter.
A replacement.
So when the Akuma fluttered on along and imbued itself in her umbrella, it hardly fazed Gotsuki.
If anything, the androgynous purple presence was a welcome guest as it held her left hand.
"Hello," they greeted, a voice that fluctuated between female, male and variants in-between. "Excuse my intrusion but your cry for help was too deafening for me to ignore."
The misty purple figure reappeared in front of Gotsuki, this time very small while holding a balloon.
"You clung so hard to hope," the little one sighed in sympathy. "Hope that she was out there searching for you."
The little one then swung around and grew, the balloon morphing into a whip that they struck Gotsuki with. Not once did she flinch, numbly staring as always.
"But you were never lost..." they spoke with every whipping. "And there she is, doing better without you."
Gotsuki only leaned her head down slightly to see her mother, her lover and... that little spore. All the way down, laughing their cares away, from the heights she knew well in her performances.
"I did it all for her," Gotsuki coldly spoke aloud. "I flung myself into the air just to get her to even see."
The purple form came back to hold her hand like a daughter with her loving mother.
"If she only knew the decade of pain that you suffered," the purple form resumed, "all because of her callousness in carding you off." They turned their gaze towards her slowly. "But then... that's why you called upon me, wasn't it?"
Gotsuki's cold stare ignite steadily into a smouldering glare.
"Make it hurt..." she declared furiously, raising her head up high. "For each and every miserable day..."
"Let the carnage ensue..." the purple form began, holding Gotsuki out in the palm of their hand, "oh, I don't believe I got your name."
"Miss G will suffice," she decided, her mind traveling to the relentless ringmaster.
Chrysalis closed her hand upon her newest champion. Her raw fury boiled over her umbrella and engulfed Gotsuki. Today, the Akuma was privilege to feast on a special kind of despair. The kind fermented across years and years. From a little girl that never truly grew up.
------
If this little drabble and art intrigued you, then I highly recommend checking out the linked music video. The song is deceptively upbeat and the animated short that goes with it is impeccable visual storytelling. I couldn't help but imagine a Miraculous AU where Gotsuki exacts revenge in a different kind.
Check out the original artist, they do great work here.
This is the prototype to an AU that will involve this music video and TOOBOE's Tablet. If you know, you know.
