#job a

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Uttar Pradesh (UP) Board Results 2020: सरकारी नौकरी पाने लिए बहुत से युवा मेहनत करते हैं। इसका अंदाजा इसी से लगाया जा सकता है कि किसी पद के लिए लाखों की संख्या में आवेदन होते हैं। वहींं बहुत से युवा सरकारी नौकरी पाने के लिए तैयारी करते हैं

click: https://bit.ly/2N7ukYs

[audioper]

Today, I sent my résumé to a friend to pass along for a job

And I am kinda scared. I've never been one to handle major uncertainty and life changes well before, and it scares me to think of leaving this place I've worked for almost 3.5 years. Even though this place has broken my heart repeatedly, and I feel like I am nonexistent when I talk to my managers.

As I may have mentioned before, when I got this job, I didn't think I'd have to get any other job ever again. I expected to work at Job A the rest of my life, and I was pretty damn happy about that.

I suppose that's my mistake, my being naive again.

Hopefully this works out, our something works out. I've got things in mind for just about everything else except for the career thing, and that's the one that makes me the most nervous.

[audioper]

New job possibilities

are super scary when you're a pansy like me.

[audioper]

Doing up résumés sucks, but it makes me remember things.

My first job was at the public library in my home town, just as I was getting to the end of high school. And I made a bunch of excellent friends.

But now I realize I've been working jobs for 10 years now, in many different jobs, most of which I never entertained as anything close to long-term. And now I am looking for a career after working a job that I thought could be my long-term.

It's all quite a faff, really, all this job-hunting nonsense, especially when you have one, and particularly when you're not quite sure what you do want to be doing long-term-y (or rather, when you think you've found something to be long-term-y at, but breaking in might turn out to be stupid tough).

Damn. Where did the decade go.

[audioper]

I think it's official

I think Job A has finally broken my heart.

I've dropped myself entirely into my closest friends and family and my photography project to beat it back.

And it certainly could be worse. I'm not unemployed, and I'll be picking up a second job soon.

I know why it hurts so bad, it's because I wanted this job to work out for the long haul. This was the first job I've ever had that I wanted for more than the money. And now that the end is so much closer than I once thought it ever would be, it's pulling at me.

Also because I've never been hit by office politics and favoritism so directly before.

I am sorry, I don't mean to be depressing and in such a funk. But shit, you guys.

But hey, there are so many worse things. The logical part of me knows I'll be ok, that this isn't the end of the world. Hopefully the all heart and hope part will realize that soonerish, too.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, what do we do, we swim, swim...

[audioper]

Someone come over and hold me

I'm not doing so well lately. My internal struggle is mostly of my own doing, but it can be broken into two categories: women and work. Naturally my lady troubles are nonexistent, which is partly the worry there. But the primary issue right now is work. I love my job. Dearly. It is without question the best job I've ever had. But apparently I'm not all that great at it. They measure us based on a few metrics and solutions, and I've always had problems meeting them. Now and then I have a good streak, but I can't keep it going. There is no consistency. After a talk with one of my managers today, I'm beginning to wonder if I need to consider something else. I've been there for two years, if I can't get it now, will I ever? There's no opportunity to move up, or even laterally, without performing in my current duties. And I can't have a career without performing. It kills me. It kills me more than a lot of things. I had hoped not to ever have to job hunt again, to work at Job A for always. I guess it wouldn't be so bad but for the fact that I have no idea what else I'd even want to do. I have no degree, and I'm not keen on returning to school. But I also have no clue what if like to do with the rest of my life. Crossroads, with no clearly marked signs. Hellfire. What am I going to do?

[audioper]

I just made a 2 minute movie of a bunch of coworkers dancing around to music, all in about 30 minutes.

I get to teach several groups of kids how to do this starting tomorrow, and now I have an awesome example movie that will mildly embarrass my friends.

This is pretty friggin awesome.