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honeybees, i'm home - Jizztho Traffic Life Superpowers AU

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Rating: Teen

Relationship: Mutli, Other (Polyam Jizztho Fic)

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Status: Completed Oneshot

Word Count: 3,924

Summary: For the most part, Etho loved their life. Their job as a hero could be entertaining sometimes and their domestic, civilian life with their husband and wife contained some of the favorite moments they've ever experienced. Despite their deep affection for their partners, Etho was forced to grapple with the inability to kiss them due to their dangerous ability. They expressed their love and care in other ways, but that desire still lingered in the back of their mind...

This fic is standalone, but click here to read the whole AU on AO3

Full fanfic underneath the cut! Please reblog, leave kudos on the AO3 fic slash notes/likes here on Tumblr, comment either place, and etc if you enjoy the story :D

As much as Etho valued their job as a hero, they preferred their time as a civilian. Being a hero had its perks and times of excitement, but Slab- their alter ego’s name- wasn’t the one who got to do the stuff that made life worth it. Etho was the one who went canoeing with Joel on sunny days. Etho was the one participating in month-long tournaments of competitive couponing against Lizzie. Etho was the one enjoying the life they earned because of their work as Slab.

Unfortunately for them, today had not been a day where they could live as a civilian. It was a work kind of day, full of patrols and wasting away in the lab section of the Traffic City Hero Agency.

The patrols were interesting, at the very least. Etho had been able to stop and arrest a group of rookie thieves that robbed a jewelry store. It wasn’t much, but it was something, and it was better than sitting in a lab while the scientists tested and observed their spit.

Etho’s spit was toxic at varying levels. With focus and after a lot of practice, Etho had become skilled in controlling the concentration of toxins in their saliva and determining their effects. Without that focus, however, the toxins acted unpredictably, doing as they pleased.

That fact was the reason why they always wore a mask over their mouth as both a hero and a civilian, and why they never ate around other people. They barely felt comfortable making an exception for their spouses while in the privacy of their own home! There was always a chance that they would accidentally poison someone. Even if it wasn’t a lethal dose, Etho didn’t want to be responsible for causing an innocent person harm, especially when that innocent person was someone so close to them.

Hanging around in the lab was the last item on their agenda before they could go home. Once the scientists collected all they needed from them, Etho wasted no time in leaving. It was safe to say that they didn’t need to be told twice.

Etho arrived at the two-story house they shared with their hero partners, who also happen to be their husband and their wife. They were a team at work and while at home, each doing tasks to support each other. This structure worked well for them and Etho would always feel lucky to be a part of it, even when they felt as if they weren’t enough for them sometimes.

It wasn’t Lizzie or Joel’s fault, but some of Etho’s own insecurities lingering from their childhood. Their upbringing hadn’t been the most supportive or friendly, but they did their best to conceal the deep wounds and scars left by it.

While they had grown confident in their abilities, doubts still hovered. The mind wasn’t always kind, but therapy and loving, tenderhearted words from their spouses greatly aided in combating such thoughts.

“Honeybees, I’m home!” Etho called to complete the ritual as they entered the house and slipped off their shoes.

The ritual had been started by Lizzie and continued by both Etho and Joel. It was the phrase they all used when announcing their arrival home. They would sometimes use it even when they were all walking in together! It was a play off of “Honey, I’m home!” but using their shared last name instead.

When the three of them were engaged, there was some talk about what they would do with their last names. They wanted to share one instead of all of them keeping their own last name so there had been a lot to talk about and consider. After some discussion, they decided to take on Lizzie’s last name, hence “Honeybee”.

“Etho! Welcome home!” Lizzie greeted, though she sounded a lot more panicked than glad to see them. “Uhhh, don’t come to the kitchen. No reason why, just, busy! Stay there and- ah!”

Etho raised an eyebrow at Lizzie’s commotion. When they heard something drop on the floor, they decided to break the order and make their way toward the kitchen. When they turned the corner, they understood why Lizzie didn’t want them to come near.

The kitchen was a mess. Ingredient containers were scattered all over the counters, dirty bowls and spoons stacked up in the sink, something smelled burnt, the microwave door was still open from melting butter, and flour coated Lizzie and part of the floor.

When they made eye contact, Lizzie simply gave them a guilty, “I know I made a mess” smile and Etho responded with a light chuckle. “Would you like help cleaning up?” “Yes, please.” Lizzie let out a breath as her shoulders and fairy wings relaxed from their previously stiffened position. “I was trying to finish this cake before you and Joel got back, but I got distracted and burnt the first cake so then I had to start another one, it’s in the oven, but I made a mess and…”

Etho had expected her to say more, but she just gestured hopelessly at the chaos around them. They walked around the kitchen island to give her a hug, ignoring the flour that got on them as well, and pressed a brief “kiss” against her forehead. It wasn’t a proper kiss because of their mask (they wouldn’t have gotten this close without it) but the clothed kiss simulated the intent behind it.

“If you sweep, I’ll get started on the dishes,” Etho offered, knowing Lizzie’s distaste for it. She enjoyed baking, but she (understandably) didn’t enjoy the clean up as much, especially the dish washing. Etho often took on that chore as a labor of love for her.

“Deal,” Lizzie agreed, going to grab the broom from its spot in the pantry.

As they started to clean, Etho remembered Lizzie’s previous comment and noticed the distinct lack of their husband from the downstairs area. Because of that remembrance, they asked, “Did the agency call Joel in too?” “Mhm,” Lizzie confirmed as she crouched down to sweep the flour into the dustpan. “They called for him a few hours ago. I assumed he was being called in to help you but, when you came home without him, I figured they needed him for something else. I doubt they’ll keep him out for much longer, so we should hurry up!”

By the time all of the dishes were washed and air drying on the drying rack, the cake’s timer went off. Lizzie opened the oven with one hand, using her other one to grab the fork she had set aside to see if the cake was done. She stabbed its middle with the fork’s prongs before pulling it out and announcing, “It’s done! And not burnt this time!”

“Good job,” Etho praised her as she pulled the cake out of the oven. They took the fork from her to wash and, once the cake was placed on the cooling rack, they took the cake pan as well. “Go change, maybe take a shower to get the flour out of your hair, and I’ll finish up here. There isn’t much left.” “Really? Thank you!” Lizzie’s blue eyes lit up beautifully, as they often do. She practically bounced over to them and gave them a quick, from-behind hug before running up the stairs to her bedroom.

They were well off financially, which was a given considering they lived off of three heroes salaries, and their housing situation reflected that. Their upstairs level had three bedrooms, one for each of the spouses. It was so they could have their own spaces to decorate, have their desk setups, and to hang out alone in if they so chose to. One might think that it unnecessarily separated them and caused distance within their marriage, but they usually (more often than not) ended up having “sleepovers” in each other's beds. Even then, that was assuming they didn’t pass out, cuddled together in front of the television after another long shift.

Once Etho finished restoring the kitchen to what it looked like before Lizzie started baking, they went up to their own bedroom to gather clothes for a quick shower. They took extremely short showers, especially compared to the length of time Lizzie and Joel would spend when taking theirs. Those two could use the entirety of the warm water tank on one shower if you let them and they weren’t trying to rush themselves.

Etho had gotten themself cleaned and downstairs before Lizzie was out of the shower. While waiting for her, they put the cake in the fridge to cool down the rest of the way so Lizzie could put frosting on it before she went to bed if she wanted to. Etho sat down on the couch and opened the book they had sitting on the side table, waiting for Lizzie. About forty minutes after Lizzie joined them to read her own book, Joel entered the house and whined, “Honeybees, I’m home and I’ve molted!”

Lizzie and Etho exchanged a look, knowing what that entailed all too well. Joel was a bug hybrid and his skin acted sort of like an exoskeleton or body armor. When he took too much damage, he would literally molt it off so the undamaged skin underneath could protect him instead. Unfortunately for him, the skin underneath was not instantly battle-worthy and it took several days to harden appropriately. The exact length differed depending on a multitude of factors, such as nutrient intake, energy levels, and how much damage he had taken.

“My skin is all soft and mushy,” Joel continued to complain, sounding much like he wanted to cry but was trying not to. They had done this enough times with him that they didn’t even bother to remind him that most people’s skin was soft and squishy.

“Oh, come here, love,” Lizzie bookmarked her book with a scrap piece of paper before beckoning Joel to cuddle up against her. Joel, ever so careful, sat down next to Lizzie and leaned into her. She wrapped her arm, along with the fluffy blanket she also had, around him. “I know, it doesn’t feel good. I don’t like when I’m on my period either.”

“It’s not a period,” Joel denied weakly but his efforts were in vain. His mood right after molting was as stable, if not worse, than Lizzie’s when her period was really getting to her. Lizzie had made that joke early on in their relationship and it stuck as the term Lizzie and Etho used to refer to his current state.

“There’s no shame in having a period, Joel.” Lizzie smiled fondly at her husband as he grumbled nonsense words in response and curled up tighter against her. She brushed some of his hair out of his face so it wasn’t in his eyes.

“I’ll turn up the heat a few degrees.” Etho went to go do as they said they would, wanting to be useful as Lizzie comforted Joel. Warm places helped Joel feel more comfortable when on his period.

What else helped? Etho silently ran through their mental list to make note of what else they should do for him. Lots of water and nutrients shortened the length of the period, though, when Lizzie was on her period, she appreciated chocolate, heating pads, pain medication, and tea.

Joel didn’t experience cramps or pain in a concentrated spot, so a blanket could be more useful and provide broader coverage compared to a heating pad. Pain medication didn’t effectively alleviate his discomfort because it was a different type of pain. However, chocolate and tea could improve his mood. As for nutrients and water, they could be addressed later assuming he had a good lunch earlier. Etho would have to check the pantry to see what chocolate and tea options were available, but he knew they had some.

“No.” Joel stopped Etho in their tracks at the word as he shook his head. Etho raised an eyebrow in question of his refusal. “It’s warm enough in here. I don’t want it to be too warm or you two will get too hot.”

Etho nodded slowly. Okay, that made sense. “Would you like something else instead? Any comfort foods? Something to drink? Another blanket?”

“Kisses,” Joel answered very matter-of-factly. He stared at Etho, his brown eyes seemingly (definitely) pleading with them. Void, it was always hard to say no to him. “Kisses would make me feel better. And not the chocolate ones.”

“Uh,” Etho hesitated dumbly, not sure what to do in response. They had purposely stayed away from properly kissing either of their spouses the entirety of their relationship. Each time one of them asked, they would turn it down or find a way to distract them. This time, they decided to divert it with a masked kiss on the forehead, near-identical to what they gave Lizzie earlier. “Lizzie can give you the other kisses while I go get you food. Would you like anything in particular to eat?”

“Etho hasn’t told us that they are ready for that yet, love,” Lizzie reminded Joel but she glanced at Etho anyway, “but they know that we would be more than willing if they wanted to try.”

Etho was grateful for the face mask if only because it hid their blush. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to, but it was because they couldn’t. Their saliva had the potential to kill them and Etho didn’t want to lose them, especially not in such a dreadful and preventable way.

Instead of saying anything, they stayed silent. Etho settled down on the other couch and watched as their spouses lovingly kissed each other. It was nice to see them engage in that form of intimacy, even if Etho could never experience what it was like. Sure, Etho was curious, but they could (would have to) be okay knowing that Joel and Lizzie had each other to experience it with each other.

Joel grinned like a giddy child on Christmas morning as his kiss with Lizzie broke. His grin stayed but morphed into a slightly more cocky one as he turned to Etho. “Not that I blame you for staring, seeing that I’m insanely attractive and handsome, and that she’s basically a goddess, but you could join in.”

“I can’t-” Etho started, but they struggled to find the words. Their face flushed like they had been caught doing something they shouldn’t have, but that wasn’t true. Lizzie and Joel had both told them time and time again that it was okay to exist around them, even when they were kissing each other. They had said it was up to Etho’s comfort levels and that Etho didn’t have to leave the room whenever they got handsy with each other if they were okay with being there.

“Can’t or won’t?” Joel challenged, narrowing his eyes.

“Joel, don’t press them,” Lizzie tried to get Joel to back down, but Joel had his target set on Etho.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Joel shifted his attention to Lizzie, but he gestured towards Etho. “They won’t kiss us because they’re scared of their ability. They clearly want to, but they’re pushing us away. Are we just going to wait around until they finally get over themselves? We’re blummin’ married and I can’t even kiss them- not because they don’t want to, but because they’ve decided they’re ‘too dangerous’ or whatever excuse it is this time.”

“I am dangerous.” Etho insisted as they rose to their feet, not appreciating that dismissal. Did they truly not understand the risks? “I could kill you.” “Or you could not. You can control it when you’re paying attention.” Joel detached himself from Lizzie to stand up with them, the green antennas on his head twitching.

“Plus, we have antidotes if something goes wrong, which it won’t,” Lizzie contributed. Etho knew she also wanted what Joel did but she was much more willing to wait it out than Joel was. Joel tended to dive head first into everything he did, not afraid of a challenge, while Lizzie at least tried to have a plan and stick with it, though she was not always successful and some of her plans were overzealous.

“Yes, what Lizzie said.” Joel crossed the room to where Etho was standing and shoved them back down to the couch, not that Etho resisted. He climbed onto their lap and gripped Etho’s collar. Joel leaned forward to whisper in Etho’s ear, “If you really want me to stop, say something, or push me away, but you don’t have to. I trust you and Lizzie trusts you. I don’t understand why you’re still scared.”

Etho’s heart thumped loudly in their chest, but they didn’t push Joel away nor did they tell Joel to stop. Joel had waited several heartbeats, his breath hot against Etho’s ear. When Etho continued not to push away, Joel pressed a kiss against their ear before using his teeth to detach the band holding the mask in place on the left side of their head. The mask dropped, now only hanging off of their right ear, as Joel trailed down to pepper kisses on their neck.

“Joel,” Etho tried to bite back a moan, despite how much they wanted it. Their spouses had seen them without their mask before, which meant they were aware of their pointed teeth and freakishly long tongue, so that wasn’t why Etho was hesitant. Their saliva was still the main concern, screaming loudly and blaring warning alarms in Etho’s mind.

“I want to kiss you, Etho, and you want to kiss me.” Joel pulled away just enough to look them in the eyes wanting to prove to them that he meant it. “You’re not making me do anything. You are not tricking me. I understand the blummin’ risks but I trust you and I love you. What else do you need?”

You. Etho didn’t bother to answer aloud as they closed the gap between themself and Joel, initiating their first lip-locked kiss. Joel buffered for a split-second, not expecting it at that exact moment, before reciprocating with much more energy and fire behind it than he had with the kisses against Etho’s neck.

Etho wasn’t sure how long the kiss lasted, but they found that they enjoyed the sensation more than they thought they might. When they finally separated, Joel started to giggle in a much higher tone than he ever really did. “That was hot.”

Panic overtook Etho as their earlier anxieties came back to them. Had they poisoned Joel? They meant to control it the whole time, but they stopped focusing on it soon after they started. “Are you okay?” “He’s okay,” Lizzie promised, walking over to sit next to them. She had grown familiar with their saliva’s effects, spending a lot of time looking over the lab results the Traffic City Hero Agency gathered. Honestly, she may know more about their own ability then they themself did. “You just made him really happy, yes, with your ability, but mostly because he’s been wanting to kiss you forever.” Etho didn’t respond to her comforting words, but they nonverbally accepted the explanation. They knew all of that and Joel did look stupidly happy. It was silly to observe, of course, but also sort of adorable and charming.

Joel climbed off of Etho’s lap to give them space, stepping and spinning until he was close enough to plop down on the other couch with the fuzzy blanket. He curled it around himself, boasting proudly, “I got to kiss my gorgeous wife and my gorgeous spouse! I’m the luckiest man ever.”

“Even though you’re on your period?” Lizzie asked lightheartedly, not used to seeing him this happy this soon after it started and wanting to enjoy it. Joel was usually a lot more clingy and whiny the first day as he got used to having softer skin again.

“I can be lucky and on my period, babe.” That was Joel’s version of an answer, though his words were mostly muttered as his eyes fluttered closed. It made sense that he would be tired, considering he had gotten hurt enough at work that he had to molt. Joel proved that he wasn’t tired enough to sleep though when he kept talking. “Hot men get periods.”

“I never said they don’t,” Lizzie replied fondly before promptly getting distracted by Etho unhooking their mask and placing it on the side table. “Do you not want to wear your mask anymore?”

“Not right now. I will put it back on later, though.” The mask was a comfort, even if it didn’t have a practical reason attached to it. Etho reached forward to cup Lizzie’s face, but they chickened out. Instead of holding her face, they diverted the motion to tuck some of her pink hair behind her ear. “Lizzie, can I…?”

“Can you…?” Lizzie prompted with a sort of bashful tone to her voice. Etho wasn’t sure if they had placed the emotion correctly, but they didn’t dwell on it.

Etho took a deep breath, hyping themself up in their own head, before committing to cupping Lizzie’s face this time. “Lizzie, can I kiss you?”

“Of course you can, you idiot.” Lizzie’s insult didn’t wound them because they knew she didn’t mean it negatively and, even if she did, they likely deserved it. “And, before you tell yourself otherwise, remember what I have told you many times before: I love you, I trust you, and I know you would never hurt me on purpose. Joel and I both know that and we both care deeply for you. We wouldn’t have married you otherwise. At least, I wouldn’t have.”

Much more confident in their ability to kiss without hurting their partner this time, Etho initiated it without any more hesitations. Lizzie’s lips were soft and she tasted sweet, sort of like cake. She must have eaten some of the cake batter that she had made earlier that afternoon. Lizzie smelled just like the shower products they had gotten a coupon for awhile back. It suited her well; maybe they should get that brand again. Etho would have to look out for another coupon for the shower products to surprise her with it. She would be excited if they could find one.

When they broke from the kiss, Lizzie was also grinning from ear to ear but Etho was matching it. They were much less vocal than Joel had been, neither of them saying a word as Lizzie leaned into their chest. Etho held her close, letting her stay like that as they rested their head on her shoulder. After a while, Etho shifted their positioning so they could pick her up and carry her to the couch Joel was on.

Sitting down on the couch, they let Lizzie rearrange herself to find a comfortable position next to them while Joel just leaned his body more into Etho. None of them were quite ready to sleep, but the moment to cuddle presented itself and none of them thought to refuse it.

Joel reached for the remote and turned on the television. He curled back up against Etho as he flicked through shows in their watch later list to find one all three of them had been watching together. Etho didn’t really care nor did they pay attention to what Joel picked out. The buzz they felt from their spouses' affection was more enough to keep them content at the moment, nothing else mattered quite as much.

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