#just ignore it...

[littlefeatherasswithwings]

We’re living in this house for 4 days now. Set up quite a bit. Still missing stuff. Our books are just piled up in one corner because we don’t have bookshelves yet. We only have one sofa and two tables. Our bed. A makeshift wardrobe. Of course we have a fridge, washing machine, cooker and a freezer. We are setting up broadband as well. Well, it is meant to be set up in two weeks. We won’t be able to buy anything else until we have jobs. I registered for an agency today, have to go back for an induction test on Friday and then probably have a job. But - it’s not the one I actually want. The other company I was hoping for called today while I registered to the other place. Calling them back tomorrow. Hope they ask for an interview then I can cancel the whole induction test on Friday (hopefully).

But today has been a very low day all together. And by low I mean… Really fucking low. Probably doesn’t help that I am reading a book about suicidal people at the moment. But them thoughts keep creeping up on me. All of them. Standing at this train station today? Fuck, it was hard. All those passing trains felt like an… opportunity? Missed chance? And I hate myself for thinking that way. Because… I’m supposed to be happy, god dammit. And then that fear of her leaving me for someone else. Because I’m like that. Because of those thoughts and those fucking low moments. And I wouldn’t even blame her for leaving me. I would leave myself if I was her. Then again, I wouldn’t even .. choose me to begin with. And all I do is keep pushing her away. And fucking things up. And ruining everything.

Hiding upstairs in our bedroom right now. I can hear her texting to someone. Hear her reading. And I feel awful because I pushed her away again. Not even giving an explanation. But I can’t talk about this. Not to her. Not face to face anyways…

[thepurplekoala]

I have an assignment due tomorrow and the 1st question is “What is a city? How can we define it?”, am I being stupid into thinking that if I’m answering what is a city... Aren’t I already defining it? =/

[smileplease91]

Idk...

I don’t normally do this. I don’t normally come on here to vent. But I feel like I need to, or I'm gonna go insane...

I got married two weeks ago. Amidst of sickness. I've been in and out of the ER and doctors more than I can count now, and they finally think they've found what was wrong all this time. I have a good dose of mono. It's been rough for me here lately. I lost 6 family members, 4 of whom I was close to. I lost someone close to me, who I pretty much helped raise due to him being best friends/neighbors to my little brother. I had the flu twice in two weeks, a horrible UTI that nearly made me go insane (funny how infection does that to you), tore a chest/shoulder muscle, have had severe panic attacks and depression (which is ongoing and I'm on medication for), and now mono. Marriage was supposed to be the highlight of my life, and while I am happy to have finally married my best friend, we haven't gotten to do anything. No honeymoon, no going anywhere. All I've been is sick, and now, I may lose my job, too, from missing work so much, even though I have doctor excuses. I live in a state that is a worker’s right state, meaning you can get fired for anything. I can’t stop crying. I’ve lost 30 lbs in 2 months. My own father, who has always been the one to tell me that I’m okay or will be okay, is worried about me. I've never felt so hopeless in my life.

[nikkoleura-blog]

I Dunno, A Little Sad I Guess

Maybe it’s stupid, but I just kinda feel down since my mom nor dad called me to tell me happy birthday today...

[keyandcrown-archive]

Jims Punishment

He stood on the roof top with sherlock, the plan was going splendidly... when he suddenly starts to laugh.

“What?” he questions turning back to him this wasn't suppose to happen...

“What is it?” he asks getting angry with the laughing detective.

“What did I miss?” he was angry now.

sherlock hops down from the ledge and walks over to him and starts to circle him.

“You’re not going to do it.” So the killers can be called off, then – there’s a recall code or a word or a number. I don’t have to die ... (his voice becomes sing-song) ... if I’ve got you.”

“Oh!” Jim laughs in relieved delight, he realises he will have to do it... he will have to use the back up plan... “You think you can make me stop the order? You think you can make me do that?” 

Sherlock was still circling him “Yes. So do you.” 

“Sherlock, your big brother and all the King’s horses couldn’t make me do a thing I didn’t want to.” Jim pointed out to the detective. 

“Yes, but I’m not my brother, remember? I am you – prepared to do anything; prepared to burn; prepared to do what ordinary people won’t do. You want me to shake hands with you in hell? I shall not disappoint you.” Sherlock countered stopping and getting into His face. “Naah. You talk big. Naah. You’re ordinary. You’re ordinary – you’re on the side of the angels.” Jim stated shaking his head slowly... this was more fun than he thought...

“Oh, I may be on the side of the angels, but don’t think for one second that I am one of them.” “No, you’re not.” he grins and blinks slowly “I see. You’re not ordinary. No. You’re me.” “You’re me! Thank you!” Jim was now playing on his insanity, showing him just how messed up he could be... but this time it wasn't the forgetting of his meds... this time he was acting... 

“Sherlock Holmes.” he shakes his hand slowly. “Thank you. Bless you.” he tells him softly, pretending to be touched. “As long as I’m alive, you can save your friends; you’ve got a way out.” He then grins manically “Well, good luck with that.”

Jim quickly pushes him back, lifts his hand up with the gun, into his mouth... Only for another one to go off, taking him off guard, something small hits him, pushing him back, making it still look like he shot himself as the fake blood pours out of the bag from under his collar.... 

Not knowing what happened he closes his eyes as he sinks into the darkness barely hearing what sherlock’s reaction was... but he knew what ever happened the plan still should work...

jillian-moriarty

[blaster-liberator]

Hnnn haven't roleplayed all day...ack...

[bonnetsnlace-blog]

Reblog if you have scars on your body

'Cause I know I do.FROM AN EPIC CHILDHOOD