My Commandments of Cool... book excerpt 1
Definitions: From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: “Cool is an aesthetic of attitude, behavior, comportment, appearance, style and zeitgeist. Because of the varied and changing connotations of cool, as well its subjective nature, the word has no single meaning. It has associations of composure and self-control (cf. the OED definition) and often is used as an expression of admiration or approval as in “dead fuckin’ cool.”
I was an outsider growing up. I never belonged to a particular crowd. Not the jocks, the stoners, the cheerleaders, the geeks, the cool kids, the losers, the foreigners, the weird ones, the gays, the arty-fartys, not quite any of them, but liked all of them and could hang with any of them.
I always felt that I wanted to belong, but didn’t care either because I am my own person - the good and the bad, the cool, the uncool, the achiever and the under-achiever. It’s all me. All I know is deep down I didn’t care what people thought of me…but really I did. What does that mean? My sun sign is Cancer. I’m hard on the outside, but a big softy on the inside. I am a survivor, a thinker, I love people, but love my solitary times…because sometimes I hate people. I am at my best in a social situation when I am at a party and have to “work a room” and meet people for a reason. Or when I am one on one. I hate when I don’t know anyone at a party, I am uncomfortable or I don’t give a fuck who anyone is and I get bored. I don’t like to talk much…only when I have to. I was considered shy as a kid, adolescent and then teenager. I was forced to learn to chit chat, then I became a working adult and had to talk on the phone and charm people. I actually hate chit chatting. I remember key moments in my life that affected my personality. When I was 16 and in High School I decided to voluntarily join an “alternative” school within a school. I don’t know why, as to be termed “alternative” usually made you a retard, a weirdo or a loser flunky in High School. I think I joined because it was something “out of the box”, different, an adventure and separated from the norm. I ended up loving it and my experience was the best. We had 75 students and 3 teachers and 3 class rooms.
I loved and adored our art and humanities teacher. His name was John Nightingale. He told us to call him ‘Nightingale’, not John, not Mr, just Nightingale. He has short hair, a short beard and always carried a hunting knife in a holster on his belt. Back in the day, schools were cooler with this sort of thing. Nighingale was loud, a great photographer, wise teacher and had a funny sense of humor and he liked to keep the students on point, literally.
One of my fondest memories is when we would take lunch break and chose to eat lunch in the classroom area when my friends and I would sit, chat and eat our burritos or sub sandwiches in peace. We liked sitting in the classroom because it was a creative, colorful, spontaneous space that felt like belonged to us, the alternative kids. Nightingale from time to time would be working quietly in his office at lunch then suddenly appear at our table and yell “hey yoooo….watch out, move away! Then all of a sudden he’d whip his hunting knife out, lift it high in the air and chop one of our burritos or subs in half, grab a half and walk away! Nothing more said! It was genius and we’d all loved it! We were honored to share our lunch with Night and aspired to his boldness and spontenaity of heart! Now that was made him cool. He cared for the people around him, watched out for him and had spontinaity of heart!
Thinking back, I didn’t fit in the “cool kid” mold while in High School. Even these days, the cool kids, the hipsters are pretty much the kids that are adventurous in their dress, drugs and music…ok, maybe I was in hindsight but in a skewed way. I didnt quite get the outfit right, didn’t quite listen to the hippest music, didn’t quite roll with the coolest crowd…but maybe that’s cool, being a little different. My main personality trait was to watch, listen and be true to myself and assure of myself and happy with myself, bottom line. Everyone hates themselves from time to time, that is just human nature. Believe me, I have fought many demons and black holes I thought I’d never climb out of and I still do. The thing to remember is ‘life is short, life is short, life is short!’ Unfortunately most people don’t realize that until a life threatening disease hits them or when they hit 40! The saying is so true and we are all lucky to live a day longer even those that suffer undeniable torments – serve in your life by all means.
