Part 2 “What Are We Doing?”
Pairing: Jungkook × Reader (Y/N)
Genre: Smut | Angst | Brother’s Best Friend | Secret Romance
Rating: 🔞 18+ (Mature Content)
The morning light streamed through the blinds, soft and golden, painting streaks across Jungkook’s bare back as he sat at the edge of the bed, pulling on his shirt.
You were still tangled in the sheets, body sore in the best ways, but your heart pounded with something other than desire now—reality.
“Jungkook...” you said softly.
He turned, hair messy, tattoos visible, eyes softer than you’d ever seen them. “Yeah?”
“What are we doing?”
He paused, looking at you like he wanted to say a hundred things but didn’t know where to start.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “But I don't regret last night.”
Your chest tightened. “Neither do I. But what if he finds out?”
He ran a hand through his hair. “Then I’ll deal with it. I’m not gonna pretend like I don’t want you, Y/N. I’ve wanted you for a long time.”
Your breath hitched. “Then why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“Because you’re my best friend’s little sister,” he said, voice low. “That used to mean ‘hands off.’ But now... now I don’t think I can pretend anymore.”
Silence.
The kind that buzzed in the air and made your stomach twist.
You nodded slowly. “So what happens now?”
He walked back over, leaned down, and kissed your forehead—gentle, unhurried. “We keep this just between us… for now. If that’s what you want.”
You hesitated—then nodded.
You wanted this. You wanted him.
A week later...
The secret burned deliciously behind every stolen glance, every brush of his hand when no one was looking. At your brother’s apartment, Jungkook acted like nothing had changed—but when your eyes met across the kitchen, you both knew.
“Hey, Y/N,” your brother called. “Can you hand me another beer?”
You walked past Jungkook, brushing your fingers along his as you grabbed the drink from the fridge.
He smirked behind his bottle, lips barely moving as he whispered, “You look good in that dress.”
Heat spreads through you instantly. You turned to leave—only to feel a sharp tug on your wrist.
He pulled you into the hallway when no one was watching, pressing you against the wall.
“You drive me crazy,” he whispered, lips brushing yours. “I swear I almost kissed you in front of him.”
You bit back a smile. “Would’ve made things real awkward.”
His hands slid down your waist, fingers gripping your thighs. “You think I care?”
“Jungkook,” you warned playfully. “He’s just in the other room.”
“Then stay quiet,” he growled, pushing your leg up around his waist.
And you did.You stayed quiet—biting your lip to keep from moaning as he kissed down your neck, his hand sliding up your thigh beneath your dress. It was fast, desperate, risky. The kind of mistake you’d make a thousand times if it meant feeling him like that.
Just as things started to heat up, your brother shouted from the living room, “Yo! Jungkook, you good?”
Jungkook pulled back, panting, pupils blown. “I will be,” he whispered with a devilish grin.
He winked and walked out like nothing happened—leaving you breathless, burning, and aching for more.
To be continued....
Thanks for all the support already. I'm almost done with the next part so might be a double post today.
DISCLAIMER: this is just a preview and if you'd like to read more pls lmk by reposting or liking!!
pairings: nerd!jungkook x popular!female reader
genre: fluff, angst, slow burn but not really
synopsis: he admired you from a distance. everyone did. you're serene, words dance like ballerinas of your tongue, stars aligning when you laugh, the wind was made to sway with your hair, you were just too good for the world, and you would never know his name.
warnings: !! graphic deceptions of domestic abuse!! , jungkook is a little too in love, oc is kinda obsessed too, mentions of alcohol and drug abuse,
a/n: if you're triggered by domestic abuse pls don't read, i will write other stories without a single mention of it soon, im sorry i love you :( this story is just everything i wanted to write for so long and i hope you don't think its cliche lol
masterlist | fic rec blog
14 days
A loud smack echoed in the dark living room, the smell of alcohol making him sick to his stomach, cheek red from the impact. He carefully held his palm up against his cheek as he prayed to god for someone to save him from this awful household, and his father's clutch.
Jungkook wasn't a crier, he had grown accustomed to the lack of parental love, yet it still stung a little when he heard his father curse at him, questioning why he even had kids. Dragging his feet down the wood-covered halls, Jungkook scrunched his nose in disgust as he saw mold growing on the walls, and he had no idea what to do with it.
His feet took him all the way to his room, dimly lit up with a little nightlight he had bought at the town's annual festival, and next to it was a birthday card from a few years back, which you had given him. He wasn't a stalker, it was just the only birthday card he had gotten from anyone. You were both 11 back then, and Jungkook had invited the whole grade to a party at his grandma's house.
No one showed up the first 20 minutes, and Jungkook cried in his grandma's arms until the doorbell rang, and a sniffling Jungkook opened the door to see you, smiling brightly, stretching out your birthday card with 10 dollars paper-clipped inside.
Jungkook appreciated how you didn't pity him that day, how you didn't even ask about the other guests' absence. You just devoured the chocolate cake together, both laughing at each other and your glaze-stained faces. You never spoke to Jungkook afterward, yet you still left the biggest mark in his heart, and he would never, ever in his life forget you, and how you lit up a broken little boy's heart forever.
Tears prickling in his eyes, blinking them away, gone as fast as they came. He went to sleep early that night, knowing he would see you tomorrow, possibly the only thing keeping him from completely giving up. You were his everything, the light of his life, shimmer in his eyes, despite you not remembering his name. He didn't care, he would just continue fantasizing till it swallows him whole.
13 days
The front strands of your ponytail fell down in your face as you laughed joyously, bubbles brewing in his stomach as he tightened his grip on the book he was reading, The Lover by Marguerite Duras, a disturbing book, which he wasn't focusing on at all.
You were laying down in the grass, frilly pink skirt and a white top, summer breeze warm and comforting, as you giggled with two of your many friends, Jihan and Sooyoung.
The two last weeks of school before the summer break was your favorite, your report cards had been handed out and the school didn't require you to wear uniforms either, so you could wear all the pretty clothes you had bought, preparing for the hot weather.
A guy approached you, which Jungkook recognized as Kim Taehyung, your best friend, with who you were very comfortable, a bit too much for Jungkook's liking.
His whole stomach twisted into a harsh knot when he threw his arms playfully around her neck, quite literally, because he could feel his breakfast come up his throat as he gripped onto the bench, hurling onto the grass. In some ways, he knew it was coming. He had felt the weird feeling in his stomach since he woke up.
"Oh god... Look at Jungkook!" Jihan chuckled, a vicious tone in her laugh. A frown formed on your face, feeling bad for him, so you loosened yourself from Taehyung as you reached for your purse to approach him.
"Jihan." You gave her a cold stare, and she looked away awkwardly, "I'll be back soon." Already rushing over to the boy who was about to wipe his mouth with his hand.
"You shouldn't-!" You exclaim, and he freezes. He's still hanging, face facing the grass, huddled over the bench, saliva dripping from his mouth, probably an attempt to get rid of the gruesome taste.
Jungkook slowly turned his head to face you, and his whole body froze when he met your sympathetic gaze. Digging through your purse you found makeup wipes, holding one out for him to grab. He didn't take it, so you leaned forward to wipe his mouth yourself. "Yuck, this must've been horrible. Are you okay?" You smiled as the tissue met the corner of his mouth, with no trace of disgust on your face.
He didn't try to pull back either, he was so mesmerized by your face up close, he genuinely thought his fantasies had finally swallowed him whole.
Jungkook had an unreadable expression on his face, he was pale like milk, and you felt worried and contemplated calling for a teacher, but you realized they could probably not do any more than you could, considering you were outside of campus, in the park on the other side of town for another foolish class outing.
Placing the used wipe on the bench next to him, he winced and moved a little away from it, and you just felt relieved that he wasn't completely dead. You grabbed a water bottle from your purse, holding it for him so he could drink. It was a hot summer day, the scorching heat had probably gotten to him, lips dry like sandpaper.
He took a few sips, hesitating for a while until he kept drinking. "You must've been so lightheaded, you have to take care of yourself." He only nodded in response. You threw the wipes away and buttered up your hands in hand sanitizer and hand cream before getting comfortable on the bench next to Jungkook.
"Sorry if you don't want me next to you, but I don't think you should be alone like this. You have anyone who can pick you up?" He pondered on your question, only for a short while, until he realized, he had absolutely no one.
"No." He spoke dryly, voice weak and vulnerable. It made you want to protect him, but all you did was sit back in silence, placing your hand on Jungkook's knee, and he grimaced in pain, letting out a small whine.
"Shit, I´m so sorry!" You pulled your hand away, smiling apologetically. Your friends looked at you, questioning looks on their faces as to why you were sitting next to someone like Jungkook.
You brushed them off, and Jungkook crossed his arms protectively, and you felt a pang of guilt. He had only uttered a single word to you, as simple as "No."
When he lifted his arms up, you took it as an opportunity to let your eyes wander, noticing how frail the boy was, how his skin was light as day, and his bicep covered in a purple bruise on his arm, you couldn't help but think he had been sick for a while.
"Let's move out of the sun." You smiled, standing up and taking his hand, and he slowly got up, and you offered a second hand to help him get stable.
His legs were wobbly, the emotions were too much for him. He was holding your hand, you were caring for him, just like you did many years back. You hadn't changed, you were still an angel and not a product of his imagination.
The tears that had been welling up in his eyes last night finally came to the surface, endlessly rolling down his cheeks. You could nearly feel the sting as you heard his quiet sobbing and saw his cheeks turn splotchy red.
He looked embarrassed, mortified actually. You quickly placed his arm over your shoulder, as you started walking away from the open areas of the park. The bus station was close by, so you walked away from the park and your teachers, and none of you seemed to care.
A bus you took quite often luckily passed by, and you waved for it to stop, and of course, the bus driver stopped for you, a sight to behold, and you halted onto the bus with a sniffling Jungkook.
You both looked at each other, eyes widening when you realized that you had skipped school. Chuckling together, your heart warmed up, finally, he was smiling.
You wiped his tear with his thumb as you swore you would protect him from all danger. You both went separate ways that evening after you paid for some cheap mediocre sandwiches at the gas station, not talking much.
fin.
a/n: omg i am so sorry I feel like this is so dumb and cliche but its been half finished in my drafts since 2021 and I just need this published
so I have an idea for an jjk isekai ff. don't wanna spoil so I won't say much but I think I'll start writing it when season 2 comes out because it takes place in the first half. If I do post it, it'll be posting it on wattpad, ao3, tumblr, and maybe quotev. till then I'll have to think about other things to write in the meantime 👍
The bed looked inviting as Jungkook approached it, his wife already snoozing peacefully on her side of it. He wordlessly lifts the sheet and sinks into the lush cushioning of the mattress, practically melting into it. It had been a very long and exhausting day for him.
Joy hadn't acknowledged him when she felt the weight sink, but he could tell that she wasn't sleeping after all. He moves himself closer to her, draping his heavy arm over her waist and pulling her closer to his body by the hips.
Joy squirmed, sleepily muttering, "How come you're so clingy today, Koo?"
He chuckles as she pretends to be indifferent to his affection. She huffed a sigh as she moved her arm, giving in to his need for cuddles. He sinks his head onto her shoulder. "Sannie's sleeping?" She muttered, eyes still closed, voice weighed with exhaustion.
Jungkook hummed in agreement, looking down at her pretty face. Joy felt his body press into hers more, she stirs and lifts her head curiously at him, raising her brows in suspicion.
"What?" She asked knowingly, sensing something on his mind.
He shakes his head dismissively, "It's dumb."
"No it's not," she replied softly, cracking her lids open a bit more. She turns in his hold, looking up at his face. "Tell me. Is something bothering you?"
Jungkook stares down at her face, she looked really sleepy, they had both started the day working and he had gotten off early to get back home and help out with their toddler Jeongsan. Joy, though, who's been working from home, hasn't managed to get as much of a break, so Jungkook had taken iniative with their son when he returned home. And it was a good thing that he did, because Joy and her team had a very important project to finish up on by the end of the day. She would have never completed it with her hands full.
He likes being home with his family more, and especially looking after their toddler. Jungkook had been chasing after Sannie all afternoon, the little munchkin found it amusing whenever his father whined after him. Jungkook grinned at the thought.
"I've just been thinking a lot, jagiya..." He admitted fondly, Joy adjusts her head to see his face better, noticing how he trailed off.
"About what?" She wondered, her minty breath fanning his face.
Jungkook shifts, a bit anxious to express his feelings. Even though Joy was always inviting to his thoughts and ideas - no matter how outlandish they proved to be at times. She would never shoot him down without at least hearing him out first. He was very happy to have married a naturally good listener.
He sighed, "It's just, I see my hyungs with their kids all the time and... except for Yoongi and Jimin hyung, they all have daughters..."
Joy waited, her gaze trailing over his ebony locks that were falling loose from the hairtie he'd managed to put it in. She reaches up and tucks a piece behind his ear, only for it to slip away again.
Jungkook continued, having expected more of a reaction from his wife, but she continued to let him explain his thoughts. "Their relationships with their daughters are just so cute... I kinda wish I had a baby girl to spoil, too..."
Joy's brows rise in surprise, "I thought you were fine with just one?"
"I still am, honey. I'm very happy with our family," he assured, tucking both his arms behind her back, ending up hovered above her slim figure that she'd worked so hard to get back. He sighs as he recalls all the work she’d put in."This has been on my mind for a while now, though. I want my own princess to spoil. I could help do her hair and buy her dresses..." he rambled, the biggest smile growing on his face at the thought of it.
Joy watched his eyes gleam, melting at the sight of that mindless smile making his face. She hadn't told Jungkook directly, but the thought of having another baby scared her. And for completely different reasons this time compared to her first pregnancy and the fears it harbored. She was now certain that in the long-term things would turn out just fine - which was her main concern last time. This time around, however, she was worried about how much it would physically take a toll on her. When she gave birth to Jeongsan there were some minor complications that have left her a little traumatized. She'd only told her sister and female friends because they could relate, and couldn't seem to find a good time to mention her trauma to Jungkook. Especially not now that he looks so happy at the thought of having a daughter.
She had been thinking about having another baby too, dreamt of it, even. It brought a smile to her face, however her worries always seemed to cloud those visions. Joy swallows her fear, feeling a tug at her chest when she gently whispered, "Okay."
His eyes widened in surprise at that, that familiar bunny-smile lighting up his otherwise sleepy features. He seemed more alert at her words. "You mean- You'd have my baby? Again?" He asked excitedly.
Joy reads the genuine excitement in his expression, that pang of fear still rattling inside her chest. Her head bobs, and she was quickly pulled up into his arms, he squeezed the life out of her. "Thank you, baby," he presses butterfly kisses to her cheeks, making his wife giggle and push him away at the ticklish sensation.
She turns back to face the wall, her back still pressed into his chest. He never released his warm embrace around her thin frame. His palms smooth down her trained waist and wide hips. Her ass was plumper, and he pressed himself into it. Pregnancy was a beautiful, precious thing to Jungkook for many, many reasons. But he especially realized how much the experience had made him appreciate his wife more in just about every aspect. He became attracted to her in a whole new way - the fullness of her breasts and hips, the radiating glow of her chocolate skin. He just loved the sight of her round bump when she was pregnant with Jeongsan. Not to mention how much it enhanced her overall good character, she had this mature, graceful aura about her that was very difficult to articulate in comparison to her normal self.
He sighs fondly, massaging the curve of her hip slowly. Joy heard him hum deeply, right behind her ear. She felt it reverberate through his chest. "She ought to have nice, rich brown skin. Just like yours...." He mumbled, eyes shut as he pictured an infant's face. The brightness of her eyes when she gives a toothless smile. The resemblance of her mother's face reflecting into hers. It made Jungkook's chest warm, like his heart had melted and turned to mush.
He nods, "Yeah," murmuring dreamily into his wife's neck. "I hope she looks just like you. My little gumdrop... Just as beautiful as her Mama."
Joy blinks at the sound of his words. She hadn't thought he'd be so fond of producing any kids with skin just as dark and velvety as hers. Of course he'd never suggested that he would ever be opposed to such a thing, he fathered their first child with so much enthusiasm, knowing wholeheartedly what he was getting into the moment he proposed to marry her. However, considering the egregious beauty standards deeply rooted in the culture and history of his native country - in which they still reside - she couldn't help her slight shock. Though she wasn't surprised, Jungkook - as well as his members - had become famous not only for their work and influence but their perspectives and familial appearance.
"She ought to look like you, too." Joy muttered, she loved that their son inherited so much of Jungkook's physical traits. His large, doe eyes, especially.
He shakes his head fondly, "Nah, she should have dark, rich curls like yours. A cute little button nose, lush plump lips... I would stare at her all day, jagiya. She'll be so beautiful, no matter how she looks."
Joy hums, "I was hoping that if we were to ever have a daughter that she'd look like another carbon copy of you. Your mother even said she always wondered how you'd look if you were a girl when she had you."
"Did she?" Jungkook sleepily chuckled. Joy bobs her head, unable to help but giggle at Eomma's enthusiasm. Before Sannie's gender reveal she had briefly hoped that he would be a girl, since she always wanted a daughter.
He shakes his head, Joy felt his crotch pressing more into her backside. His hand smooths over her flat tummy, which still harbored a few faint stretch marks that she was trying to get rid of. "I want her to look like you. With all your pretty features."
"I'll try my best." She murmured sarcastically, his chest bounced as he chuckled.
🌺: I've kind of been thinking about Jungkook with a daughter, though I originally only planned for him to have Jeonsan...
I’ve been meaning to post this for a while! It’s my AMBW One-Shots (etc.) series! I post these excerpts on Wattpad all the time, but I feel
"Y/n honey are you ready yet? It's time darling," your mother crooned across the locked door.
"It's almost done miss," the bridal dresser announced when you didn't bother to open your mouth, you were trying to keep the curse words from spilling out.
The dresser was adding the last touches to your dress while the hired make-up artist pursed her lips and painted your lips in a nude colour.
You had vehemently refused the pink colour they had offered, even going as far as to throw a tantrum; anything to show them you didn't approve of what they were doing.
You were grumpy and annoyed, not to mention angry beyond words. You had raged and stormed at your parents, crying your heart out till you realized that they won't backtrack, they will keep their decision.
And it was all very frustrating.
Just what did you do to deserve something like this? It was temporary, yes, but still... who wanted to marry someone they never met? Why couldn't the groom at least be someone you knew? But a complete stranger?
Ugh why why why?
You knew you didn't deserve this. All things considered, you had been a good daughter, a good child and a good student, why did your life have to end up like this? Ugh.
"All done," the bridal dresser smirked evilly at you. "You can go out now, I assume the ceremony will start in a few minutes."
You grimaced at her and stomped off your seat, purposely stepping on your dress and coating the hem with dirt.
All you wanted to do was to go to your room and cry onto the sheets until you had no tears left. You tried your best to cover the tears threatening to fall by anger.
Your mother was waiting outside.
"Oh my god y/n you look so beautiful! Come here." She drew you against her by the shoulders and hugged you gently. You remained passive in her arms. Rigid and unmoving.
It was all her fault, hers and dad's. How did they even muster the courage to look at your face let alone hug you? Blatant people.
"It'll start in a bit, let's go downstairs, your father is waiting."
You let her drag you down a flight of stairs coated in white roses and ribbons. Yellowish rose petals had been scattered on the steps and you stomped on them with your heel in anger.
Wow.
Is this what your funeral looks like? You felt like a pig being sent for slaughter. If only they had switched the roses for daisies it would look perfect, and maybe a slow sad song instead of the small lullaby of a tune playing now.
You grimaced at your dad standing at the foot of the stairs.
He handed you your bouquet. It stank of roses, forget-me-not and myrtle. Streams of lily of the valley hung down the sides of the huge ball of flowers.
Flowers never swayed you, never had, never would. They were just a part of nature you had never been bothered about, but today, you simply hated them. Flowers were vicious and sadistic. They were demons in disguise mocking you for the pathetic situation you were in.
You made a face at them and at your loser of a dad. A dad who didn't care about his daughter's distress.
"Let's go," he said in his usual uptight tone. He grabbed your hand and stuck it in his arm and you unwillingly walked along with him, taking care to walk in a march with your legs thundering along the aisle. Once every few steps you dragged your heel along the floor. It made a spine-tingling tinny sound and you hoped the heel would break, in vain.
Your dad nudged your arm irritatedly but did you care? Did you care two hoots about upholding the family honour anymore? To hell NO! You were trying your hardest not to kick him in the shins. Nothing mattered to you anymore except the fact of how you were going to survive from now on.
A new house. A new family. A new room. And... the thought brought chills to your spine...
A husband.
And you didn't even know what kind of a person he was.
For all you knew he could be a drunkard... an abuser... a shameless fuckboy... or a soppy simp.
Ew.
You'd rather get a drunkard or fuckboy than a slimy soppy slug.
The people on either side of the aisle were smiling foolishly at you. You didn't forget to throw each of them a dark look, they should know that you weren't happy, they should know this was a literal funeral for you, just add some lilies.
Your dad nudged you again. You poked him back hard on the ribs. Seriously, didn't he get how you were feeling? Was he really the psychopath you had always imagined him to be? He nudged you again. This time you lost your patience.
"What?' you asked him through gritted teeth, did he want to wind you up even more?
He gestured to the front with his head.
You sighed. Of course, all he wanted was for you to continue acting this highly overrated drama. You pointedly rolled your eyes and looked to the front.
Oh.
Oh.
You get what he was trying to show you.
He was standing there next to the altar, wearing a black tuxedo, a sprig of myrtle stuck into his coat pocket.
You looked into his eyes from afar, trying to judge him, but you were too far to say much, they were black like yours and glinted with the lights on the wall.
Of course there was no denying he was handsome, you admitted grudgingly. He had jet-black hair with a fringe that came close to his eyes and a fine build and stature.
You dropped your gaze when he turned to your side. You could feel his eyes on you but ignored his gaze. After all, there still were some people left who hadn't been blessed with your pretty glowers.
You approached the altar along with your dad. He took your hand and shoved it into his and stepped away, pushing you closer to the annoyingly pretty stranger.
The first thing you registered about him was that his hand was warmer than your dad's. He would've felt the chill of your hand, it was covered in sweat from all the anxiety.
It took all your self-control not to kick him too, he was the start of it all. You knew you were being irrational, but his mere existence infuriated you.
You looked away trying your best to restrain your anger which was already overflowing. He looked away too.
Good, you thought. The man was obviously a person who minded his own business, which suited you just right. Not the clingy, smarmy, overly emotional type. It diminished your anger one minuscule digit down.
The officiant started his accursed speech. You internally groaned and crossed your free arm in front of you, holding the elbow of the arm stuck in Jungkook's grip.
The man turned to you at the end of his speech and looked at you expectantly. Crap, here we go...
Jungkook began, "In the name of God, I, Jeon Jungkook, take you, y/n to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do we part."
He sounded like a radio host talking from a place with extremely low telecommunication signal.
Soon it was your cursed, damned, god-forsaken turn.
You'd practised this, you had to sound like your droning history professor and be as rude as you can.
In the n-name of god, "I, Y/n, take you, J-Jeon Jungkook to be my h-husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, til d-death to we part."
Why, just why did you have to stutter? Fuck your anxiety and nerves.
The tears finally spilled through your anger and went slashing their way down your cheeks. Your parents were really going to sell you to a stranger like this were they?
The officiant looked at you kindly, he probably thought you were getting emotional and all lovey-dovey. You threw him a pure look of utmost loathing, bearing your teeth like a tiger.
Jungkook was staring at your face now, at a loss of words or actions at your tears. He totally understood, he knew what was behind it, he knew you were distressed (wasn't it obvious?) and sad. But what could he do? It wasn't his fault either.
"And now", the officiant said after clearing his throat, "Jeon Jungkook, do you take Y/n to be your wife? Do you promise to love, honour, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others and holding unto her evermore?".
Jungkook looked as frustrated and as uncomfortable as a dog caught up in a fence. "I do."
"And do you, Y/n, take Jeon Jungkook to be your husband?"
Your entire soul was screaming at you to say you don't and end everything then and there but your mouth, which had been brought up to love and respect your parents said otherwise.
You turned to the crowd at threw the deepest look of hatred you could conjure at your parents before saying,
Possessive Love(JJK) (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/story/288846294-possessive-love-jjk?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_myworks&wp_uname=Veny_candy&wp_originator=DI3%2BfYzUORe32pwHaYIItlS5chEKXA8N0ja8zZySaKuw1eoXvK3YrKEZklBM5LtouEX%2B3l4ZGmW3ArGSn9wG1qImZ7u0Il7zAIsynsuqK5yBTv0T%2FiZ1B9oGml%2F3bxVA Y/n : you should never expect love from a heart you once broke . Jk : I won't expect it from you but remember i will not stop loving . Even if love can't be expressed with words it can be through the eyes . His love for her was possessive but pure let's see will his possessiveness with lead to something wrong....He wanted her all by himself
🌺 Jungkook suffers from an anxiety disorder. He was never an idol in this excerpt
She was standing right there. The girl who captured his eyes. Took hostage of his heart every time his large doe eyes would catch a glimpse of her pretty face. And make it stutter when she smiled at him. Those over-the-shoulder looks always seemed to put him in a dumb-founded stupor. It would usually take a challenge from her boyfriend to shake him out of it.
She was by the punch bowl, the violet fluorescent lights dancing over her floor length gown. For once, that boyfriend of hers wasn't with her, and she seemed rather upset about it. He watched her stare into her plastic cup, the translucent red punch didn't seem to satisfy her taste at all.
Jungkook wipes his damp palms on his pants, surely his mother wouldn't take too kindly to him wrinkling up his tux. But she had captured his mind, occupied it so that he could hardly focus on anyone else.
He resists the urge to tug at his roots at the back of his head, having styled his hair quite nicely for this dance. He figured if he was going to attend it after all, he may as well look the full part. His parents simply wouldn't allow for him to not commit to taking part in Prom. They swore by their word that he would regret not attending in the future.
He takes a shaky breath, feeling his hands start to tremor a bit. He clenched his fists for a moment, flexing his fingers. Her dress shimmers as she moves, looking around the venue rather impatiently. She didn't seem to like being alone.
"Okay..." He muttered to himself, swallowing his nerves and mustering the courage to start approaching her. He towered over her now, after all these years in high school. He was still getting used to how big he was.
She started to notice him as he approached, gently pushing past his classmates who danced and gyrated on each other, reeking of vodka. Much to the blatant disapproval of the chaperones.
"Joy! Hey, sorry about that, baby-"
"You just abandoned me, Trev...!" She was upset with her boyfriend, he cooed and managed to block her from Jungkook's sight. He stopped in his tracks, chest deflating in defeat.
"I'll make it up to you, baby, I promise. How about that dance?" He draped his arm over her slender shoulders, steering her into the midst of the crowd. Joy bites back a smile, seeming to have easily forgiven Trevor for leaving her on her own.
🌺🌺🌺
Jungkook's vision was a little blurry on the way back home. He felt something brewing in his chest, but he couldn't make sense of what it was exactly. He just knew that it stung quite the bit. The blurriness would go away for a bit when he wiped at his eyes, collecting on his fingers as moisture, but it was a matter of moments before it would cloud his vision again.
"Oh! Jeongguk-ah! You're home early, I thought the dance ended at ten?" His mother greeted, she and his father were both sitting in their favorite love seats, looking up from their books. His father peers at him over his glasses.
It was hard to speak without something trying to block his throat. It was hot and thick, and the growing lump of pain in his chest wasn't making it any easier to breathe. His mother sets her book aside, seeing his expression. "How was the dance? Did you enjoy yourself?"
"It was alright." He managed, trying to swallow the thickness claiming his voice. It wasn't going down, though. Before she could ask him much else, he began to tug at his tie and ascend the stairs in long strides.
He barely heard his mother's flustered bidding, "Well- okay. Good night. Love you."
🌺🌺🌺
"Thanks so much for understanding, sir! I promise it won't happen again." Jungkook nods and waves, bidding his employee goodbye for the night. People couldn't help their family emergencies. His wife was expecting, after all.
He watched him walk out to fetch his brief case and rush toward the elevator, rushing to get to the birth center his wife was being taken to. Jungkook gets back to the work on his desk, letting the time get past him. Through the walls of his private office he could hear the muffled conversations among all of his employees. Most of it was petty gossip. How the cake slid off a table at someone's wedding. How the kids are doing on their tests. How great marriage therapy is going.
None of it was anything he could really relate to. He... didn't really have anyone. Aside from his parents, of course. But they were across the country now, currently enjoying their anniversary gift from him. He'd paid for their cruise and they were thoroughly enjoying it. Oh, and his niece was doing well, his older brother loved to spoil her. Especially with her birthday coming up.
He was the last to leave his office as usual, figuring he may as well work over time again. There wasn't much back home at the condo for him to take care of. Well, none other than a little cactus plant he'd gotten as a Christmas gift from one of the office parties. He couldn't remember how long he'd had it by now, the years have kind of meshed together.
He shut the lights off on the way out, eyeing all the picture frames of his employees' families in their cubicles. Babies and parents and wives and siblings and friends.... He felt that usual dull ache in his chest when he saw it, a sort of yearning. But he ignored it, as usual. Pushed it down with such a force that he would pretend it never happened. Forget he ever felt anything from it.
He made himself dinner at home, watched a soccer game with limited interest. It was officially the weekend, and he figured it probably wouldn't hurt to get back to his company office to start on a new project in the morning. Though nothing really needed any immediate attention, he'd done far more work than he anticipated that evening.
Jungkook stares blankly at the television screen. He was sat up on his couch. The game had gone to commercial break, and of course the medication commercials were on again. He watched the protagonist smiling and laughing, surrounded by family. People they love.
His phone buzzed on the couch beside him, though when he peeked at the screen it was simply a reminder he had set for himself. Something trivial so that he wouldn't forget to leave the kitchen lights on again. No need to make the bill run high when it was just him there.
He tucks his knees to his chest, leaning back and staring at his ceiling. Maybe he needed to see more people. Different people. Maybe he's become too familiar with the faces he sees at work and TV. But how was he going to do that?
The forecast would be nice tomorrow, if the weather update still held any validity. He's lived in the city for years, run his successful business for the whole of his twenties and he's yet to visit the park in the center of it. His anxiety was too bad for the first few years. He'd give himself attacks if he had to meet up with anyone outside of work. If it had nothing to do with his company then he wasn't capable of handling it.
He had gotten a bit better about it, though. He had only been able to afford reliable therapy about two years ago, and he hesitated to even book that, knowing he'd have to meet with a new person. But he learned to trust his therapist.
"You have to be my loneliest patient I've ever encountered, Jungkook!" He said with a chuckle, like it was something to laugh at. Jungkook would awkwardly reciprocate it rather than challenge it, preferring not to discuss how badly it made him feel as of late. He had always been... on his own. Aside from his parents he hardly made much contact with anyone outside work. Even his older brother, who had started to ignore him when he first hit puberty. And then he left for the military, and by the time he came back he was married and expecting. He never devoted any time to Jungkook... then again, Jungkook never pried.
He could people-watch.... Not in a creepy way. Plenty of his classmates from high school found it weird. He'd say nothing and watch people interact. Share laughs and frustrations with each other. Flirt and mingle. He's watched fights commence. He wasn't even particularly entertained by it so much as he was fascinated. How could it be so easy for these people to build relationships, when he could barely muster the vigor to utter two words? Even if that put him at his own expense.
And Joy... she was always so kind to him - kind to everyone. But when people would laugh and point, make a point out of humiliating him, being the butt of everyone's jokes - she would offer her kindness. She'd never laugh, even when her friends wanted her to.
By the end of freshman year he'd develop a deep appreciation for her, he'd even told her once, though it was very brief. Some upperclassmen had snatched his backpack to toss around like a football over his head, knowing full well he was too anxious to defend himself. She had told them to "Fuck off", and was briefly ridiculed before the bullies had decided to leave him alone.
He couldn't manage more than a sincere "Thank you." he wanted to say more. He always did. But his throat would close up. And his heart would stutter. Especially when she smiled at him, telling him not to worry about it.
He'd been picked on up until he himself became an upperclassmen, and people eventually learned to just leave him alone, somewhat accepting his unwillingness to interact. Not to mention his avoidance of contact at almost every opportunity. She wasn't always there to tell people that their jokes weren't funny, nor did he expect her to be. She'd gotten a boyfriend by the time the harassment stopped. A popular jock that she was head over heels for. Trevor was one of the main culprits to Jungkook's misery, but when he started dating Joy he left Jungkook alone. To this day he wondered if she had anything to do with it. Though he wouldn't be surprised if that weren't even remotely true. Why would Trevor waste time on him when he could focus on Joy - a smart, caring, and devoted girl? She was always ahead of her time. Carried this amazing stride wherever she went. Her smile lit up an entire room.
She often made him flustered. His cheeks would flush and heat up when she smiled at him. There were a few times, particularly in freshman and sophomore year that his hormones would get the best of him. It happened once in class, but he had luckily been able to hide the tent before anyone would catch on to it. Every other time was in his sleep, his mother would wonder why he'd throw out so many pairs of boxers at the time.
She hadn't ever left his mind. He remembered their very last day of class, no one bothered to sign his yearbook, except for Joy. Her friends watched her approach him like she had lost her sanity. She asked if she could sign and he dumbfoundedly gawked at her before sliding his book over to her. I hope your life is fulfilling! - Joy ☺ His shoulders felt a little lighter that day.
Her sweet smile took hold of his mind, and he shut his eyes as he pictures it. It made warmth blossom in his chest. He could only hope she was doing well after all these years. He sincerely hoped she was.
🌺🌺🌺
Jungkook decided to follow through with his idea to visit the park. He had to close his workout with a good run every other morning, though he usually used his treadmill. It wouldn't hurt to take the scenic route, though. At least he hoped it wouldn't.
It was mid-morning by the time he was done. He was winded, especially so. He saw so many people on the path, they'd glance his way, some gazes would linger. It made his heart palpitate and his lungs sting harder. But he pushed through, deciding instead to focus on the trees and birds that waddled and hopped along the ground.
He stopped by an empty bench, slumping back to catch his breath, watching the day drift by in it's slow trot. Much to his relief, no one paid him any mind at first. That is until he heard the wheels of a stroller approaching on the path.
He looked up briefly and lost his breath again at the woman. She had her hair tied up, and her features had matured a bit more, as you'd expect. She looked like she was on a morning stroll.... With her baby.
She sighed and slumped on the other end of the bench, not seeming to notice him. Maybe it was a good thing. Jungkook wasn't sure if he should pull up his hoodie and hide or not. He felt his stomach twist in knots. He didn't usually throw up after exercising but now would be a first.
He clenches his perspiring palms, wiping them on his shorts. The baby seemed to sense his discomfort, starting to fuss from within the stroller. He couldn't help but to stare as she cooed, humming softly as she lifted the infant out.
She hugs the infant to her torso, rubbing his back. He soothed for a few moments before squirming again, his little face pinched in frustration. Joy coos, laying him back into the crook of her arm, swaying side to side. He seemed to take a liking to that. Jungkook wished it were that simple to calm down. His heart wasn't getting the memo.
She seemed to sense his gaze, and before he could look away she caught it. "Cute kid." He muttered, swallowing bile. He put on a friendly smile.
Joy returns it, and Jungkook felt a wave wash over him. It was still just as pretty as he'd remembered it being. "Isn't he? I love his chubby cheeks." She gently squished the infant's cheeks between her fingers. The baby suckled on a blue pacifier, Jungkook watched it bob, anxiously rubbing his knee. He was ready to get up and just go home. Not come out of his condo until he had to go back to the office, but she looked at him fully.
"Oh my God... Jungkook?" There was a flicker of recognition in her eyes, and her smile seemed to grow more, past the shock.
He nods nervously, watching her blink in surprise. "Wow, you look... You look great!" His hair had grown a bit longer, just enough to be tied back - well, most of it. He had already been muscular in high school though it wasn't really showing until his senior year. He got buffer as his twenties came, and were starting to come to a close.
"Th-Thanks.... You do, too." He said sincerely, swallowing again. The baby in her arms gently kicked his chubby legs. He looks fondly at his cute face, studying it. He looked a little bit like Joy, though his complexion wasn't as dark. The baby also had epicanthic eyes, like himself. Trevor wasn't Asian, though...
"...Is he yours?" Jungkook wondered softly, hardly realizing he'd muttered it aloud.
She chuckles softly, her smile was just radiant. God, it was making his gut twist up and tingly and warm. He hadn't felt something so warm in a long, long time. Not since he's last seen her.
"Oh, no. He's my sister's kid. She's got two more, twins, but I can only handle so many kids at once," Joy explained fondly, gently tapping the baby's butt. "Babies are way easier than toddlers."
Was it right to feel the flood of relief in his chest? He knows he shouldn't, wasn't his place. Surely she was in a relationship. And even if she wasn't, who's to say she'd give him a shot? Would he even be able to handle asking her out?
"That's nice, I've got a niece. She's about to turn 6." He rambled.
"No kids for you either?" She wondered.
He actually laughed at that. That would require not being alone. He shakes his head.
"Really?" She seemed genuinely surprised by that. "I figured since you're doing so well for yourself with your company and all that you would. Have you settled down with anyone?" She wondered, and Jungkook could only manage to shake his head.
Before he could ask, she seemed to sense his curiosity. "I've had a couple close calls, but, nothing yet.... You know I see Alex and her family and I just..." She shakes her head as she finds the words, Jungkook hanging on to every one.
"She seems to have everything, you know? You know she married Namjoon? Class president?"
"Wasn't she his Vice President?" Jungkook was genuinely amused to hear that.
Joy giggles, "They made me keep their secret until I graduated. They didn't want anyone to find out about them. People were on to them being so close, since they were both technically supposed to be competitors. Well, here we are, three kids later."
"It's funny how things turn out," He noted and she nods at that. "Life takes a bunch of turns, it seems."
They went quiet for a moment, that is until Joy's nephew whines sleepily, looking restless. "Aw, Domi. What's the matter, hm?" She said in a gentle tone. It was very soothing. She sits the baby up in her lap, bouncing him comfortingly. He couldn't help but to stare at Jungkook, though.
Joy's smile grows, "You wanna hold him?" She offered, Jungkook felt himself pale. His blood ran cold.
"Re-Really? Y-You'd let me...?"
"Yeah, he likes meeting people, don't you Dom?" She smooches his puffy cheek, the baby squealing gleefully. Jungkook blinks, trying to fix himself.
"I'm not too sweaty...?" she was already scooching closer to him to hand the baby over, forcing Jungkook to grab hold of him.
"No, Jungkook, I promise you're fine. See, he likes you." She insisted, the infant landing in his lap. Jungkook felt out of place. He looks up at Jungkook with an expression that could only be read as confusion.
"I haven't held a baby since Luna was born," He muttered. "She wasn't my biggest fan." As if on cue, the baby boy whines, his face pinching with upset. Joy coos and pushes his pacifier back in. Jungkook bounces his knee gently, and he seems to like it enough to stop fussing, settling pretty easily. He spat his pacifier out and replaced it with his fingers.
"See, not so bad, right?" Joy said, giggling as baby Dominic leaned forward into Jungkook's chest.
Jungkook couldn't help but to smile, he was soft and warm. He had forgotten how much he liked babies. His niece Luna gave him the impression that he wasn't very well liked by them, though. But he supposed that wasn't exactly the case.
It was refreshing, he had to admit. Something about holding another warm body just settled him, soothed his nerves. "No wife?" Joy wondered gently, sounding hesitant to ask. "I mean, do you plan on getting married...?"
He simply shakes his head, "That would require having been in a relationship." He admitted. She hums, nodding slowly. Dominic gurgles gently, looking sleepy. Jungkook felt his dry fist curling into his shirt.
"Oh? I guess I figured you'd be in one..." She murmured.
He chuckles dryly at that, shaking his head. "...Can I ask why? I mean, I was never the most... sociable person in the world."
Joy shakes her head, "Still, though. I mean, you thrive in this city, at least your company does. I see your logo everywhere and all the time... I guess I'm saying I expected someone to come running after you."
Jungkook chuckles nervously at that, not having expected that compliment. He felt his cheeks heating in embarrassment. "What makes you say that?" He asked sincerely.
She looked at him with knitted brows, like he had three heads. "Well... I mean... You're a good looking guy and... Very sweet. You always have been." The last part caught him off guard, Dominic coos behind his hand, his lids starting to droop. Gently, Jungkook pats his back, unable to help how much he was enjoying it.
"Re-Really?"
She nods to confirm, a sincere smile on her face. "I lost my glasses one day in freshman year, and this was before I had contacts so I couldn't see for three whole class periods. You returned them to me, and I found out later that you got them back from someone who was trying to pull a prank on me." Jungkook hardly remembered that. It was just the right thing to do. He saw an opportunity to steal her glasses back from the perpetrators and took it. Luckily, they hadn't suspected him.
He shrugs at that, looking at the baby to avoid her insistent gaze, really it wasn't a big deal. But she grips his arm, "I never did tell you just how much that meant to me, back then. And you were always that way, soft-spoken, but... kind. Kind for the sake of it, not for approval or leverage. I appreciated your sincerity." She admitted, Jungkook stares at her face, catching her gaze for a moment. But he lost his breath and tore it away just as quickly.
"...You were the only person that was nice to me," He admitted softly, his voice low. He felt ashamed to admit it aloud. "I was very... lonely growing up and my anxiety made things that much harder for me. You didn't care about it, though. It never fazed you." Jungkook recalls, refusing to meet her gaze, despite feeling her eyes on his face.
He sighs deeply, her silence was unbearable. Hesitant, he peeked up to see her expression, it wasn't saddened, but.... She looked as though hearing him admit such a thing was touching. "Of course it didn't... You're human, after all." She waved it off.
But it wasn't just a gesture to him. It wasn't anything to dismiss. There were days that her kindness, her smile had been his highlight. After long, lonesome days, facing the abrasive world on his own, Joy was the thing that reminded him it was worth it. He hadn't thought of anything too dire, thankfully, but he would genuinely question himself. Why must he be so incapable of communicating with others? Why let it consume him so that it haunts his very core? His anxiety settled in so deep. He wondered if his lonely aura deserved to be encountered by the grace of other people. She reminded him that he did deserve companionship. Even to the simplest degree.
"I... I really, really liked you, Joy. And to be honest, I think I still do." He blurted.
She blinks, her breath hitching. "Really?"
"Of course," he assures. "I've been so lonely for so long. It's unbearable, most days. But your smile, it just... It had a way of lifting that weight. The burden of my anxiety would feel a little bit lighter. You lit up the room every time... I didn't- I don't expect you to like me back-"
"Jungkook..." She shakes her head, chuckling softly. Her smile grows and he was more than a bit startled to see her dab at her eye. "That's the sweetest thing anyone had ever told me."
His eyes widen, "It is?"
"Yeah," she nods. "It really is..." Her phone buzzes and she sighs. "I need to go, but... She pulls something from her purse, scrawling something onto it with a pen. "Feel free to call me if you ever feel like having company. Okay?"
He nods, letting her take the baby, "Oof, Dominic. You're so heavy, bud." She coos at the sleeping baby, settling him in the stroller. Jungkook stands up, dusting his hands on his legs. Joy turns and smiles up at him.
"Make sure you call me, Jeon Jungkook." She says sweetly, taking the stroller's handles and walking past him. Jungkook watches her go, until she's disappeared in the cluster of people brushing by.
🌺 Hope y'all enjoyed. It's just something I thought up of on a whim. Tell me what y'all think.
Part 2
I’ve been meaning to post this for a while! It’s my AMBW One-Shots (etc.) series! I post these excerpts on Wattpad all the time, but I feel
"Baby," Jungkook sang, shutting the door behind him and holding something behind his back. Joy, who had returned home from work no more than half an hour ago, turns to look at her husband. He was sporting a cheeky smile, his crow's feet crinkling around his eyes as he pulled a bouquet from behind his back.
"Aww, Kookie!" His wife swooned, taking the flowers. She hugs them, staring at her calendar on the wall. "I didn't forget an important date, did I?"
Jungkook chuckles, pulling his wife into his chest. He kisses her head reassuringly. "No baby, I just wanted to surprise you, is all. San's not home yet?"
"Practice doesn't end for another hour." She shakes her head. Jungkook nods, a smirk creeping onto his face.
Joy stares up at him confused, his strong arms wrapping around her delicately. He squeezes her ass in his hands. After all these years, Joy was entirely used to it, even though it used to make her cringe. It made their teenage son squirm, though.
Jungkook lifts Joy's chin, pressing sultry kisses to her lips. She noticed his husky cologne as he pulled her closer. Joy moans, gripping her bouquet in one hand and wrapping her arms around Jungkook's neck. "I missed you..." He admitted against her plump, lush lips.
He's been working himself to the bone with tv promotions and musical projects at the company. He was very busy still, after all these years. She smiles softly, "Stay home, then."
"Joy..." Jungkook started, pulling back to look down at her face. She waved him off before he could go on about how much work he has to do.
"I know, I know. We've been married a long time Kookie, I'm used to you being busy. But it'd be nice to have you home a bit more. Jeonsan always asks me how you are, since you only see him once he's home, but he's so tired by then."
Jungkook sighs at that, "How is he? My boy?"
Joy pulls away, "You ought to ask him yourself... Stay home tomorrow, Kookie." She grabs a vase and fills it with water, unwrapping the bouquet and gently placing the flowers in it. She caresses the soft pink petals.
He sighs, leaning on the counter, tapping it with his fingers as he studies her figure. His wife never asked for much of him, and in fact she has been very patient and understanding towards him. "...I'll talk to my manager about it." He offered, she beamed at the sound of it. She did one of her cute little dances and came around to capture him in a tight hug.
"I miss my husband. It's good having you home, not just on tv." She murmured, he coos at her sweet words. She was still just as adorable as the day they'd met.
"Isn't one of your specials on today? The one where you're mentoring those rookies?" Joy wondered, pulling Jungkook to the couch, sitting promptly on his lap. He holds her securely, waiting for his special to come on. He didn't care too much about it though, certain that he'd be able to watch it again some other time. He knew that another private moment like this with his wife wasn't guaranteed any time soon. Neither of them were working, and they were completely alone with no interruptions.... He pulls one of their blankets over them, Joy deciding to snuggle into him for comfort.
He trails his hand into her pants. She jumps at the sudden sensation, tensing for a moment before feeling his warm fingers massage her sensitive nerves. Joy shudders as he summons moisture from her core. He smirks, keeping his gaze focused on the tv, pretending not to pay much attention to how much he was pleasing her. "I forgot how easy it was to turn you on-" he started to tease, earning a shove to his shoulder.
"Sh-Shut up," His wife quivered, squeezing her thighs around his hand. To give himself more space, he pulled her garments down some to give himself more access. Her breath shuddered, she tucks her head in his neck, hearing him hum with pride. He loved having her quiver on his lap.
"S-Stop... Sannie could come home s-soon..." She protested weakly, though her eyes were starting to cross and Jungkook had a hard time taking her seriously.
"Come on, you said practice won't end for at least another hour." She gasps hardly registering what he was saying as she gripped his wrist, but he kept his fingers busy.
She whimpers at his mercy. "Can't hear you, baby. A little louder." He whispered in her ear.
She gasps again, quivering in his lap, he pulls her knees apart, "Jungkook... Oh God...!" She was struggling to stay quiet.
He stopped abruptly, she tugs off her pants, straddling him promptly. Jungkook pulls the blanket up over them more, gripping her waist as her hips gyrate earnestly into his.
They hadn't heard the purr of the engine in the driveway, nor the lock as it unclicked. Jeonsan stepped in, sighing softly to himself as he tosses his keys in the nearby bowl. He shuts the door behind him, about to drop his gym bag on the floor with it's usual rough thud when he heard shuddered breaths. The teenager internally cringes, it was unmistakably his parents indulging in their efforts to 'rekindle their sexual energy', as his friend Min Younggyu had put it. Younggyu had caught his shameless parents in the act several times, and often teased Jeonsan about it just to make the boy squirm.
The teenager was just about to walk past them and leave them to their own devices (before he would be mentally scarred). However, his mother lifted her head from his father's shoulder. She gasped, yelping in surprise. Her ears began to flush red.
"Jeonsan! What are you doing here?" She demanded, Jungkook whipped his head around to see his teenage son stood behind the couch, awkwardly avoiding their gazes. The boy may have been quiet, but he certainly wasn't naïve. He prayed the blanket would remain as it was on top of them, never to reveal whatever sinful things they had been caught doing.
"Practice ended early... I'm going to go shower." He muttered, gripping his gym bag and jogging up the stairs. Joy and Jungkook's heads follow as he went. Jungkook felt his wife deflate, slumping onto him.
"I told you he'd catch us." She groaned.
"Well, we got this far..." the celebrity hinted.
"Kookie! We're not doing it out in the open when my baby's home!" She scolded in a hushed tone.
"Well I'm not getting up with my pants at my knees! And you know damn well that you'll never get up those stairs without limping." He defended.
Joy sighs in defeat, hearing the shower start to run. For once, she was glad their son took long showers.
🌺🌺🌺
Jeonsan was writing another entry in his journal at his desk. He heard a knock at his bedroom door, turning toward it expectantly. "Hey, son," Jungkook greeted.
"Hey, Dad," the teenager returned, turning back to his entry. Jungkook approaches Jeonsan's desk. His room was tidier than he remembered, the boy having always been one to like being organized. He gets it from his mother, surely.
He sits on his son's bed, neatly made and smelling like lavender. "Your mother ordered from your favorite pizza place. She felt bad about..."
Jeonsan bites his lips, they were plump, like his mother's. He doesn't lift his gaze from his journal entry, tapping his pen against the lined paper. "Don't worry about it." The boy responded.
Jungkook purses his lips. Jeonsan notoriously didn't say much. He's always been that way, their family - which included the whole of the Bangtan family - often had to pull his leg to get a response out of him. He kept things internal. Not to mention he was quite shy and reserved. Jin hyung said Jeonsan reminded him of Jungkook before they debuted, only he's never really grown out of the shy phase.
"It's okay to say you were uncomfortable by it, you know. Your mother and I should have known better..." He watched his son cringe, frowning at his neat handwriting. Jungkook trailed off, deciding to avoid the subject after all. This wasn't the first time Jeonsan had caught them, though each occasion was years apart. The very first time, the boy was just a toddler. When he'd heard his mother's moans it scared him, he honestly thought that his father was hurting her. If Jeonsan remembered any part of that, he surely hadn't let on. The other time, before today, the boy was just an adolescent. Again, he didn't really understand what was going on, but he was at the right age to have the birds and bees explained to him. Jungkook insisted that he would explain it, having always mentally rehearsed the conversation since Joy first discovered she was pregnant. He didn't give the 'when two people love each other very much' spiel, choosing to be realistic with it. It would have spared Jungkook a lot of confusion when he was Jeonsan's age had his parents explained sex to him realistically.
Jeonsan was practically grown, now. He handled things very responsibly. He drove himself to school and practice, his grades were exceptional - his mother was serious about them. Jungkook, not so much. He was the best kid you could ask for. They just wished he opened up more. It was hard trying to figure out what got the boy's gears turning.
"How was school today? Your mom said you had a physics test?"
Jeonsan lifts his gaze to look at his father. He was almost a spitting image of Jungkook. The boy obtained most of his father's physical features, aside from his lips, complexion, and hair texture - which was entirely his own trait.
The boy nodded, and Jungkook knew he wasn't going to elaborate like he wanted. The boy's therapist told the parents to avoid asking him yes or no questions, to try asking him more open-ended questions that required a response. "How do you think you did on it?"
"It was alright." The boy shrugged. Jungkook sighs, Jeonsan was taking advanced math classes and his test was just alright? He was studying on a collegiate level, he's not even in his last year of high school yet.
Again, Jungkook purses his lips. He would definitely have to spend more time with his son tomorrow. Maybe he was being vague because Jungkook has been working so much? He'd ask his wife about it later.
"How about practice?" Jungkook inquired.
Jeonsan shrugged, starting to doodle in the corner of his page. Jungkook wanted to see what he was writing, naturally, he longed to understand what thoughts were in his child's head. Sometimes, the parents felt the journal knew more about him than they did.
Jeonsan played basketball with Yoongi's son Younggyu. In fact, the two were the same age. They were good friends, and thanks to basketball they spent a lot of their time together. In regards to their personalities, the two couldn't be anymore different. Younggyu was a social butterfly, much like his mother. He was also a total goofball, like his father, and he had no problems speaking his mind. He was a confident kid. Joy and Jungkook were glad Jeonsan had someone like Gyu to hang out with. But that didn't keep Sannie out of his shell.
"Sannie..." Jungkook knew he had to choose his words carefully. He didn't want to make his son clam up on him more by being too suggestive, however he needed the boy to at least try to maintain their conversation. His son looks up at him, "You do know you can tell me and your mother anything, right? Is something bothering you?"
His mutism hasn't been this bad in a while. Jeonsan has been selectively mute since he could talk, they got that diagnosis when he was about three. Two years later he was confirmed to have a very, very, very mild case of low functioning autism. Most people would never in a million years guess that he was on the spectrum. It never really gave the family problems. He had his obsessive tendencies, though many of them he's grown out of. He wasn't as particular about routines or textures as he was when he was a child, nor was he as clingy to his parents as he used to be. His selective mutism, however, was what landed the boy in therapy from a young age. When he was younger, in times that the boy felt especially bothered, he would avoid talking all together. He used sign language - Joy and Jungkook had to learn both Korean and English sign language, as the boy was fluent in both languages. It was mind-bending at the time. He doesn't sign anymore, except to tutor one of his deaf classmates in math, but he was still quiet.
Jeonsan bit his cheek, avoiding his father's gaze. Jungkook didn't like making his son squirm under his gaze, but his therapist recommended the occasional use of an abrasive approach. He encouraged the discomfort of silence to pressure the boy into saying something. No matter how long it took, the boy would break from the awkward tension eventually. Joy struggled with this method the most when it was first introduced to the distraught parents, though it was strongly encouraged when he avoided answering questions.
Before the boy could break, though, Joy poked her head in. Jungkook looked up at his wife, "What'd I miss?"
"Sannie was just about to tell me what's been bothering him lately." Jungkook explained, Joy humming at that. Their son shakes his head.
"N-No," he stammered. "Nothing's wrong."
"Are you sure, baby?" She asked gently, stroking his curls, still moist from the leave-in conditioner he tended to use. She made sure not to mention how quiet he was, the therapist said mentioning the loss of progress could lead to further regression, so she chose her words carefully, deciding to be reassuring. "You can tell us if something's been bothering you. Or even if you just have something on your mind."
He looked visibly uncomfortable, distraught, if you will. Joy and Jungkook share a look, and to prevent him relapsing, they change the subject. Though it wouldn't be the end of the conversation. "Come eat, baby. You're not going to bed without dinner."
Jeonsan used to dread dinner, and sometimes he still does. It was the perfect opportunity for conversation, and obviously he wasn't too keen on having any. She has him get up from his desk, "Ah-ah, leave the journal. It won't take long." She urged, Jeonsan sighed heavily. He was very attached to his journal, it was his fifth one since he's started documenting his thoughts a few years back, right at the cusp of puberty. The only person allowed to read it was his therapist. The parents were advised not to look in them without Jeonsan's permission - it was too invasive.
He picked at his food, something was eating away at him. The parents could tell. God, what they would give to know what he was thinking. It was frustrating. It always had been. All the boy had to do was speak, but they knew it wasn't that easy for him. Jeonsan fumbles with the corner of his place mat on the table, his fingers moving rhythmically in their usual cyclical fashion. He hasn't fumbled with things like this in a while. Joy began to worry something was genuinely bothering him. She didn't want her baby to regress again. It was so hard to come back to a good place.
Jungkook saw the worry haunting her expression, he extends his foot toward hers, subtly reminding her that he was there. They'd go through it together, just like they always have. Jungkook takes a bite of his pizza, "You ought to shave, San. You've got some stubble coming in."
The teenager looks up from his plate, directing his gaze at his father in response to his random statement. "I do?" He asked, confused. He reaches for his chin to feel.
"Yup. Your hair grows back fast, like your mother."
Joy playfully narrows her eyes at her husband, suggesting he choose his next words carefully or else his shin would be at the mercy of her foot. But Jungkook was feeling playful, and decided to chance a minor bruise if it meant teasing his wife. "She's had to shave every other day, she's so hairy- ow! Baby, I'm kidding!" He knew damn well she got laser hair removal years ago. It was a permanent treatment and it cost her a fortune. Not to mention how much he took advantage of the fact that she was completely hairless from the neck down.
"Mhmm." Joy kept her watchful gaze on her husband, peeking to see they'd successfully put a bit of a smile on their son's face. Though it started to fade.
"Sannie, is this about...?" She trailed off, Jungkook shaking his head before she could mention what their son walked in on. The boy shifts uncomfortably. "...anything we can help you with?" She continued, changing the subject.
The boy lifts his gaze from his pizza at her. Joy felt her heart swell. For a moment she was looking at her baby boy, who used to cling to her leg for dear life. His large eyes, which looked exactly like his father's, met hers for just a moment. "No, Mama. I'm fine."
She sighs, he was pushing them away now. It stung, more than they thought it would. He used to rely so much on them to make him feel better. Now he won't even admit that something's bothering him when it clearly was. She looks at Jungkook helplessly, and it poked at the singer's heart.
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"He's hurting, Kookie! I know it. I feel it." Joy blubbers, wiping at her cheeks as she fumbles with the comforter, trying to pull the heavy sheet on her lap. Before she could get too exasperated with it, Jungkook climbed in beside her, pulling most of it's weight over his wife.
"We don't know that, Joy-" He shakes his head, trying to calm her down. She'd worked herself up again, and since Jungkook has hardly been home all month, she's had to internalize these concerns by herself.
"Yes we do!" She hiccupped, covering her eyes helplessly. Jungkook sighs, pulling her into his chest. He rubs her back.
"Don't cry, baby. Please." It was breaking his heart. He hated seeing his wife feel so distraught and helpless. They've shared a lot of tearful experiences over this.
"I just... I feel useless. What kind of mother doesn't know how to console her son? He's not little anymore, I can't just hold him and tell him everything's going to be alright. Did you see how he tensed when we touched him?"
Jungkook reluctantly bobs his head, his chest was aching. "Maybe we need to call Dr. Baek, before it gets worse." He suggested.
"I thought about it, but he's out for the next two weeks for a personal leave. What do we do...? My baby won't talk to me anymore...." It was so good to hear his voice. Once, in Jeonsan's adolescence, they thought they'd never hear his voice again.
"He's been reserved like this all month, Kookie. I thought that maybe if you spent some more time at home..." She hiccups into his chest. Jungkook blinks back his own tears.
"Breathe, baby. Please, just take a deep breath. He'll get through this." He soothes, rocking her side to side.
"But what if he doesn't? What if we have to wait another three years before he talks to us again? If he regresses back to that... Jungkook, I don't know what I'll do."
Joy was a bit traumatized by that rough stage in their son's life. She felt that she failed him as a mother. And it was no help that his classmates picked on him. They ridiculed the poor boy for how quiet and reserved he was, how anxious he got around crowds. Never mind his outstanding appearance.
"Please, can you talk to him? I don't know if it'll help anything but he won't talk to me. Maybe I'm too emotional for him to handle."
"Can't we wait until Dr. Baek is back in?" Jungkook suggested, he was the professional, after all.
"You and I both know he could regress by then." She croaks, sniffling into her husband's chest. Jungkook knew she was right. He could at least try, if not to alleviate this, than to at least give his wife some peace of mind. She had always been worried for their son, even before he was a twinkle in her eye. She feared for his future, having always wanted to prepare him properly for it. Jungkook wanted her to remember that she's done just that and more for their boy.
On weekdays, Jeonsan goes to bed routinely at the same time. Though it was Friday night, and aside from a tutoring session in the morning, he had no obligations. His lamp light glowed from behind the door, soft and warm. Jungkook knocks on the door, "Sannie? Are you up?"
He slowly pokes his head in, Jeonsan turning from his desk. He was scribbling something in his journal again.
Jungkook fully expected to be greeted verbally, but his son simply smiled at him before turning back to his work. Jungkook sighs, shutting the door behind him. He made sure Joy was asleep before approaching Jeonsan's room. She was making herself more distressed. She's had her fair share of fainting spells in the past, induced by the stress that Jeonsan's social ailment brought to them as a family. He didn't want to see her faint like that again, luckily their son had never witnessed it, surely he'd blame himself.
Jungkook moves further into the room, "What're you up to?" He asked, knowing full well what he was doing.
'Journaling.' He signed, Jungkook deflated. He was hoping he wouldn't resort to sign language as a primary form of communication. He wished sometimes that he never learned it since it was becoming more of a crutch than a substitution. But for a good portion of his life, it was the only way Jeonsan could manage to communicate.
"Can I ask what you're writing about?" Jungkook wondered, signing at the same time. Of course Jeonsan didn't need to have anyone sign back to him when he was perfectly capable of hearing, but Jungkook didn't like the idea of him doing it by himself if he could help it. It made things less awkward.
Jeonsan looks at his writing, then back at his father. 'Work-outs.'
"From practice?" Jungkook wondered. His son nodded. Jungkook sits on his son's bed just as he had before.
"What about work-outs?" He inquired.
Jeonsan shifted, looking a bit uncomfortable by the constant questions. But Jungkook wanted to get the truth, he could at least try.
'They were tough.' He explained with his hands, avoiding Jungkook's unmoving gaze on him, giving his son his full undivided attention. Jeonsan struggled with having attention on him, but he was getting used to it.
"Sannie, be honest with me," the boy nods, continuing to write in his journal. "You still like basketball, right? Your Mama and I want you to enjoy playing." His coaches mentioned Jeonsan's quietness and more recently how dejected he was at practice. He always seemed to have something on his mind.
Jeonsan hesitates, but nods. He didn't want to play at first. Back when he was in middle school, he was hyper-focused on his studies. He struggled to socialize with his peers. His therapist recommended enrolling him in extracurricular activities, it would encourage him to come out of his shell some more. Jeonsan didn't have any interest in anything, but Yoongi hyung recommended basketball, since Younggyu was playing it. Granted, Younggyu was already thriving socially before he made the team, but at least Jeonsan could go into it knowing there was at least one person he liked. In the few years he's been playing, he claims to enjoy it. It was the start of a new season, and up until this point he's been acting as his usual self. His verbal self. Jungkook had a hunch that whatever it was that bothered him, it had to do with basketball.
The boy changed the subject, 'I heard Mama crying.' He signed, his expression looked similar to Joy's when he was worried.
Jungkook sighs, bobbing his head. "She's worried about you. Her heart is breaking for you."
'Why?'
Jungkook hesitated, but he couldn't hide it forever. These concerns had to be addressed. It was risky to express his and his wife's concerns to Jeonsan directly, because it could make him feel worse and they'd lose more progress. But it could just as easily help the teenager understand their perspective more.
"She doesn't want you to regress again," Jungkook admitted slowly, watching Jeonsan's face fall.
"You know how much we love you, San. How much your Mama loves you. Seeing you hurting, and regressing because of it... it hurts her. Breaks her heart. We want to help you but we don't know how. I understand you don't want to tell us what it is, but hiding the fact that it's happening at all makes it worse."
'I don't mean to make her feel bad...' He signed, the guilt surfacing on his expression, but that wasn't why Jungkook told him all this. He didn't want his son to feel guilty over this.
"We know, Sannie. It's... It's not your fault. Last time you regressed... it was because someone was picking on you at school, right?" the boy looks away at that. Jungkook feels a twinge in his chest. That was it. He felt a small pang of relief to know what it was so they could handle it, but it was overwhelmed with hurt for his child, who was ailing because he'd once again fallen victim to someone's sense of superiority. "You can tell me if it's happening again."
The boy heaves a heavy breath, shaking his head. Jungkook waited, watching how Jeonsan's eyes got glassy. He sighs shakily, 'I don't want to talk about it.'
Jungkook nods, feeling a little better. At the very least, he got to the root of the problem. But he had to be patient with his son. He'll share with them when he chooses. "Alright, doesn't have to be now, or even with me. We're going to help you Jeonsan. It's our job as your parents, please let me know if it gets worse, okay?"
The boy nods, avoiding looking at his father. He was blinking back the tears trying to surface, though his face was getting flushed. "I'll let you tell your Mama. It should be you." The boy fumbles with his pen, nodding his head quickly. Jungkook figured Jeonsan wanted him out of his room.
"Good night, kid. Sleep well." He granted, shutting the door behind himself, hearing Jeonsan flip to another page before he aggressively scrawled in another entry. Jungkook saunters back to bed with his wife, pulling her onto him.
He sighed deeply, hearing her murmur sleepily. "Did he tell you anything?"
Jungkook kept his eyes shut, feeling her tuck her head beneath his chin, her arm wrapped around his middle. "He'll tell you himself." He replied, kissing her forehead and facing the ceiling.
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"M...Mama?" His voice was a croak, Joy whips her head toward it. She saw her son in all his meek nature. He was as big and robust as his father was when Jungkook was in his prime, not to mention just as tall - if not taller. He was fumbling with his stubby fingers, looking down at his bare feet.
"Yes, baby? Is something wrong?" Joy asked, having heard the thickness of his tone. Jeonsan hadn't said a word all week, and usually his voice was pretty strained and croaky when he starts again. Sometimes the refrain made his throat sore, which made it harder for him to start talking again. However, she recognized distress in her son's voice. She easily distinguished it, having only heard him speak so few times.
She pats the seat beside her on the couch, shutting her work laptop to give him her full attention. She knew it made him anxious to have full focus on him with expectations for him to speak, but it was a common courtesy that he was owed just as much as everyone else.
His large eyes were glassy, and his ebony curls hung in his face. She moves his hair out of his eyes, wishing he'd tied it up or twisted it. He'd gotten a haircut recently, a nice undercut that made him look handsome like his father.
"Dad said... He wanted me to tell you," the boy swallowed thickly. Joy made a mental note to make him some tea to soothe his throat. She always had honey and tea ready in case this happens. "Some of my teammates... they don't like me. They give me a hard time at school."
Joy had a million and one inquiries dancing at the tip of her tongue, but she bit it tightly, waiting for him to elaborate. He needed to fully express the issue from his perspective, no interruptions.
"It's a couple of the newer kids, they transferred to our school before the season started... they humiliate me. Younggyu, too," she watched him hold his throat, wincing a bit. Already he was getting a bit hoarse. Joy grips his hands, they were warm and large, like his father's. They used to be so small...
Jeonsan goes quiet, Joy watching the heat flush his cheeks, "They say things about how we look, Younggyu doesn't really care about it, but... they don't bother him the way they bother me."
Joy studies his face, his somber, teary eyes. She kept seeing the scared baby that didn't know how to express himself, that traumatized young boy that was petrified to complete silence. Most of the kids in his school have been kind and patient with him, but there was always those few, no matter what he did. If it wasn't about his appearance, it was his social disorder, or vice versa, or even a combination. They always had something to antagonize him with. Jeonsan used to try to ignore it and handle it himself, whatever he could to get them to leave him alone, but his parents have had to use authoritative intervention from time to time. Often it had been the only solution.
He recalls his hand to cover his face, he hated getting emotional in front of people. However, much like both of his parents, he was very in touch with his emotions. He just tended to hide them to avoid stirring up conversation. These avoidances had always been a major cause of concern for Joy and Jungkook, but Sannie was working on it.
"Oh baby," Joy cooed softly, feeling herself tear up. She heard him fight a sob, and pulled him into her bosom. She didn't care that he was bigger than her now, he was never too old or too big to be held by his Mama. "I don't know what to do, Mama. They won't leave me alone... I tried everything Dr. Baek told me to...!" He muttered helplessly into her chest.
Joy leans back, rubbing his shoulders and running her fingers through his curls. It always calmed him down as a baby, holding him. Often she didn't even have to say anything, just rub soothing circles into his back.
She didn't care if other people thought she was coddling him, that such a big guy like Jeonsan shouldn't ever cry to his mother and be rocked in her arms. He was still her baby, and only a teenager, at that. She missed this, holding him. He was warmer than she remembered.
"It'll be alright, baby," she soothed gently.
"I can't figure out what to do, Mama..." he croaks, she looks down at his face, wiping his cheeks. Jeonsan tended to get frustrated when he couldn't figure things out. He tackled complex algorithms, complicated language barriers, challenging dilemmas that could make or break the outcome of his games - but overcoming personal obstacles always had him stumped. It was bothering him, more than Joy thought it would.
"Well, you did something right," she started, he looks up at her, his large wet eyes never breaking from hers.
"I did?" he croaked.
Joy nods, "I'm glad you told me, Sannie. You don't have to handle this on your own, especially if it's bothering you this much. I can't take back what those kids said or did to you but I can make sure they never do it again. That's a promise." No kid should be terrorized on his own school campus, be damned if she was letting those boys say another hurtful word to her baby. And something better be done about it, pronto. If not, the school faculty would have to see a side of her that she didn't like. She was calling his coaches to get a better idea of what was going on.
"Mama..." Jeonsan started, knowing how his mother got when she was defending her family, especially him. He remembered his father having to carry her out of one of his old elementary schools because they refused to take disciplinary action against the little boy that dumped his lunch on Jeonsan's head. He hasn't been on that block since.
"I'll be reasonable, Sannie," she reasoned, though it would take Joy some serious self-control. "Mostly."
She heard him chuckle, sounding like his father. "Thanks, Mom."
"Anything for you, baby, you know that." she whispered, kissing his silky curls.
🌺Y'all seem to enjoy the more serious and lengthy excerpts. This may have answered some questions about Jeonsan as a character. Feel free to comment or dm me if you have any questions, suggestions, or recommendations. I'm open to having conversations about these characters. Is there anyway you guys think I could have tackled the subject matter differently? Have any questions? Requests? Let me know! Peace.
I’ve been meaning to post this for a while! It’s my AMBW One-Shots (etc.) series! I post these excerpts on Wattpad all the time, but I feel
