New Poem: "InTheLastMoments."
I am sick.
and all out of luck.
enough really isn't enough.
because I'm a couple mistakes
pass the point of being stuck.
and it's crazy how too little
has slowly become a little too much
but what do you really know about that.
or this feeling inside of me.
that's so easily dividing me.
between what was meant to be
and what's trying to be.
I just want that feeling back.
so tell me.
tell me exactly where it's at.
because I'm losing the warmth of knowing
staring into my own eyes
watching myself fall apart
looking up in this night sky
searching for those familiar stars,
but forgetting exactly where they are.
but this night was perfect for the breakdown.
I remember those cold eyes
i remember those cold lies
as your heartbeat started to slow
down, down, down. just like us.
but now it's just slow enough.
atleast we're past where we were
hopefully I can get past what we were
I just hope you haven't forgotten who you are
I just hope you haven't forgotten who we were
but I know things change
I just wish I knew some things were saved.
like those memories we made
way back in the summertime.
I don't understand where exactly you're going
but I know exactly where you're coming from
how they all saw what we had and wanted one
the imperfection in us was quite the secret.
crazy how well we pretended things were perfect
or how we search for that one little person
to trust with all your heart
just for them to turn around and hurt it.
immortality would've been great at a time like this.
i just admire what I was.
strong enough to run.
but just weak enough to love.
and honestly the past couple of years
really haven't taught me much
Because I'm always coming up
to those same obstacles
and somehow I'm still tripping up
I guess you're not really standing for something
if you second guess the part of sticking up.
but when you're facedown in that rut
it's kind of hard to figure out which way is up.
and honestly I've learned that
the hardest part isn't giving up.
it's living with it.
you can burn all the pictures
but it's so hard when you're living in them.
and the only sign of who you are
is who you were being in them.
feelings fade, hearts change
but those memories are forever.
I can still see your face
but only feel the emptiness in your place.
because these shallow words
weren't deep enough to leave a trace.
i guess remembering what to give,
starts by remember what it takes.
compromising on things
when you can't really relate
some say it's avoidable,
but I just say it's fate.
because for the first time ever
never sounds better than too late.
I want that feeling back
but I'll live.
I promise I'll be fine
I promise I'm going to get right
because I know what death feels like
but honestly
I don't think I have the heart
to really play the part
of a second chance at a second life.
but I've got to start somewhere.
